A blank slate is really hard to corrupt. What do you fill it with? What direction do you want it to go? Do you use the tried and true? Do you experiment? Do you test the boundaries of right and wrong? Do you make it up as you go along?
For you see, my life, and my head, is a blank now. As the focus of my family fades as they once again defect to glorious Shanghai, I am left with the tedious repetition of waking up to an almost empty house, working on my computer and coming to bad results, procrastinating on my rusty weights and generally building up fat for the impending doom, so that I would outlast all the other thin people walking about, having worked against their genetic make up to hype up their metabolism to the point of self implosion.
However, there is some holes poked into my bleak tunnel. Little rivulets of distractions as I thread on a razor thin wire each day. I started my World of Warcraft account, and have been wasting many precious hours on it each day. Right now I’m a level 28 Troll Rogue on the server Skullcrusher. Do look me up if you are in the “vicinity”.
Another would be the fact that I have the house all to myself. That means I can do anything I want to it. Beyond the list of To-Do’’s which my mum mistakenly entrusted upon me are many sub-projects that I have been concocting. A rearrangement of my room, a complete re-organisation of my ever growing comic book collection (nearing 20,000!) and my recent acquisition, a new 7-ft Christmas Tree. Mainly just to perk up my mood for the next month and a half.
I killed my younger brother’s fish the other day. A fighting fish. I changed all the water in the tank, which I think I shouldn’t have. Not all at once. Anyway, felt bad for awhile, but only awhile. It would be interesting to see how he feels when he returns from his holiday. Hahaaa!
The japs have made a neural transmitter that could make a toy train switch on or off just by willpower alone. This scares the shit outta me somehow, but it’s the future.
I miss pool.
Anyone up for paintball?
I actually like Daniel Craig.
Sigh… this blog sucks huh. I need a life. Play WOW got no life. Just watch South Park season 10 episode 8.
There’re truths in that. Hahaha! Somewhere.
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Phooey, Where did the time go?
Its great to be back. I’m slowly finding my routine in life once again as the dust settles around me. Pity the haze is still getting in the way.
This whole month has been one huge event after another. Pretty happening, and ultimately disruptive. It started when my parents came back home from Shanghai. My father had previously gone for a medical checkup that showed that he would require stents to 2 blood vessels, and on this trip they did an angiogram to finalise his situation. To their astonishment, he had 1 totally clogged and another 85% clogged. They immediately tried stents on him but to no avail, as the fat had coagulated to an unimaginable density, and the stents had no chance getting through.
Eventually, he had to have bypass surgery, an extremely invasive procedure that had only 2% risk of death. He went through with it and came out tops, of course, and he’s now recovering at home. For me, that entire 2 week period was just endless trips to the hospital everyday, being there for my mother as much as I could, giving her support and comfort in these trying times.
It didn’t help that our dear gahment chose this period for me to serve my country again in the depressive camouflage greens. While it may be great to once again meet up with my platoon mates, it was a challenge every evening as I returned to the hospital to check on things. My petrol use this month should be through the roof, even with the fall in oil prices.
Anyway, I survived the ordeal, and my few discomforts must’ve been nothing compared to what my father is still going through. Having your ribcage sawn in 2 is no small matter, and have titanium chains or staples holding them back together can’t be fun either. Ouch indeed.
I quite enjoyed my 5 days in camp though. I tried out a new gun which was very accurate, and did some catching up with the guys. It helped take my mind off things. For awhile, I was stressed over providing for the family in any and all ways possible. Being in camp meant that I couldn’t do nuts and thus, was relieved of my responsibilities, albeit only temporary.
So with all these disruptions, the first 2 weeks of this month was gone, and the pitfalls of being self-employed is that you lose your income when you are away from the desk. As my self-imposed deadline approaches, I’m constantly pressuring myself to hit my targets. So it was with great dismay when I returned to my desk and tried to recover my usual patterns, only to find that I have analysis paralysis. I guess being too far off from my usual routines have made me think twice over before every action.
Finally got off my ass and did some trades. Once again, profits came and went. This is one tough game indeed. Professional help I need. Yes. More research, more skills to acquire.
Wish me luck.
This whole month has been one huge event after another. Pretty happening, and ultimately disruptive. It started when my parents came back home from Shanghai. My father had previously gone for a medical checkup that showed that he would require stents to 2 blood vessels, and on this trip they did an angiogram to finalise his situation. To their astonishment, he had 1 totally clogged and another 85% clogged. They immediately tried stents on him but to no avail, as the fat had coagulated to an unimaginable density, and the stents had no chance getting through.
Eventually, he had to have bypass surgery, an extremely invasive procedure that had only 2% risk of death. He went through with it and came out tops, of course, and he’s now recovering at home. For me, that entire 2 week period was just endless trips to the hospital everyday, being there for my mother as much as I could, giving her support and comfort in these trying times.
It didn’t help that our dear gahment chose this period for me to serve my country again in the depressive camouflage greens. While it may be great to once again meet up with my platoon mates, it was a challenge every evening as I returned to the hospital to check on things. My petrol use this month should be through the roof, even with the fall in oil prices.
Anyway, I survived the ordeal, and my few discomforts must’ve been nothing compared to what my father is still going through. Having your ribcage sawn in 2 is no small matter, and have titanium chains or staples holding them back together can’t be fun either. Ouch indeed.
I quite enjoyed my 5 days in camp though. I tried out a new gun which was very accurate, and did some catching up with the guys. It helped take my mind off things. For awhile, I was stressed over providing for the family in any and all ways possible. Being in camp meant that I couldn’t do nuts and thus, was relieved of my responsibilities, albeit only temporary.
So with all these disruptions, the first 2 weeks of this month was gone, and the pitfalls of being self-employed is that you lose your income when you are away from the desk. As my self-imposed deadline approaches, I’m constantly pressuring myself to hit my targets. So it was with great dismay when I returned to my desk and tried to recover my usual patterns, only to find that I have analysis paralysis. I guess being too far off from my usual routines have made me think twice over before every action.
Finally got off my ass and did some trades. Once again, profits came and went. This is one tough game indeed. Professional help I need. Yes. More research, more skills to acquire.
Wish me luck.
Friday, September 29, 2006
Sir Rant-A-Lot
How much knowledge is too much knowledge? Should we really take in all the crap the world has to offer and process them all at once?
I ask this because I’d recently found myself downloading and watching way too many programmes on the environment, on saving the world from global warming, the rising costs of oil (although it has fallen recently, and I’m sure only temporarily), incredible dream-like energy machines and of course, conspiracy theories.
It sorta eats at you. It wears me out. The entire social subconscious and its guilt battling with its nefarious counterparts, like its capitalist drive. We all hope for a better tomorrow, and arrive at it in many different ways. Saving the earth is more like saving the environment for our children to grow up healthily in. Instinctively, we will always be doing that, even those who are profiting from destroying the planet now.
I have come to that conclusion simply because those businessmen don’t seem all that worried. Sure they are loaded, but if they knew that the planet would be dying because of their actions, they’d either stop it now, not have families, or purchase property in the Himalayas, to survive the treacherous weather and rise in sea levels.
There has to be some conclusive evidence out there that the planet can weather all these through (pardon the pun). They do not release it because they love to have that culture of fear, to force people to purchase now, and gain instant gratification before its too late. They have weakened us so through their many campaigns of consumer product redundancies. Bigger, better, faster MORE!
So those green people out there are just jumping the gun. They are exploring new energy sources at a premium. The big guys have it all planned out already. They are just waiting for the drillings to come up with nothing. Then they’d convert our petrol stations in a blink of an eye. Business continuity is always a priority. And they shall use up all current resources before enacting and spending millions to ensure said continuity.
I guess that has always been the case. The powerful have risen up because of the way they function and succeed in society, and once there, they would do anything to maintain the status quo, for that already states that is will be them who are at the top. It takes something monumental like a revolution to restart things, and new leaders will slowly rise up and the cycles continue.
So whats the truth behind this directionless rant? To me, its simple. Let’s chill. Let’s just let the economy run its course, for our individual actions do not really cause an impact as some people might lead you to think. Live for yourself and yourself alone. We shouldn’t worry so much about the macro, and focus more on the micro. Bring your sphere of concern closer. Cherish all around you, and just donate or do some charity for those beyond said sphere. You cannot help everyone.
Until my business, which also would be a force of global change, comes along. With great wealth comes great responsibility.
I ask this because I’d recently found myself downloading and watching way too many programmes on the environment, on saving the world from global warming, the rising costs of oil (although it has fallen recently, and I’m sure only temporarily), incredible dream-like energy machines and of course, conspiracy theories.
It sorta eats at you. It wears me out. The entire social subconscious and its guilt battling with its nefarious counterparts, like its capitalist drive. We all hope for a better tomorrow, and arrive at it in many different ways. Saving the earth is more like saving the environment for our children to grow up healthily in. Instinctively, we will always be doing that, even those who are profiting from destroying the planet now.
I have come to that conclusion simply because those businessmen don’t seem all that worried. Sure they are loaded, but if they knew that the planet would be dying because of their actions, they’d either stop it now, not have families, or purchase property in the Himalayas, to survive the treacherous weather and rise in sea levels.
There has to be some conclusive evidence out there that the planet can weather all these through (pardon the pun). They do not release it because they love to have that culture of fear, to force people to purchase now, and gain instant gratification before its too late. They have weakened us so through their many campaigns of consumer product redundancies. Bigger, better, faster MORE!
So those green people out there are just jumping the gun. They are exploring new energy sources at a premium. The big guys have it all planned out already. They are just waiting for the drillings to come up with nothing. Then they’d convert our petrol stations in a blink of an eye. Business continuity is always a priority. And they shall use up all current resources before enacting and spending millions to ensure said continuity.
I guess that has always been the case. The powerful have risen up because of the way they function and succeed in society, and once there, they would do anything to maintain the status quo, for that already states that is will be them who are at the top. It takes something monumental like a revolution to restart things, and new leaders will slowly rise up and the cycles continue.
So whats the truth behind this directionless rant? To me, its simple. Let’s chill. Let’s just let the economy run its course, for our individual actions do not really cause an impact as some people might lead you to think. Live for yourself and yourself alone. We shouldn’t worry so much about the macro, and focus more on the micro. Bring your sphere of concern closer. Cherish all around you, and just donate or do some charity for those beyond said sphere. You cannot help everyone.
Until my business, which also would be a force of global change, comes along. With great wealth comes great responsibility.
Monday, September 11, 2006
Zi bai Siao Liao
I’d just gone onto the Singapore Sports Council website and booked a squash court for tomorrow. As usual, anyone would print out their booking for later reference, in case some prick thinks he booked the same court over the same time slot.
So I keyed in all the details, paid for it and then printed it out. It took an amazingly long time and I found out why. You see, the webpage is a black background, with a side panel and a main panel. The details were on the main panel, all nicely shown in white text. What came out from my printer was exactly that. 2 pages, 1 fully black of the side panel, and another fully black with the booking details. The 2 sheets were wet and dripping in my very precious black ink. It was a horrible day, and this has to occur.
I clicked on the link for feedback posting. I keyed in everything required, made my case and submitted my suggestion. It was for their own good in the long run, and also my cartridge’s, and subsequently my wallet. The next page that loaded insisted that I should log in first then submit the complaint. The thing was that I had already logged in ages ago, else I wouldn’t be able to book the fucking court to begin with.
I gave up after trying a few other iterations. Then I got worried about my credit card information that I had just given them. If their basic programming of the site is that buggy, how safe could their “secure” handling of sensitive information be?
I’m so screwed.
So I keyed in all the details, paid for it and then printed it out. It took an amazingly long time and I found out why. You see, the webpage is a black background, with a side panel and a main panel. The details were on the main panel, all nicely shown in white text. What came out from my printer was exactly that. 2 pages, 1 fully black of the side panel, and another fully black with the booking details. The 2 sheets were wet and dripping in my very precious black ink. It was a horrible day, and this has to occur.
I clicked on the link for feedback posting. I keyed in everything required, made my case and submitted my suggestion. It was for their own good in the long run, and also my cartridge’s, and subsequently my wallet. The next page that loaded insisted that I should log in first then submit the complaint. The thing was that I had already logged in ages ago, else I wouldn’t be able to book the fucking court to begin with.
I gave up after trying a few other iterations. Then I got worried about my credit card information that I had just given them. If their basic programming of the site is that buggy, how safe could their “secure” handling of sensitive information be?
I’m so screwed.
Thursday, August 31, 2006
The ultimate bloodsucker, my car is.
I almost died over the weekend again. Twice. Within a span of 5mins.
Both instances were clear examples of requiring the driver’s eyes to be on the road at every instance of locomotion. The first occurred when I was fixing up the next disc to insert into the radio. I lifted my head in time to see the car approaching towards me (its all relative, isn’t it?) at an uncomfortable pace. I braked and swerved in the nick of time. The driver horned at me, more out of shock than anything else. I mean, his warning came after the fact. The funny thing was that my heart didn’t pound as it usually does after near-deaths. Rather, I felt quite calm, and carried on my journey. I guess it was because I was in such a nonchalant mood.
5 minutes later, I did it again, this time, I was directing the air-con vents toward me as it was a bloody hot day. Same thing, only this time my little brother shouted at me, and woke me from my preoccupation with not sweating. I braked too harshly (but thank you ABS!). So there, twice. This blog could have not ever seen the light of day and you would have regained 5 mins of your life. Quick, turn away now. Close the browser and move along with your stagnant life.
Still here? Cool.
The reason I call this car a bloodsucker is that it literally sucks so much blood from my wallet. Just this week, my battery died. I called my car dealership for help, and they sent down a sub-conned tow truck. The dude suggested that he change the battery for me then and there, saving time and undercutting the dealership. I said ok, knowing full well the cost of doing so. My warranty may be voided, the battery could suck soon after, and many other factors. But I went along anyway because I wanted to carry on using the car for the evening. The money changed hands and the deed was done. The trip home was a ride of supreme introspection. I ran the scenario over in my head countless of times. I know I made my decision, but was it the right one? I live by the motto of just doing the right thing. But the right thing seems such an abstract notion now. Its all about context I guess.
So the thing is, did the decision of changing the battery then and there, and the convenience of having the car work immediately worth the risk of my warranty being voided? Give me your two cents please? I’ll take both for your thoughts, and not just a penny like most others.
This risk taking also led me to question my current immediate direction in life, that of trading futures contracts as a living. Am I taking way too much risk? Is my tolerance too high for4 my own good? It was a trying evening to say the least.
And thus, I felt the car was such a burden. It didn’t help that I had to renew my road tax this month either, and that my trading account is in a net negative for August. I was out of it for quite a while.
But just the other night, I had a wonderful experience in the car that reminded me that it’s actually quite worth the while for instances like these. No, it wasn’t car sex in the back seat. (my car’s too small for that, or am I too big? Hmm…..) It was pure and simple. It was just a kid in the car ahead of me at the traffic lights. He stared right at me, and started shooting imaginary bullets with his handgun.
I returned fire.
He ducked, and we sparred vehemently to the next traffic light, where I had to turn off. I waved goodbye and he waved back at me, smiling. I laughed. It was pure, unadulterated joy. And it redeems humanity in my psyche. There may just be hope yet.
Both instances were clear examples of requiring the driver’s eyes to be on the road at every instance of locomotion. The first occurred when I was fixing up the next disc to insert into the radio. I lifted my head in time to see the car approaching towards me (its all relative, isn’t it?) at an uncomfortable pace. I braked and swerved in the nick of time. The driver horned at me, more out of shock than anything else. I mean, his warning came after the fact. The funny thing was that my heart didn’t pound as it usually does after near-deaths. Rather, I felt quite calm, and carried on my journey. I guess it was because I was in such a nonchalant mood.
5 minutes later, I did it again, this time, I was directing the air-con vents toward me as it was a bloody hot day. Same thing, only this time my little brother shouted at me, and woke me from my preoccupation with not sweating. I braked too harshly (but thank you ABS!). So there, twice. This blog could have not ever seen the light of day and you would have regained 5 mins of your life. Quick, turn away now. Close the browser and move along with your stagnant life.
Still here? Cool.
The reason I call this car a bloodsucker is that it literally sucks so much blood from my wallet. Just this week, my battery died. I called my car dealership for help, and they sent down a sub-conned tow truck. The dude suggested that he change the battery for me then and there, saving time and undercutting the dealership. I said ok, knowing full well the cost of doing so. My warranty may be voided, the battery could suck soon after, and many other factors. But I went along anyway because I wanted to carry on using the car for the evening. The money changed hands and the deed was done. The trip home was a ride of supreme introspection. I ran the scenario over in my head countless of times. I know I made my decision, but was it the right one? I live by the motto of just doing the right thing. But the right thing seems such an abstract notion now. Its all about context I guess.
So the thing is, did the decision of changing the battery then and there, and the convenience of having the car work immediately worth the risk of my warranty being voided? Give me your two cents please? I’ll take both for your thoughts, and not just a penny like most others.
This risk taking also led me to question my current immediate direction in life, that of trading futures contracts as a living. Am I taking way too much risk? Is my tolerance too high for4 my own good? It was a trying evening to say the least.
And thus, I felt the car was such a burden. It didn’t help that I had to renew my road tax this month either, and that my trading account is in a net negative for August. I was out of it for quite a while.
But just the other night, I had a wonderful experience in the car that reminded me that it’s actually quite worth the while for instances like these. No, it wasn’t car sex in the back seat. (my car’s too small for that, or am I too big? Hmm…..) It was pure and simple. It was just a kid in the car ahead of me at the traffic lights. He stared right at me, and started shooting imaginary bullets with his handgun.
I returned fire.
He ducked, and we sparred vehemently to the next traffic light, where I had to turn off. I waved goodbye and he waved back at me, smiling. I laughed. It was pure, unadulterated joy. And it redeems humanity in my psyche. There may just be hope yet.
Friday, August 18, 2006
Bogusity
I’d recently watched a documentary I downloaded off the ether. The title was Forbidden Archeology, narrated by Moses himself. In it, they went in search of fossil findings that went against the grain of the scientific community. Examples are human footprints beside T-rex’s on the same rock strata, and human bones within bedrock millions of years old. Most of these findings were disregarded, and some even had their specimens confiscated, the dig site closed by the governments and professional careers ruined.
The documentary also hinted on the old constructions at Egypt and Peru. How similar these 2 ancient civilizations are, from monolithic structures like the pyramids, which were build with such precise accuracy, in terms of astronomical significance of structural positionings, to civil engineering, wherein spaces within the blocks are so fine that a playing card couldn’t fit between. When the Spanish questioned the indigineous population in South America on the cities hidden within the forests, they replied that they did not build them, and they have been there for thousands of years.
There was a map discovered from the 16th century, that clearly depicted Antartica’s landmass, below the immense sheets of ice found there. The western civilization didn’t find out the precise look of that particular landmass till the mid 60s, when seismic probes were done to map out the area. The map from the past even stated that the knowledge was derived from 20 other sources, and was most probably compiled in the library at Alexandria. What all these facts pointed to was that perhaps there are older civilizations that we have absolutely no idea of, including the angle of Atlantis, which may very well lie beneath the glaciers at the South Pole.
Now, how could an advanced civilization exist below 2 miles of ice? Simple, the crust tilted on its axis coupla thousand years back. This they attribute to the carcass of a well preserved mammoth. In its stomach was its last meal of grassland shrubs. Now, how could a mammoth suddenly be killed and frozen over with its lunch intact? THE EARTH TILTED ON ITS AXIS! What was once tropical is now polar, and vice versa. And it occurs when the poles are too heavy with ice, and the earth’s crust is imbalanced. It happens every 40 thousand years. And thus, Atlantis, which was once in the Earth’s oceans, right smack in the middle, and along the equator, is suddenly in the south pole. The civilization is endangered, and its people move to other lands, namely Africa and South America, some to the Fijian islands, some to Greece, and some to England apparently, where they built Stonehenge.
Please find all the loopholes and give me the Truth. Frankly, I hated Charlton Heston since Bowling for Columbine.
The documentary also hinted on the old constructions at Egypt and Peru. How similar these 2 ancient civilizations are, from monolithic structures like the pyramids, which were build with such precise accuracy, in terms of astronomical significance of structural positionings, to civil engineering, wherein spaces within the blocks are so fine that a playing card couldn’t fit between. When the Spanish questioned the indigineous population in South America on the cities hidden within the forests, they replied that they did not build them, and they have been there for thousands of years.
There was a map discovered from the 16th century, that clearly depicted Antartica’s landmass, below the immense sheets of ice found there. The western civilization didn’t find out the precise look of that particular landmass till the mid 60s, when seismic probes were done to map out the area. The map from the past even stated that the knowledge was derived from 20 other sources, and was most probably compiled in the library at Alexandria. What all these facts pointed to was that perhaps there are older civilizations that we have absolutely no idea of, including the angle of Atlantis, which may very well lie beneath the glaciers at the South Pole.
Now, how could an advanced civilization exist below 2 miles of ice? Simple, the crust tilted on its axis coupla thousand years back. This they attribute to the carcass of a well preserved mammoth. In its stomach was its last meal of grassland shrubs. Now, how could a mammoth suddenly be killed and frozen over with its lunch intact? THE EARTH TILTED ON ITS AXIS! What was once tropical is now polar, and vice versa. And it occurs when the poles are too heavy with ice, and the earth’s crust is imbalanced. It happens every 40 thousand years. And thus, Atlantis, which was once in the Earth’s oceans, right smack in the middle, and along the equator, is suddenly in the south pole. The civilization is endangered, and its people move to other lands, namely Africa and South America, some to the Fijian islands, some to Greece, and some to England apparently, where they built Stonehenge.
Please find all the loopholes and give me the Truth. Frankly, I hated Charlton Heston since Bowling for Columbine.
More stories from the Concrete Kampong
Once again, I found myself at a petrol station in the middle of the night. And when I say middle, I mean 4am. There was only 1 pump attendant, and he was slouched over on the curb, sleeping. When I finished pumping, I looked up and he was there, giving me my pump number. I thanked the old guy, and hoped that his standard of living is ok, for to go through this shit every night would be quite a nightmare.
The cashier however was a bight young lad, with a gold ring. He was alert and even tried to sell me more stuff other than petrol. I thanked him and said that I did not need to buy 4 car fresheners to get $8 bucks off my petrol.
Next stop, the atm. I went by some old blocks of flats where my good friend used to stay. The residents have been moved out as the government has decided to redevelop this plot of land. Hence, the entire block had their lights off, even along the corridors and void deck. However, some rooms still had their lights on, which was very disturbing. Yellow lights in the toilets and the like. I don’t know why, but I had goosebumps.
There was a cat lying by the atm. I’m more of a dog person, but I found this particular cat quite beautiful. I believe that was a first. A stray cat at that. As I walked by him, he gave me a dark look, almost as if he was reprimanding me for waking him up in the middle of the night. Bloody buggers sleep all day anyway, so I wanted to kick him.
I withdrew 150 bucks. Let’s just say, in the middle of the night, atms run out of 50 dollar bills. I got a wad of 10s. My poor wallet strained under the responsibility.
The news got to me this week. I heard of a new born infant who was abandoned in a locker in a supermarket over in Bishan. It had been dead for 2 weeks. Somehow, this tragedy evoked a sizable amount of anguish within me. I can never understand how something so precious could be discarded in such a fashion. Imagine how the many couples out there who cannot conceive would’ve brought up this wonderful child.
And I’d finally learnt why the Israelis had such a terrible campaign against the Hezbollah. The commander in chief of this entire operation was an air force general, and such a conflict can never be resolved from the air. Perhaps they were just making a point that they too are like the Americans, dependant on air power, and deserving empathy/sympathy. Their ground troops, under an army general, would have gotten the 2 soldiers back in no time. Pity that is the civilians who suffer the most.
And thus, to shield me from the weariness that is reality, I’ve been listening to Power98 in the mornings. They have a new host to go with Maggie, and it was none other than Hossan Leong. Funny bugger, and always bursting into song. I prefer his brand of humour (lower brow) to Joe Augustyn’s, which can get rather derogatory at times.
Could Hossan save my sanity? Stay tuned!
The cashier however was a bight young lad, with a gold ring. He was alert and even tried to sell me more stuff other than petrol. I thanked him and said that I did not need to buy 4 car fresheners to get $8 bucks off my petrol.
Next stop, the atm. I went by some old blocks of flats where my good friend used to stay. The residents have been moved out as the government has decided to redevelop this plot of land. Hence, the entire block had their lights off, even along the corridors and void deck. However, some rooms still had their lights on, which was very disturbing. Yellow lights in the toilets and the like. I don’t know why, but I had goosebumps.
There was a cat lying by the atm. I’m more of a dog person, but I found this particular cat quite beautiful. I believe that was a first. A stray cat at that. As I walked by him, he gave me a dark look, almost as if he was reprimanding me for waking him up in the middle of the night. Bloody buggers sleep all day anyway, so I wanted to kick him.
I withdrew 150 bucks. Let’s just say, in the middle of the night, atms run out of 50 dollar bills. I got a wad of 10s. My poor wallet strained under the responsibility.
The news got to me this week. I heard of a new born infant who was abandoned in a locker in a supermarket over in Bishan. It had been dead for 2 weeks. Somehow, this tragedy evoked a sizable amount of anguish within me. I can never understand how something so precious could be discarded in such a fashion. Imagine how the many couples out there who cannot conceive would’ve brought up this wonderful child.
And I’d finally learnt why the Israelis had such a terrible campaign against the Hezbollah. The commander in chief of this entire operation was an air force general, and such a conflict can never be resolved from the air. Perhaps they were just making a point that they too are like the Americans, dependant on air power, and deserving empathy/sympathy. Their ground troops, under an army general, would have gotten the 2 soldiers back in no time. Pity that is the civilians who suffer the most.
And thus, to shield me from the weariness that is reality, I’ve been listening to Power98 in the mornings. They have a new host to go with Maggie, and it was none other than Hossan Leong. Funny bugger, and always bursting into song. I prefer his brand of humour (lower brow) to Joe Augustyn’s, which can get rather derogatory at times.
Could Hossan save my sanity? Stay tuned!
The Experience
He checks the links in his armor, and the intricacies of his chain mail. His gloves fit snugly, his knuckles capped by iron protrusions. He grips his shield, feeling its weight and balance. No turning back now. The animal mustn’t get loose too soon, else the proverbial shit would hit the fan big time. He pulls the hunting knife out of its sheath, reveling in its metallic tang and incandescent shine. Now, it must taste blood. The blood of monsters. The gates open, and he steps into the light.
He approaches the animal, his heart pounding in its place. His temples his very own boom-box. The roar from the spectators suddenly breaks into his zone. He pauses, soaking in the atmosphere, relishing his moment in the spotlight. The smells around him full of dust and iron. He stares at his opponent in the eyes, and shouts, “RELEASE HIM!”
The 3-tonned beast, upon feeling the slack in his moorings, jerks forward and breaks the last screws holding him in his place. He instinctively knew that the creature before him has to die. He hasn’t been fed in days, and his bloodlust is strong. He rushes forth, his muscles rippling under his scaly skin. He retracts his spikes to make then stand on ends. He roars, instilling fear in the heart of his prey. If he could, he would have smiled.
The warrior stands his ground, analyzing the creature’s movements and approach. The rumbling mass thundering towards him was fluid and graceful for its size. This, finally, is a worthy opponent. The rage could be felt from across the arena. The crowd bursts into further ecstasy as they anticipate the action that is to occur. All he could focus on was the beast, and the Royal pit. The King, way past his heyday, looks on solemnly on the proceedings, having seen many before. Behind him, the princess looks on in admiration. “Time to put on a good show, I suppose.” The warrior says to himself. He nods and his face plate drops.
The beast reaches his prey with the full force and attempts to gore the pitiful two-legged freak in the torso with his jade tusk. The absence of resistance tells him he missed, and he trashes about immediately, instinct taking over. He sniffs and detects the being to his right, rolling in the sand. A hit. And now the kill.
The warrior moves with the momentum, spins and kicks himself up. A lucky shot, a smart beast, almost. Before the beast turns, he throws his shield to his right, and spins the knife in his hand, holding the blade and pulling back his arm. The beast’s focus follows the shield as it turns, exposing his side. The warrior aims, and fires the knife, hitting the beast squarely in the right eye. The crowd goes wild.
He walks to the beast, and leaps ever so easily onto its back. It lurches and attempts to throw the warrior off. It tries to maneuver its spikes to pierce his victim. In desperation, he too rolls in the dust. The warrior’s lightning quick reflexes prevents him from a crushing death as he leaps off the animal. He was finally feeling challenged. As he was about to land, a spike pierces his left shin, and goes right through the armor. He is stuck, and he is brought up into midair, like a prize for the beast. His invincibility falters as he is disgracefully paraded in the middle of the arena. The crowd boos, and his pride is smashed. He feels the beast beginning another roll……
“End program.”
He opens his eyes, a twisted knot on his forehead.
“I lost again,” he says to himself. He peels off the remote lenses from his cornea, and mentally commands the nanites to remove the skinsuit around him. He feels the particles fall to the ground, reabsorbed into his room-sphere.
He has been trying this scenario for the past week, unsuccessfully. He recalls the package he bought from the Immersion Engine, and the prize at the end. A violent treat, with experiences enough to tingle the most blaise senses. The goal of course was the clincher, a simulated night with the nymphet of a princess, based upon the form of the most celebrated inter-planetary idol this past fortnight.
Tomorrow, I shall purchase the psychic cheats. No way the beast would be able to beat it.
He approaches the animal, his heart pounding in its place. His temples his very own boom-box. The roar from the spectators suddenly breaks into his zone. He pauses, soaking in the atmosphere, relishing his moment in the spotlight. The smells around him full of dust and iron. He stares at his opponent in the eyes, and shouts, “RELEASE HIM!”
The 3-tonned beast, upon feeling the slack in his moorings, jerks forward and breaks the last screws holding him in his place. He instinctively knew that the creature before him has to die. He hasn’t been fed in days, and his bloodlust is strong. He rushes forth, his muscles rippling under his scaly skin. He retracts his spikes to make then stand on ends. He roars, instilling fear in the heart of his prey. If he could, he would have smiled.
The warrior stands his ground, analyzing the creature’s movements and approach. The rumbling mass thundering towards him was fluid and graceful for its size. This, finally, is a worthy opponent. The rage could be felt from across the arena. The crowd bursts into further ecstasy as they anticipate the action that is to occur. All he could focus on was the beast, and the Royal pit. The King, way past his heyday, looks on solemnly on the proceedings, having seen many before. Behind him, the princess looks on in admiration. “Time to put on a good show, I suppose.” The warrior says to himself. He nods and his face plate drops.
The beast reaches his prey with the full force and attempts to gore the pitiful two-legged freak in the torso with his jade tusk. The absence of resistance tells him he missed, and he trashes about immediately, instinct taking over. He sniffs and detects the being to his right, rolling in the sand. A hit. And now the kill.
The warrior moves with the momentum, spins and kicks himself up. A lucky shot, a smart beast, almost. Before the beast turns, he throws his shield to his right, and spins the knife in his hand, holding the blade and pulling back his arm. The beast’s focus follows the shield as it turns, exposing his side. The warrior aims, and fires the knife, hitting the beast squarely in the right eye. The crowd goes wild.
He walks to the beast, and leaps ever so easily onto its back. It lurches and attempts to throw the warrior off. It tries to maneuver its spikes to pierce his victim. In desperation, he too rolls in the dust. The warrior’s lightning quick reflexes prevents him from a crushing death as he leaps off the animal. He was finally feeling challenged. As he was about to land, a spike pierces his left shin, and goes right through the armor. He is stuck, and he is brought up into midair, like a prize for the beast. His invincibility falters as he is disgracefully paraded in the middle of the arena. The crowd boos, and his pride is smashed. He feels the beast beginning another roll……
“End program.”
He opens his eyes, a twisted knot on his forehead.
“I lost again,” he says to himself. He peels off the remote lenses from his cornea, and mentally commands the nanites to remove the skinsuit around him. He feels the particles fall to the ground, reabsorbed into his room-sphere.
He has been trying this scenario for the past week, unsuccessfully. He recalls the package he bought from the Immersion Engine, and the prize at the end. A violent treat, with experiences enough to tingle the most blaise senses. The goal of course was the clincher, a simulated night with the nymphet of a princess, based upon the form of the most celebrated inter-planetary idol this past fortnight.
Tomorrow, I shall purchase the psychic cheats. No way the beast would be able to beat it.
Friday, August 11, 2006
So long, and thanks for the memories
So we are losing our National Stadium soon, the iconic gray megalith of unbreakable stone and grime. I will miss the old, run down place. For a place that I had spent very minimal time in, it sure holds many sweet memories for me. Primarily from the many sports days held there over my upper primary and secondary school days, breaking rules and chatting up my NPCC friends who were manning the stairs, not letting any pass and escape the dreary proceedings under the hot sun. the 20 x 100m dash highlight; the screaming from teachers on our misconduct; the many tussles occurring at the fringes of spectator divisions between the different schools. Much as we’d like to forget, our schools always demanded and received a certain strain of loyalty from us. Me, I was always checking out the chicks from the other schools. Fresh , new blood. Hmmm…..
Hah, I’m actually listening to music from the 80’s while I type this out. Ahhh, electronica and heavy synthetic bass.
*Danger Zone – Kenny Loggins*
I never attended a national day celebration there. The closest thing to a national communal thingy was some soccer matches. I remember attending a Lions vs Pahang match, the ever deadly vendetta between provided for an electric atmosphere; and also when Newcastle came to visit, with Shearer stretching by the side, when they had just signed him on. We were so psyched up for him to hit the pitch, but he never did.
So the stadium is to go. In its place would be a sports complex. Out with the old, in with new, that’s the way cities move. An ever constantly changing organism; a sum of its constituents; a soul in flux. Love it. Change can’t come quick enough for me. I get bored easily.
So I went to fill my car with more global warming chemicals late at night on National Day. As I stopped at a junction, I turned to the left and saw this car parking, and a young fellow stepped out of it. He was wearing green coveralls adorned with many patches in the designs of our military insignias. And he was holding a Styrofoam box, walking with a clearly tired gait. He must’ve just performed for the entire nation, high up in the sky, after training for it for months prior, living with precise timings and synchronicity with his squadron. I saluted him in my heart, and remembered how I used to long to be in his shoes. Life would’ve been so different. I would’ve been so different. I’d actually be cool, and with a set goal in mind. Heck, I would’ve run for presidency at the end of that road. Hah!
Then I turned to my right and saw this bicycle go by. A guy was riding hard to move the bike up a gentle slope. The funny thing was that just behind him was a frame, and there was a lady in a white dress seated every so straightly, facing away from me. I could see her long black tresses which almost didn’t seem to move. I was bemused. Here was a classic image right out of a hongkong horror flick. I laughed, and secretly wished she didn’t turn around to show me her 15cm long tongue or empty eye sockets. Brrrr…..
I caught Lady in the Water the other day. I so do love M.Night Shymalan’s work. This time round, he didn’t have a cameo. He had an fucking starring role, which tanked. But I liked the show overall. While I profess to not fully appreciate the underlying allegory (failed literature in sec sch), I think he was talking about the war that the USA is engaged in. The war in the middle east, not the war on mutant grass escaping golf courses and invading the wilds (I’m serious, its true! The latter war, that is). What did you see in the film? I would like to know.
I also caught Sophie Scholl, nominated for Best foreign language film at the Oscars. The narrative dealt with the anti-nazi movement in Germany during WW2. It was heavy, but not fresh. It reminded me of the state of affairs today, and the differences from thence. For me, nothing beats Band of Brothers when it comes to movies or serials on WW2. Yeah, I am shallow. Toldja!
Speaking of shallow, I’d been exploring the youTubeverse lately, along with its bastard cousins Filecabi, google video, iFilm, Metacafe and DailyMotion etc.. Of course, all in my never-ending pursuit for quality porn, which was what the net was built for anyway. Use it like how its meant to be used. You don’t see me using a spanner to remove a screw.
I chanced upon the usual dreadgery of the net, from low quality fan-flicks to the pranks, the cheap skanks and the voyeur-catering performers. Once in awhile, I’d come across something that has a local feel, like this and I’d get curious, like WTF is this all about? Go take look. What do you make of it?
I read somewhere previously that youTube heralds the end of all things wonderful like TV and movies, and everything will be released on the net. While it is the most excellent method of distribution, it may not be the ideal avenue to fully appreciate most materials. Besides the fact that it’d take forever to download everything in high def and other technical issues, I do not have my youtubes projected onto IMAX screens, with dolby digital surround sound, popcorn dispensers just outside the door. Heck, I can’t even make my bedroom dark at night! And let’s not forget the quintessential noisy idiots sitting behind me with one too many opinions and a fucking mobile phone that has to ring in the middle of the most dramatic pauses,l this inspite of the fucking stupid ads (especially the Disney ones)that they screen prior to the show to tell every fuckwat to switch their fucking slave driving phones the FUCK OFF!
Hah, I’m actually listening to music from the 80’s while I type this out. Ahhh, electronica and heavy synthetic bass.
*Danger Zone – Kenny Loggins*
I never attended a national day celebration there. The closest thing to a national communal thingy was some soccer matches. I remember attending a Lions vs Pahang match, the ever deadly vendetta between provided for an electric atmosphere; and also when Newcastle came to visit, with Shearer stretching by the side, when they had just signed him on. We were so psyched up for him to hit the pitch, but he never did.
So the stadium is to go. In its place would be a sports complex. Out with the old, in with new, that’s the way cities move. An ever constantly changing organism; a sum of its constituents; a soul in flux. Love it. Change can’t come quick enough for me. I get bored easily.
So I went to fill my car with more global warming chemicals late at night on National Day. As I stopped at a junction, I turned to the left and saw this car parking, and a young fellow stepped out of it. He was wearing green coveralls adorned with many patches in the designs of our military insignias. And he was holding a Styrofoam box, walking with a clearly tired gait. He must’ve just performed for the entire nation, high up in the sky, after training for it for months prior, living with precise timings and synchronicity with his squadron. I saluted him in my heart, and remembered how I used to long to be in his shoes. Life would’ve been so different. I would’ve been so different. I’d actually be cool, and with a set goal in mind. Heck, I would’ve run for presidency at the end of that road. Hah!
Then I turned to my right and saw this bicycle go by. A guy was riding hard to move the bike up a gentle slope. The funny thing was that just behind him was a frame, and there was a lady in a white dress seated every so straightly, facing away from me. I could see her long black tresses which almost didn’t seem to move. I was bemused. Here was a classic image right out of a hongkong horror flick. I laughed, and secretly wished she didn’t turn around to show me her 15cm long tongue or empty eye sockets. Brrrr…..
I caught Lady in the Water the other day. I so do love M.Night Shymalan’s work. This time round, he didn’t have a cameo. He had an fucking starring role, which tanked. But I liked the show overall. While I profess to not fully appreciate the underlying allegory (failed literature in sec sch), I think he was talking about the war that the USA is engaged in. The war in the middle east, not the war on mutant grass escaping golf courses and invading the wilds (I’m serious, its true! The latter war, that is). What did you see in the film? I would like to know.
I also caught Sophie Scholl, nominated for Best foreign language film at the Oscars. The narrative dealt with the anti-nazi movement in Germany during WW2. It was heavy, but not fresh. It reminded me of the state of affairs today, and the differences from thence. For me, nothing beats Band of Brothers when it comes to movies or serials on WW2. Yeah, I am shallow. Toldja!
Speaking of shallow, I’d been exploring the youTubeverse lately, along with its bastard cousins Filecabi, google video, iFilm, Metacafe and DailyMotion etc.. Of course, all in my never-ending pursuit for quality porn, which was what the net was built for anyway. Use it like how its meant to be used. You don’t see me using a spanner to remove a screw.
I chanced upon the usual dreadgery of the net, from low quality fan-flicks to the pranks, the cheap skanks and the voyeur-catering performers. Once in awhile, I’d come across something that has a local feel, like this and I’d get curious, like WTF is this all about? Go take look. What do you make of it?
I read somewhere previously that youTube heralds the end of all things wonderful like TV and movies, and everything will be released on the net. While it is the most excellent method of distribution, it may not be the ideal avenue to fully appreciate most materials. Besides the fact that it’d take forever to download everything in high def and other technical issues, I do not have my youtubes projected onto IMAX screens, with dolby digital surround sound, popcorn dispensers just outside the door. Heck, I can’t even make my bedroom dark at night! And let’s not forget the quintessential noisy idiots sitting behind me with one too many opinions and a fucking mobile phone that has to ring in the middle of the most dramatic pauses,l this inspite of the fucking stupid ads (especially the Disney ones)that they screen prior to the show to tell every fuckwat to switch their fucking slave driving phones the FUCK OFF!
Friday, August 04, 2006
Inner Universe
*Somewhere Only We Know – Keane*
Being in your own world has its perks. You lose track of time and become a ghost within a shell, really embracing the standalone complex that technology like the net has afforded us and cocooning from all social contact. Much like leprosy, but only in reverse.
Are humans really social creatures? If we are, why do we deal out so much grief unto one another? Is this the epitome of socializing? Whatever happened to empathy? Whatever happened to our larger brains, our developed state of higher consciousness?
Apparently I didn’t get the job that I had wanted. Lost out to a nerd. Guess I was too expensive for them. I hope he fares well, and that the company goes on to greater success without me. Wish they had told me that I didn’t get it though. I didn’t get the news from the horse’s mouth. Does it speak of a lousy human resource department, or just plain bochup on the hirer’s part?
Anyway, after yet another rejection added to the overly long list in my life. Back to trading. I had to re-adjust, re-focus and re-finance. The mental battle was almost insurmountable. My father gave me a pep talk too, about not wasting my life away, and to get a job. It was a very tough conversation, being judged before the final bell, and having no support from the sides. However, I held on to my balls, and decided to give trading another shot before throwing in the blood-soaked towel. Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that. February, suddenly it doesn’t seem that far off now.
On the topic of throwing in the towel, a dear friend of mine just did, and decided to pick up his set of ball and chain. He is the same age as me, and has been saving up for his big day. He is plunging headlong into the abyss, to be forever locked in holy matrimony. I’m wishing him all the best, and that we should all be this lucky, to be certain at this age, irregardless of the million other factors that our fractured psyches seem to enjoy bringing to the fore.
My grandma celebrated her 83rd birthday the other week. That’s one heckuva long time to be on this planet. I cannot imagine the multitude of stories roaming about in her head, a treasure trove of secrets and deceits, chapters on the triumphs of the human condition, and volumes of miscellaneous experiences. If only I could record all that data for posterity. Interviewing her and collating all that into a book would only be bringing her realities through the unfocused filter of my myopic pen. Such is the tragedy of our fables. Each generation fucks them up with their own salts and peppers. Seasonings of falsehoods, they are.
I’ve yet to catch a single movie since Supes. I shall resign myself to my trusty WWW to scratch my movie-watching itch. Pirates, Fast and Furious, Thank you for smoking, and shitloads more. It’s the summer man, DAMN! Brain fodder.
*Save me – Remy Zero*
Been watching quite a few Tv serials though. Entourage, Lucky Louie, Kyle XY, Jericho, Top Gear, Fast Inc, Blood+ and Eureka. Good stuff all. The Truth, I prefer TV land to movies. Watch as the power in Hollywood transfers back to the small screen.
Being in your own world has its perks. You lose track of time and become a ghost within a shell, really embracing the standalone complex that technology like the net has afforded us and cocooning from all social contact. Much like leprosy, but only in reverse.
Are humans really social creatures? If we are, why do we deal out so much grief unto one another? Is this the epitome of socializing? Whatever happened to empathy? Whatever happened to our larger brains, our developed state of higher consciousness?
Apparently I didn’t get the job that I had wanted. Lost out to a nerd. Guess I was too expensive for them. I hope he fares well, and that the company goes on to greater success without me. Wish they had told me that I didn’t get it though. I didn’t get the news from the horse’s mouth. Does it speak of a lousy human resource department, or just plain bochup on the hirer’s part?
Anyway, after yet another rejection added to the overly long list in my life. Back to trading. I had to re-adjust, re-focus and re-finance. The mental battle was almost insurmountable. My father gave me a pep talk too, about not wasting my life away, and to get a job. It was a very tough conversation, being judged before the final bell, and having no support from the sides. However, I held on to my balls, and decided to give trading another shot before throwing in the blood-soaked towel. Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that. February, suddenly it doesn’t seem that far off now.
On the topic of throwing in the towel, a dear friend of mine just did, and decided to pick up his set of ball and chain. He is the same age as me, and has been saving up for his big day. He is plunging headlong into the abyss, to be forever locked in holy matrimony. I’m wishing him all the best, and that we should all be this lucky, to be certain at this age, irregardless of the million other factors that our fractured psyches seem to enjoy bringing to the fore.
My grandma celebrated her 83rd birthday the other week. That’s one heckuva long time to be on this planet. I cannot imagine the multitude of stories roaming about in her head, a treasure trove of secrets and deceits, chapters on the triumphs of the human condition, and volumes of miscellaneous experiences. If only I could record all that data for posterity. Interviewing her and collating all that into a book would only be bringing her realities through the unfocused filter of my myopic pen. Such is the tragedy of our fables. Each generation fucks them up with their own salts and peppers. Seasonings of falsehoods, they are.
I’ve yet to catch a single movie since Supes. I shall resign myself to my trusty WWW to scratch my movie-watching itch. Pirates, Fast and Furious, Thank you for smoking, and shitloads more. It’s the summer man, DAMN! Brain fodder.
*Save me – Remy Zero*
Been watching quite a few Tv serials though. Entourage, Lucky Louie, Kyle XY, Jericho, Top Gear, Fast Inc, Blood+ and Eureka. Good stuff all. The Truth, I prefer TV land to movies. Watch as the power in Hollywood transfers back to the small screen.
Thursday, July 20, 2006
Rantings of a Madman
Been thinking quite a bit while I’m traveling around our concrete jungle (luckily it strives to be a garden city). Been surprised by many sights on the roads, which is funny because I seldom notice much other than the overly-conscientious driver ahead of me.
************************************************************************
Just the other day, I saw some fresh road-kill. It was in the CBD area. A bird of some sort. Pigeon? At a traffic junction. WHAT THE FUCK WAS IT TRYING TO DO? Was it too tired? Was it just coming down for the next updraft to bring itself to soaring heights? Was it trying to cross the road, to get to the other side? When I say fresh, I mean its not exactly flattened yet. It was still pulpy, and pretty much 3-dimensional. I did pass it again later in the day. Not only was it still there, it was already 2-dimensional. Who cleans up road-kill anyway?
************************************************************************
I was heading home one morning, and the Morningstar was screaming into my optical receptors. I willed it away with my cerebral arrow, and it suddenly hid behind the bringers of silver linings. My world was plunged not into darkness (no, the apocalypse is still far off, and I’m not THAT evil), but into a world of sepia tones, the result of an un-reactive iris perhaps. The streams of the sun peeking through the livelihoods of trees that adorn the highway. Pastel brown tones on all colours, including the red Mercedes and purple BMWs. My life seemed like something out of a postcard, which got me wondering. What kind of card my life would be. A Get Well soon card? A Sorry card? What card would your life be?
************************************************************************
I overtook a Porsche Cayenne Turbo, driven by a hot babe (I think, my peripheral vision has been bad since I couldn’t help myself peeking at the magnesium ribbons that constantly appear in my life.) This incident has been added to the list of cars I’ve been overtaking this year with my Toyota Vios 1.5e(A). Others on the list include a Ferrari Modena and a Lamborghini Murcielago.
Shiok.
However, I’ve been noticing more KIAs overtaking me. Fuck……
************************************************************************
Last night, the moon made love to me. She lay on her back, arched ever so seductively, and her presence assailed every fibre of my being as I stared at her longingly. Then she hid behind the blankets in the sky, peeking cheekily ever so often. How I hated her teasing. I could snuff her out with my thumb, and yet she is so unreachable. So unattainable. And the worst thing was that I had to share her with everyone willing to take a look at her.
************************************************************************
Is it just me or is World War 3 almost upon us. All the signs are there for the impending doom that every cryptic doomsayer has foretold since the dawn of language. The hotbed of western society is ever erupting into deeper chaos and despair. Mother Earth has cried out in pain, and teared along the banks of Java. The markets too, tell a story of the everlasting night that is to come. Fires shell descend on screens across the world. Only the strong survive. Whittle out the weak and little. The time has come to defrag humankind.
Let the seeking arm of FATE begin its work! Let the TRUTH PrEVail!
************************************************************************
Just the other day, I saw some fresh road-kill. It was in the CBD area. A bird of some sort. Pigeon? At a traffic junction. WHAT THE FUCK WAS IT TRYING TO DO? Was it too tired? Was it just coming down for the next updraft to bring itself to soaring heights? Was it trying to cross the road, to get to the other side? When I say fresh, I mean its not exactly flattened yet. It was still pulpy, and pretty much 3-dimensional. I did pass it again later in the day. Not only was it still there, it was already 2-dimensional. Who cleans up road-kill anyway?
************************************************************************
I was heading home one morning, and the Morningstar was screaming into my optical receptors. I willed it away with my cerebral arrow, and it suddenly hid behind the bringers of silver linings. My world was plunged not into darkness (no, the apocalypse is still far off, and I’m not THAT evil), but into a world of sepia tones, the result of an un-reactive iris perhaps. The streams of the sun peeking through the livelihoods of trees that adorn the highway. Pastel brown tones on all colours, including the red Mercedes and purple BMWs. My life seemed like something out of a postcard, which got me wondering. What kind of card my life would be. A Get Well soon card? A Sorry card? What card would your life be?
************************************************************************
I overtook a Porsche Cayenne Turbo, driven by a hot babe (I think, my peripheral vision has been bad since I couldn’t help myself peeking at the magnesium ribbons that constantly appear in my life.) This incident has been added to the list of cars I’ve been overtaking this year with my Toyota Vios 1.5e(A). Others on the list include a Ferrari Modena and a Lamborghini Murcielago.
Shiok.
However, I’ve been noticing more KIAs overtaking me. Fuck……
************************************************************************
Last night, the moon made love to me. She lay on her back, arched ever so seductively, and her presence assailed every fibre of my being as I stared at her longingly. Then she hid behind the blankets in the sky, peeking cheekily ever so often. How I hated her teasing. I could snuff her out with my thumb, and yet she is so unreachable. So unattainable. And the worst thing was that I had to share her with everyone willing to take a look at her.
************************************************************************
Is it just me or is World War 3 almost upon us. All the signs are there for the impending doom that every cryptic doomsayer has foretold since the dawn of language. The hotbed of western society is ever erupting into deeper chaos and despair. Mother Earth has cried out in pain, and teared along the banks of Java. The markets too, tell a story of the everlasting night that is to come. Fires shell descend on screens across the world. Only the strong survive. Whittle out the weak and little. The time has come to defrag humankind.
Let the seeking arm of FATE begin its work! Let the TRUTH PrEVail!
Thursday, July 13, 2006
The Lifetime Between
Hooo hooo hooo hooo..... Breathe. Breathe. Get the oxygen in. Get the muscles pumped. You are ready. You are ready. Breathe. Breathe deep. You can do it. You can beat them. Its just 9 seconds. You are the best. Come on. Calm down. It'd be over in a flash. Hooo... Hooo..... breathe. They are cheering for you. All of them. All ten thousand pairs of eyes on you. Look around. Wave. Smile....
Yes, this is what you've been training for all year. All your life. Just this instance. Just the next minute, and you'd have lived your dream. This is what its all about. The final 100m. Breathe.... Breathe.... the start is coming soon. Get ready. Everyone is counting on you. Mom, little bro, your wife, or soon to be wife. Right after you get the gold. Yes. You need the money. She needs the money. No nervousness now. Feel the calm. Get in the zone. Keep all these thoughts out. Hoo.... Hooo..... breathe. Tip-toe. Stay frosty. Keep your muscles warm.
Move to the line. Do not have a false start. Keep your twitching in control. Soon, your muscles will be in full burn. They will explode and you will not feel the ache. You will be the fastest. You are the man. Yes you are. Fingers and knuckles down. Legs in. Bend and flex your knees. Yes. Breathe. That's it. Look at the others. Nervous. They are fearful of you. You and your smile. Killer grin. They are putty in your hands. They will be in your wake. You are in the centre lane. Look up. The finishing line is there. Right across, ready for the taking. Hooo.... Hooo.... Breathe.... Sweaty palms. Its fine. You can do it. Pay attention. Hear the angels sing. Feel the beat of your pounding heart. Here comes the gun.
Last gasp. No turning back now. Only forward. This is it. Since high school. Since college. This is what you were born to do. This is your destiny. Have a last look down. You are a catapult. Your muscles will not fail you. They are primed and ready. They are taut, ready to spring. At the sound. Wait for it. Hear it the instant its uttered. Its waiting for you too. To come together. The symphony of you. The beauty of the dash. All the elements are here now, together. Right now. Breathe. Look up. Ready…… Steady……. GO!
Move Move MOVE! Come ON! Blast forward. Jerk. Swing your arms. Swing them. Stretch forward. Reach. Burst. Go Go Go! Shit, the guy on the right is actually good. I can see him by the corner. No worries. That was a good start. The finish is running up to me. Just 8 more seconds.
Dash Dash dash! The ground is disappearing below you. Behind you. The rest flying up to meet your feet. Your spikes eating into their soul, chewing up the distance between. There is nothing between you and your goal. Nothing can beat you. 7 seconds. Wasn’t that a song once? Move move move!
Feel it. Feel the wind. Feel the air whizzing by. Feel your feet sliding each other. Feel your arms in mechanical excellence. Feel your lungs in maximum capacity. Feel your wings flap. Feel it, the victory. The ultimate goal. 6 seconds.
Concentrate! There is only the now. There is no tomorrow. Open your legs wider. Further. Faster. Stronger. Explosive force. Kill your legs. Feel the momentum. Embrace the cheer. Feel the love. Earn it. Fly fly fly! 5 seconds. Soon.
Wait, what is that by the finish line. At the edge of my tunnel vision. Something in a black drape. His head is turning. No, focus. You are almost there. The Olympic gold is in sight. You are the fastest man in the world. Smile. 4 seconds.
There is something about this figure. Can’t take my eyes off him. Oh my god, Its looking right at me! Jesus Christ! Focus, straightahead. You are imagining things. Speed! To the finish. Mother fuck! Damn, the heart is pounding. 3 seconds.
FUCK! My chest just exploded! What the fuck is happening? Endure the pain. It will pass. The fucking finish line is just in front. Reach for it. Bend forward. Ignore the pain. My god, the pain! ARGH! Finish the fucking race, you coward! BREATHE! 2 seconds.
NO! Something’s wrong. The ground is coming up at me. Why?! NO! Finish the race. Finish it. So close. Hold back the pain. Hold back the light. That damn bright light. You can do it. Breathe. ARGH! Bear it. You are an Olympian. There it is, the last 5 metres.
Here I go. Lean forward, and cross the line. I’m so tired. Lie down. My chest! Where am I? Ah yes, the finish. I am at the end. At last. My god, the pain, its unbearable. I’m dying, I think. Never mind. I’ve done it. I’ve won. Its all that matters. I have it. The gold. I’m the fastest man… alive.
Yes, this is what you've been training for all year. All your life. Just this instance. Just the next minute, and you'd have lived your dream. This is what its all about. The final 100m. Breathe.... Breathe.... the start is coming soon. Get ready. Everyone is counting on you. Mom, little bro, your wife, or soon to be wife. Right after you get the gold. Yes. You need the money. She needs the money. No nervousness now. Feel the calm. Get in the zone. Keep all these thoughts out. Hoo.... Hooo..... breathe. Tip-toe. Stay frosty. Keep your muscles warm.
Move to the line. Do not have a false start. Keep your twitching in control. Soon, your muscles will be in full burn. They will explode and you will not feel the ache. You will be the fastest. You are the man. Yes you are. Fingers and knuckles down. Legs in. Bend and flex your knees. Yes. Breathe. That's it. Look at the others. Nervous. They are fearful of you. You and your smile. Killer grin. They are putty in your hands. They will be in your wake. You are in the centre lane. Look up. The finishing line is there. Right across, ready for the taking. Hooo.... Hooo.... Breathe.... Sweaty palms. Its fine. You can do it. Pay attention. Hear the angels sing. Feel the beat of your pounding heart. Here comes the gun.
Last gasp. No turning back now. Only forward. This is it. Since high school. Since college. This is what you were born to do. This is your destiny. Have a last look down. You are a catapult. Your muscles will not fail you. They are primed and ready. They are taut, ready to spring. At the sound. Wait for it. Hear it the instant its uttered. Its waiting for you too. To come together. The symphony of you. The beauty of the dash. All the elements are here now, together. Right now. Breathe. Look up. Ready…… Steady……. GO!
Move Move MOVE! Come ON! Blast forward. Jerk. Swing your arms. Swing them. Stretch forward. Reach. Burst. Go Go Go! Shit, the guy on the right is actually good. I can see him by the corner. No worries. That was a good start. The finish is running up to me. Just 8 more seconds.
Dash Dash dash! The ground is disappearing below you. Behind you. The rest flying up to meet your feet. Your spikes eating into their soul, chewing up the distance between. There is nothing between you and your goal. Nothing can beat you. 7 seconds. Wasn’t that a song once? Move move move!
Feel it. Feel the wind. Feel the air whizzing by. Feel your feet sliding each other. Feel your arms in mechanical excellence. Feel your lungs in maximum capacity. Feel your wings flap. Feel it, the victory. The ultimate goal. 6 seconds.
Concentrate! There is only the now. There is no tomorrow. Open your legs wider. Further. Faster. Stronger. Explosive force. Kill your legs. Feel the momentum. Embrace the cheer. Feel the love. Earn it. Fly fly fly! 5 seconds. Soon.
Wait, what is that by the finish line. At the edge of my tunnel vision. Something in a black drape. His head is turning. No, focus. You are almost there. The Olympic gold is in sight. You are the fastest man in the world. Smile. 4 seconds.
There is something about this figure. Can’t take my eyes off him. Oh my god, Its looking right at me! Jesus Christ! Focus, straightahead. You are imagining things. Speed! To the finish. Mother fuck! Damn, the heart is pounding. 3 seconds.
FUCK! My chest just exploded! What the fuck is happening? Endure the pain. It will pass. The fucking finish line is just in front. Reach for it. Bend forward. Ignore the pain. My god, the pain! ARGH! Finish the fucking race, you coward! BREATHE! 2 seconds.
NO! Something’s wrong. The ground is coming up at me. Why?! NO! Finish the race. Finish it. So close. Hold back the pain. Hold back the light. That damn bright light. You can do it. Breathe. ARGH! Bear it. You are an Olympian. There it is, the last 5 metres.
Here I go. Lean forward, and cross the line. I’m so tired. Lie down. My chest! Where am I? Ah yes, the finish. I am at the end. At last. My god, the pain, its unbearable. I’m dying, I think. Never mind. I’ve done it. I’ve won. Its all that matters. I have it. The gold. I’m the fastest man… alive.
Thursday, July 06, 2006
State of My World Address
In a deeper funk, I've never been in. Its not like I've been depressed, but rather, a loss of direction in the day to day functions of my bodily existence. My mind wanders aimlessly down the corridors of sane consciousness. Could somebody please pull me up by the hook or stick a needle into my inner voodoo.
So I'd been delving into the tactile and mind-fucking experiences that my sordid life has to offer. Besides the aforementioned porn experiment with google adsense(which failed miserably), I'd also tried my hands at other experiments, like trying to see how fast I can get a pot-belly (pretty easy, this one. Just keep eating, and how joyous it is, shoving sinful crap into my oral-fice), how much sleep I can have on a given afternoon (result: practically the entire afternoon, given the right temperature and ambient luminosity levels), and resorting my voluminous comic collection (which gives me great nerdy joy pronto every time, like seeing a complete list of gobbledygook having been sorted by bucket sort or even Microsoft Excel).
Well, I suppose one of the reasons for my lack of direction is because once again, I'm at a crossroad. While I have decided which fork to take, the impetus is in another's hands. I’d already gone for the pre-requisite interviews, and am now a puppet waiting for others to pull (or snip) the strings. This state of limbo distresses me greatly, and thus the incessant ingestion of over-the-head yummy goodness, from granola to cornflakes, noodles to chips, ice-cream to chocolate, cheese to salads. While these may look healthy individually, let’s put it into perspective. I had them all on the same day. Within a 12 hour period. With neither a break nor an exercise regiment in between. How soon before I lose the luxury of seeing my toes when I stand straight (which is the test of whether you’ve a pot belly or not)?
So this past week, I had been paper trading again. Can’t lose the passion, or the drive, and attraction of fast wins and amazing losses. This pull to take risk is really a genetic trait that I cannot overcome. I’d jump out of a plane, or go on a killer roller coaster ride any day, over a massage or even a shopping spree, much as I love to shop. I almost traded today, and the truth is that I should have. I gave my broker an order to execute, which wasn’t followed through. Then the theories that I had learnt contradicted my previous order, which was still valid and was awaiting execution again. My broker advised me to go with the theory also. I cancelled my order, and waited for the conditions of the theory to be more exact before enacting.
Then the market laughed in my face, hit my initial order’s conditions, and ran away, all the way to the bank that I failed to open an account in.
I could’ve made 2000 bucks today. And that pretty much is in the same vein of the entire week. Coulda woulda shoulda. Hindsight is 20/20. Does anyone make contact lenses for Life?
The news has been depressing lately. Israel and Palestinian conflicts are on the rise again, over the capture of an Israeli soldier. Constant attacks on Gaza, hitting on their infrastructure by helicopter gunships, and rocket retaliation from the militia injuring inncent bystanders, really became numbing as the week wore on. There has to be an agenda going on. Perhaps it is to draw attention to the ineptitude of the new Palestinian authority to control its citizen army. I mean, why hasn’t the Mossad just gone in and get the Lance Corporal out? SHEESH. Easy Peasy to them.
And of course good old spoilt lil’ Kim decided to fire off his phallic symbols into the sea. One even of sizable proportions that fizzled out 40 secs into its performance. Not even a 1-min man, it seems. Empty threats that got everyone’s panties in a knot. Can’t we all just invade and get all those starving children out of there?
The World Cup trudges on. At this point, we are left with 2 matches, for the finals and the fight for the 3rd placing. I’d only gotten into the action in the semi-finals. All the action before was just too boring. I hope France wins. Thierry Henry, I like. The Italians just look too damn scruffy for my taste. But then again, football is a ruffian’s game. And chicks dig Italians. Must be due to the fact that they do not understand what the guys are saying, hence they cannot say anything wrong to piss them off.
The Truth? Master your Destiny. Follow your course. Everything happens for a reason. Question those reasons constantly.
This has been your voice of despair. Weep openly.
So I'd been delving into the tactile and mind-fucking experiences that my sordid life has to offer. Besides the aforementioned porn experiment with google adsense(which failed miserably), I'd also tried my hands at other experiments, like trying to see how fast I can get a pot-belly (pretty easy, this one. Just keep eating, and how joyous it is, shoving sinful crap into my oral-fice), how much sleep I can have on a given afternoon (result: practically the entire afternoon, given the right temperature and ambient luminosity levels), and resorting my voluminous comic collection (which gives me great nerdy joy pronto every time, like seeing a complete list of gobbledygook having been sorted by bucket sort or even Microsoft Excel).
Well, I suppose one of the reasons for my lack of direction is because once again, I'm at a crossroad. While I have decided which fork to take, the impetus is in another's hands. I’d already gone for the pre-requisite interviews, and am now a puppet waiting for others to pull (or snip) the strings. This state of limbo distresses me greatly, and thus the incessant ingestion of over-the-head yummy goodness, from granola to cornflakes, noodles to chips, ice-cream to chocolate, cheese to salads. While these may look healthy individually, let’s put it into perspective. I had them all on the same day. Within a 12 hour period. With neither a break nor an exercise regiment in between. How soon before I lose the luxury of seeing my toes when I stand straight (which is the test of whether you’ve a pot belly or not)?
So this past week, I had been paper trading again. Can’t lose the passion, or the drive, and attraction of fast wins and amazing losses. This pull to take risk is really a genetic trait that I cannot overcome. I’d jump out of a plane, or go on a killer roller coaster ride any day, over a massage or even a shopping spree, much as I love to shop. I almost traded today, and the truth is that I should have. I gave my broker an order to execute, which wasn’t followed through. Then the theories that I had learnt contradicted my previous order, which was still valid and was awaiting execution again. My broker advised me to go with the theory also. I cancelled my order, and waited for the conditions of the theory to be more exact before enacting.
Then the market laughed in my face, hit my initial order’s conditions, and ran away, all the way to the bank that I failed to open an account in.
I could’ve made 2000 bucks today. And that pretty much is in the same vein of the entire week. Coulda woulda shoulda. Hindsight is 20/20. Does anyone make contact lenses for Life?
The news has been depressing lately. Israel and Palestinian conflicts are on the rise again, over the capture of an Israeli soldier. Constant attacks on Gaza, hitting on their infrastructure by helicopter gunships, and rocket retaliation from the militia injuring inncent bystanders, really became numbing as the week wore on. There has to be an agenda going on. Perhaps it is to draw attention to the ineptitude of the new Palestinian authority to control its citizen army. I mean, why hasn’t the Mossad just gone in and get the Lance Corporal out? SHEESH. Easy Peasy to them.
And of course good old spoilt lil’ Kim decided to fire off his phallic symbols into the sea. One even of sizable proportions that fizzled out 40 secs into its performance. Not even a 1-min man, it seems. Empty threats that got everyone’s panties in a knot. Can’t we all just invade and get all those starving children out of there?
The World Cup trudges on. At this point, we are left with 2 matches, for the finals and the fight for the 3rd placing. I’d only gotten into the action in the semi-finals. All the action before was just too boring. I hope France wins. Thierry Henry, I like. The Italians just look too damn scruffy for my taste. But then again, football is a ruffian’s game. And chicks dig Italians. Must be due to the fact that they do not understand what the guys are saying, hence they cannot say anything wrong to piss them off.
The Truth? Master your Destiny. Follow your course. Everything happens for a reason. Question those reasons constantly.
This has been your voice of despair. Weep openly.
Friday, June 30, 2006
Friday, June 23, 2006
Lifestyles of the Lazy and Indulgent
Haven't been doing too much lately. Gaining the pounds like Arnold at the onset of puberty, only the mass is of a different density. Mine's a little more huggable. And they congregate beautifully at my abdomen, and form a support function while i bend over the table while I type, click, ogle and absorb the world through the cynical minds of others. My only gripe are the lines they form, which are only visible when I stand up and look in the mirror. Wonderfully deep, long-lasting lines to show where my body folded while my spine lost its perfect lumbar poise.
Been hitting the sack a whole lot more too, and during the day. Yeah, sucks to those who can't. But then again, I should enjoy it while it lasts. Hopefully it won't be long now before I start dressing up, looking good and waltz around Raffles Place during office hours, hahahaa!
Anyway, 1 piece of advice. Try not to nap under the sun, or intense light. I've got a theory. I seem to get the most fucked up dreams that money can't buy when I sleep under such conditions. It happened to me twice just yesterday. The first was a 20 min short nap, but I felt
like I had 10 short nightmares in that timespan. And they were trippy. I was in those side-scrolling game environments, from the Sega days, like Mickey's journey into Castle Transylvania,
or Sonic the Hedgehog, that kinda game. And the games were always those "scarier" types, like
with zombies, monsters and freaks who wanna screw you in the ass. And eventhough I know its only a game, and I can kill them by throwing apples that do not get affected by projectile motion or gravity, I still felt the fear, and anxiety, and that I had to run faster, swing further, catch the other fucking vine else I'd perish below the television-scape, and of course, throw them apples.
Not trippy enough?
I had another dream later in the day, or rather, evening. I know, not as bright, but i still had my room lights on. And one of my bulbs have started buzzing, damn motherfucker. If only i had the impetus to get the ladder and unscrew that irritating bulb. Anyways, this second dream took 3 hours, and all i did was surf around (like Silver Surfer) on a mirror about the size of a hobo's house, in a dark and dank carpark, which had a shit load of ramps, humps, old cadillacs, blinking lamps, and one heckuva view from its roof. The skies were post apocalyptic, stormy with lightning, windy and super dark clouds blowing in. The ceilings were always leaking and I was always fleeing from some asshole, always running(surfing) on my mirror, and I'd always worry that it'd crack when I'm descending the ramps. Cos once it breaks, I'd have to actually use my legs and run.
Maybe that would have done my new weight some good. But man, my mind is fucked.
And in the mornings, i can't remember any dreams i had during the proper sleeping hours. must've been good dreams. bloody selfish subconscious.
Been baking some brownies with my lil' bro's new oven. Quite fun. Eating them that is. Finally found the formula of converting farenheit to celsius. it is minus 32, then divide by 9 then multiply by 5. Commit it to memory, and appear cool with the chicks who give a flying fuck.
Hmm... a flying fuck......
Been paper trading. making good paper money. sonuvabitch.
Roller bladed the other day, after 2 years. Didn't fall, but moved like a pussy. Legs like a virgin. Gotta get my own skates back. Somebody remind me, please.
Been "watching" the world cup. Making good money in that too. inconsequential, but good fun. Can't be left behind by the other 3 billion people tuning in. Gotta keep my finger on the pulse.
I want Spain to win. I don't care.
outta here. this post sucks.
Been hitting the sack a whole lot more too, and during the day. Yeah, sucks to those who can't. But then again, I should enjoy it while it lasts. Hopefully it won't be long now before I start dressing up, looking good and waltz around Raffles Place during office hours, hahahaa!
Anyway, 1 piece of advice. Try not to nap under the sun, or intense light. I've got a theory. I seem to get the most fucked up dreams that money can't buy when I sleep under such conditions. It happened to me twice just yesterday. The first was a 20 min short nap, but I felt
like I had 10 short nightmares in that timespan. And they were trippy. I was in those side-scrolling game environments, from the Sega days, like Mickey's journey into Castle Transylvania,
or Sonic the Hedgehog, that kinda game. And the games were always those "scarier" types, like
with zombies, monsters and freaks who wanna screw you in the ass. And eventhough I know its only a game, and I can kill them by throwing apples that do not get affected by projectile motion or gravity, I still felt the fear, and anxiety, and that I had to run faster, swing further, catch the other fucking vine else I'd perish below the television-scape, and of course, throw them apples.
Not trippy enough?
I had another dream later in the day, or rather, evening. I know, not as bright, but i still had my room lights on. And one of my bulbs have started buzzing, damn motherfucker. If only i had the impetus to get the ladder and unscrew that irritating bulb. Anyways, this second dream took 3 hours, and all i did was surf around (like Silver Surfer) on a mirror about the size of a hobo's house, in a dark and dank carpark, which had a shit load of ramps, humps, old cadillacs, blinking lamps, and one heckuva view from its roof. The skies were post apocalyptic, stormy with lightning, windy and super dark clouds blowing in. The ceilings were always leaking and I was always fleeing from some asshole, always running(surfing) on my mirror, and I'd always worry that it'd crack when I'm descending the ramps. Cos once it breaks, I'd have to actually use my legs and run.
Maybe that would have done my new weight some good. But man, my mind is fucked.
And in the mornings, i can't remember any dreams i had during the proper sleeping hours. must've been good dreams. bloody selfish subconscious.
Been baking some brownies with my lil' bro's new oven. Quite fun. Eating them that is. Finally found the formula of converting farenheit to celsius. it is minus 32, then divide by 9 then multiply by 5. Commit it to memory, and appear cool with the chicks who give a flying fuck.
Hmm... a flying fuck......
Been paper trading. making good paper money. sonuvabitch.
Roller bladed the other day, after 2 years. Didn't fall, but moved like a pussy. Legs like a virgin. Gotta get my own skates back. Somebody remind me, please.
Been "watching" the world cup. Making good money in that too. inconsequential, but good fun. Can't be left behind by the other 3 billion people tuning in. Gotta keep my finger on the pulse.
I want Spain to win. I don't care.
outta here. this post sucks.
Shorts: The First
“I can’t go to sleep, Dad. Tell me a story. Tell me of the war.”
“I’m tired, Son. Go to sleep.”
“But please, Dad. Just a short bit. Tell me what you did in the war, and what happened thereafter. Just a little? “
“Oh all right. Get comfortable. Here, put your head on my lap. It was a long time ago, when I was not much older than you are now. It happened in the year 2027……”
************************************************************************
The bombs were launched a little after midnight, and balls of fire poured down from the heavens over New York, Washington and all major cities in the North-East. They said it was the North Koreans, but we’d never know the truth, even to this day. There were rumours that it was the Americans themselves whom that war started that day.
The skyscrapers, parks, national monuments and hundreds of suburbs were wiped out in an instant. Hundreds of thousands died in the first few seconds, and many more wished they did. The economy crumbled as Wall Street was destroyed, and started the domino effect that crashed every developed nation’s economy. Amidst the chaos that ensued, local militias in the south, the South American armies and drug cartels, terrorist cells and gangs of all ethnicities began their quick descent on the meek and the weak. The government forces in their compromised state were spread thin across their own nation. The entire country fell into anarchy.
As such, the United Nations relocated to our tiny island, here in the southernmost tip of the Eurasian continent. They saw a vibrant community with an excellent infrastructure and spotless governance over its people. By 2030, the world was back on its feet, minus the misbegotten empire that was The United States of America. Only the British, in their misguided attempt to cling to worlds past, tried in vain to help the once proud nation.
The tiny island grew in power and stature, and it wasn’t long before it was deemed unnecessary to think of itself as separate from the United Nations, which was giving the entire nation its economy by gravitating multinational corporations and itself requiring an army of industry to feed its voracious appetites. The island gave up its national identity and assimilated itself into the global association. Its armies, treasuries, influence and people were united in this action, and in essence became servants to the global community.
The S.E.A. war began in 2038. The demand on the lands on the island was just not sustainable. The surrounding nations, in fear of being invaded, decided to attack first, to attain first blood. Naturally they were pushed back, and then the real invasion plans were put into action, since the island, and the United Nations now had the reasons to. It lasted only 1 year. With surgical precision and minimal global involvement, the island became a region.
************************************************************************
“I was a mere tank commander, supporting the troops to gain footholds in villages and cities that had been their defenses pulverized by our warships and air might. It was relatively easy. The people were welcoming. It was the governments that tried to hold on.
Are you still listening, son? Son? Huh, guess not. These old stories are as interesting as a stray cat. Ah. How I miss my glory days. Before the Amalgams came to the fore.”
“I’m tired, Son. Go to sleep.”
“But please, Dad. Just a short bit. Tell me what you did in the war, and what happened thereafter. Just a little? “
“Oh all right. Get comfortable. Here, put your head on my lap. It was a long time ago, when I was not much older than you are now. It happened in the year 2027……”
************************************************************************
The bombs were launched a little after midnight, and balls of fire poured down from the heavens over New York, Washington and all major cities in the North-East. They said it was the North Koreans, but we’d never know the truth, even to this day. There were rumours that it was the Americans themselves whom that war started that day.
The skyscrapers, parks, national monuments and hundreds of suburbs were wiped out in an instant. Hundreds of thousands died in the first few seconds, and many more wished they did. The economy crumbled as Wall Street was destroyed, and started the domino effect that crashed every developed nation’s economy. Amidst the chaos that ensued, local militias in the south, the South American armies and drug cartels, terrorist cells and gangs of all ethnicities began their quick descent on the meek and the weak. The government forces in their compromised state were spread thin across their own nation. The entire country fell into anarchy.
As such, the United Nations relocated to our tiny island, here in the southernmost tip of the Eurasian continent. They saw a vibrant community with an excellent infrastructure and spotless governance over its people. By 2030, the world was back on its feet, minus the misbegotten empire that was The United States of America. Only the British, in their misguided attempt to cling to worlds past, tried in vain to help the once proud nation.
The tiny island grew in power and stature, and it wasn’t long before it was deemed unnecessary to think of itself as separate from the United Nations, which was giving the entire nation its economy by gravitating multinational corporations and itself requiring an army of industry to feed its voracious appetites. The island gave up its national identity and assimilated itself into the global association. Its armies, treasuries, influence and people were united in this action, and in essence became servants to the global community.
The S.E.A. war began in 2038. The demand on the lands on the island was just not sustainable. The surrounding nations, in fear of being invaded, decided to attack first, to attain first blood. Naturally they were pushed back, and then the real invasion plans were put into action, since the island, and the United Nations now had the reasons to. It lasted only 1 year. With surgical precision and minimal global involvement, the island became a region.
************************************************************************
“I was a mere tank commander, supporting the troops to gain footholds in villages and cities that had been their defenses pulverized by our warships and air might. It was relatively easy. The people were welcoming. It was the governments that tried to hold on.
Are you still listening, son? Son? Huh, guess not. These old stories are as interesting as a stray cat. Ah. How I miss my glory days. Before the Amalgams came to the fore.”
Friday, June 16, 2006
How the Hell?!
Have you ever gone into the kitchen from your bedroom, and then forget why you went there to begin with? You ever wiped your arse, then take another wipe cause you can’t remember whether the last wipe was really clean? Ever lathered your hair with soap, and your body with shampoo? Ever brushed your teeth with someone else’s toothbrush by mistake? Ever gone into a warzone dressed as a bulls-eye target?
This very morning, I decided to pump petrol as it was bright and early, and the air misted with fresh dewdrops from heaven. I eased my car into the lot at the SPC station along Siglap Road, and gave my order to the pump attendant.
Immediately, I felt something was amiss. There was a certain lack of warmth, almost bordering on hostility. I couldn't quite put my finger on it. I attributed it to the early hours, and left it at that. It must’ve been quite a long shift for the uncle there.
I entered the shop and browsed, knowing full well roughly how long the tank took to fill up. I also needed some car wash solution. I walked through every isle, flipped through the magazine rack and analysed the varied items on the car products shelf.
I finally queue up for payment, and the cashier almost growls at me as I pass her my purchases and gives her my pump number. I was amused at all the unhappiness emanating from all the staff at the site. Its almost as if the big boss had just screwed them or something. I made my payments, and happily returned to the car. I even waved a note of thanks to the uncle as I got in. He grudgingly returned the motion.
As bemused as I was, I left the station feeling a little shortchanged. For all the positivity that I gave off, I didn’t even get a single smile in return? Then I pondered as to why I’m so chirpy this fine morning. Perhaps it was the fine breakfast I was then going to have once I reach home, or just the cool weather and friendly sun, or the bright blue Shell polo t-shirt I have on, the one I got from my previous job, the one that said Shell fuels are better as they give better mileage, the very Shell fuel that wasn’t being pumped into my car……….
No fucking wonder!!!!
I laughed my ass all the way home. It was so ridiculous. And then I remember how smug I was the whole time I was there. Hilarious.
The Truth? I screwed up, by not being fully aware of myself and my surroundings. It is alarming that I didn’t notice. Have I gotten to that stage where things in my face may not occur to me to be there?
Worrying, truly worrying.
When was the last time you did something like that?
This very morning, I decided to pump petrol as it was bright and early, and the air misted with fresh dewdrops from heaven. I eased my car into the lot at the SPC station along Siglap Road, and gave my order to the pump attendant.
Immediately, I felt something was amiss. There was a certain lack of warmth, almost bordering on hostility. I couldn't quite put my finger on it. I attributed it to the early hours, and left it at that. It must’ve been quite a long shift for the uncle there.
I entered the shop and browsed, knowing full well roughly how long the tank took to fill up. I also needed some car wash solution. I walked through every isle, flipped through the magazine rack and analysed the varied items on the car products shelf.
I finally queue up for payment, and the cashier almost growls at me as I pass her my purchases and gives her my pump number. I was amused at all the unhappiness emanating from all the staff at the site. Its almost as if the big boss had just screwed them or something. I made my payments, and happily returned to the car. I even waved a note of thanks to the uncle as I got in. He grudgingly returned the motion.
As bemused as I was, I left the station feeling a little shortchanged. For all the positivity that I gave off, I didn’t even get a single smile in return? Then I pondered as to why I’m so chirpy this fine morning. Perhaps it was the fine breakfast I was then going to have once I reach home, or just the cool weather and friendly sun, or the bright blue Shell polo t-shirt I have on, the one I got from my previous job, the one that said Shell fuels are better as they give better mileage, the very Shell fuel that wasn’t being pumped into my car……….
No fucking wonder!!!!
I laughed my ass all the way home. It was so ridiculous. And then I remember how smug I was the whole time I was there. Hilarious.
The Truth? I screwed up, by not being fully aware of myself and my surroundings. It is alarming that I didn’t notice. Have I gotten to that stage where things in my face may not occur to me to be there?
Worrying, truly worrying.
When was the last time you did something like that?
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
*Wing*Wing* Blogging to the soundtrack of life
Currently playing: "Bicycle Race"
In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.
Somehow this exquisite piece of common sense had been bouncing in my head this morning. I suppose it pertains to my getting through the 1st interview on Monday (Thank you thank you, *politician-styled wave*). Sure it felt great, getting through that round. Then the anxiety attacks came, as the follow up sessions are just next week. NEXT WEEK!!! HOLY SHIT!
Currently playing: "Under Pressure"
But then news started trickling in. I‘ve got my sources. I’ve got intelligence. I’ve got the inside track. And while the news gave me strength, it may also lead to my folly, from overconfidence. Complacency has been my greatest vice since time immemorial; my misguided optimism coming in at a close 2nd.
Currently playing: "Bohemian Rhapsody"
It reminded me of trading. Overconfidence leads to complacency, which in turn causes overly aggressive risk-taking to arise and finally, the big fall from grace. Oh the pain of such mistakes will sting your soul. Its like the guilt from not studying for an easy exam. Such a waste.
Currently playing: "Another One Bites The Dust"
I’m actually looking forward to starting on this job, much as a surprise as that may be to you (uhhum, I write for YOU, my audience. I don’t just bitch for the sake of bitching, but rather to educate and share, and to force my existence onto any who stumbles unto this little binary facade). The interviewer was cool, giving me more meat to the job description. Apparently if I am selected, I would be working on a large project for the next 6 months, on top of other things. That just excited me to no end. I have no idea why. But upon further reflection, I think I’d discovered THE REASON.
Currently playing: "Heaven For Everyone"
I am actually quite lost, in terms of direction in life. For all those recently tuning in, my life had taken quite a few bumps just this year, derailing most of my best-laid plans which were formulated quite a while back. Of course, being a resilient and effervescent member of this concept called humanity, I have to balance and mange whatever curveballs life, the fates and all other gods decide to throw my way. Rolling with the punches and getting up to return two uppercuts, that’s the way to go.
Currently playing: "The Show Must Go On"
And therefore, getting this job would mean quite a bit. In fact, it would realign my destiny with another plan I had made even earlier than the last, when my mind was less cluttered by Ponzi schemes and the like, a simpler path that nevertheless would eventually lead me to my goal(s). It may actually be one that is smoother, without the bottomless crevices by the sides, awaiting for me to slip up on the wet, glistening moss, like the gaping maw of a megalodon , yearning for my loss of balance. I believe I set that for myself 15 years ago. And they say kids say the truest things. I was a smart kid.
Currently playing: "We Are the Champions"
So I am not going to take things for granted anymore. I really have to work for what I want in life, and not to just wait for things to fall into my lap. My luck will eventually run out sometime, much as its my namesake, and things seem to work out for me thus far. I went through my book of goals recently , and discovered that I haven’t met any of my short term ones, save for passing my IPPT. Pathetic really.
Currently playing: "We Will Rock You"
Thus, for next week’s round 2, I have started reading up on the relevant topics. Let’s see if I’m just talking the talk and not walking the walk. I hope that putting it out here would push me to strive further and faster too. Afterall, I have to start living up to the expectations of you 3 once again, my loving audience.
Currently playing: "Who Wants To Live Forever"
In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.
Somehow this exquisite piece of common sense had been bouncing in my head this morning. I suppose it pertains to my getting through the 1st interview on Monday (Thank you thank you, *politician-styled wave*). Sure it felt great, getting through that round. Then the anxiety attacks came, as the follow up sessions are just next week. NEXT WEEK!!! HOLY SHIT!
Currently playing: "Under Pressure"
But then news started trickling in. I‘ve got my sources. I’ve got intelligence. I’ve got the inside track. And while the news gave me strength, it may also lead to my folly, from overconfidence. Complacency has been my greatest vice since time immemorial; my misguided optimism coming in at a close 2nd.
Currently playing: "Bohemian Rhapsody"
It reminded me of trading. Overconfidence leads to complacency, which in turn causes overly aggressive risk-taking to arise and finally, the big fall from grace. Oh the pain of such mistakes will sting your soul. Its like the guilt from not studying for an easy exam. Such a waste.
Currently playing: "Another One Bites The Dust"
I’m actually looking forward to starting on this job, much as a surprise as that may be to you (uhhum, I write for YOU, my audience. I don’t just bitch for the sake of bitching, but rather to educate and share, and to force my existence onto any who stumbles unto this little binary facade). The interviewer was cool, giving me more meat to the job description. Apparently if I am selected, I would be working on a large project for the next 6 months, on top of other things. That just excited me to no end. I have no idea why. But upon further reflection, I think I’d discovered THE REASON.
Currently playing: "Heaven For Everyone"
I am actually quite lost, in terms of direction in life. For all those recently tuning in, my life had taken quite a few bumps just this year, derailing most of my best-laid plans which were formulated quite a while back. Of course, being a resilient and effervescent member of this concept called humanity, I have to balance and mange whatever curveballs life, the fates and all other gods decide to throw my way. Rolling with the punches and getting up to return two uppercuts, that’s the way to go.
Currently playing: "The Show Must Go On"
And therefore, getting this job would mean quite a bit. In fact, it would realign my destiny with another plan I had made even earlier than the last, when my mind was less cluttered by Ponzi schemes and the like, a simpler path that nevertheless would eventually lead me to my goal(s). It may actually be one that is smoother, without the bottomless crevices by the sides, awaiting for me to slip up on the wet, glistening moss, like the gaping maw of a megalodon , yearning for my loss of balance. I believe I set that for myself 15 years ago. And they say kids say the truest things. I was a smart kid.
Currently playing: "We Are the Champions"
So I am not going to take things for granted anymore. I really have to work for what I want in life, and not to just wait for things to fall into my lap. My luck will eventually run out sometime, much as its my namesake, and things seem to work out for me thus far. I went through my book of goals recently , and discovered that I haven’t met any of my short term ones, save for passing my IPPT. Pathetic really.
Currently playing: "We Will Rock You"
Thus, for next week’s round 2, I have started reading up on the relevant topics. Let’s see if I’m just talking the talk and not walking the walk. I hope that putting it out here would push me to strive further and faster too. Afterall, I have to start living up to the expectations of you 3 once again, my loving audience.
Currently playing: "Who Wants To Live Forever"
Monday, June 12, 2006
A quick update for the dying
Today is June 12th.
Fuck. Get ready for a ramble.
Just had an interview a while ago. This morning. Why? Why am I heading back to work for another? For others? Simple reason. I screwed up. Big time.
(Shit, I ‘m speaking as if I’d already gotten the job. I’d soon know though, by the end of today.)
I’d lost most of my trading capital earlier last week, and the final nail on the coffin was hammered in on 6/6/06. Yes, how apt. The Morningstar shoved his fiery pitch fork up my ass for sure. Delightfully, gleefully, slowly…… And yet, I almost feel nothing. Its just another step. I’m not in shock, nor in depression. Its almost weird. Its supposed to be traumatic. Am I that zen? I miss feeling stuff. FUCK!!!!!
And I’d just watched, as a buck would at approaching headlights. Damn, that looks pretty. So bright. So alluring. I was at my wits’ end. I knew I’d lost all my discipline. And entered the markets blindly. Theory went out the window, 5 miles before self control and 2 miles after desperation. This when my fellow traders are reaching their tipping points and posting really interesting shit on the blogs. Ahead of my time, or lagging far behind? You decide.
So I swallowed my pride and applied for a job. Pretty quickly actually. Within a day I’d gotten a reply and an interview date, which was this morning. And I fucked it up gloriously. Another case of the headlights. I really have to start controlling my destiny and make the best of what fate throws at me. Somebody wake up my idea, please!
Sigh… on to things of a lighter nature.
Lindsay Lohan’s album sucks. Nelly Furtado’s weird and all sexed up. Keane’s album came early, and was a treat for the ears and the soul. I realized that I don’t really know much about Robbie Williams, I’ve yet to sample the Ramones’ Greatest Hits album, I have 13 out of the top 20 albums purchased at HMV, Angels and Airwaves are cool and The Animaniacs soundtrack brings a smile to my face.
I tried to add google ads to my blog for some side income, cause the 3 of you who visit my site may accidentally click on them and thus, giving me some much needed ka-ching. One can always hope and wish. Anyways, I tried to authorize and confirm that I want the ads there, but the system screws up, and now there’s an ad, but I ain’t getting’ a single cent from its clicks, yo! That sucks majorly!
(Fuck, Microsoft word doesn’t recognize the word google. LOSER! It’s a number, for fuck’s sake!)
Went to the Pc convention the other weekend. Bought a pussy ass speaker system that totally matches El Cheapo. I’m happy, In spite of having to rub shoulders with a million other geeks and nerds. And I really mean it when I say, A FUCKING MILLION!
My table arrived. I assembled it. Perfect. Then I sat down, and realized the table;s too high. Its been a week, and I’m still too damn lazy to adjust the legs. I’d just have to get a higher chair. Lucky me, one more chance to shop.
Oh yeah, shopping. I was at TopMan the other day. I spent 200 bucks on me, myself and I. Not bad, 60 bucks each way. Quite cheap. And damn, they look good.
The World Cup started last week too. 22 men running after a ball, cheered on by billions around the world. A spectacle to behold. An escape to dive into. Another opportunity to make money. Me, I’m up by a little, according to my unreliable bookie. Then again… he IS unreliable.
Haven’t been reading up on the news. Nor my comic websites. Nor done much writing of any sort. Nor been socializing. I’d done some reading. That much is interesting. Was just reading a book today, a collection of short stories by Gabriel Garcia Marquez, winner of the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1982. Columbian. Told you conflict spurs creativity. Anyway, his shit really hits it in, with full blown morbidity and feelings. At first glance I wanted to write like him, in its full flavoured descriptions and imagery. On 2nd thoughts, hell no! The dude’s so obviously messed up. Its frightening the world his mind exists in. I’m also reading Blink by Malcolm Gladwell, and Lucifer Vol.4 by Mike Carey. All excellent in their own right. Wonder how much they’d suffered for their craft.
Are there biographies of people who write biographies of people? Hmm…..
Wow, this posting is going nowhere. I apologise for wasting your time. Do come back whenever my sanity returns. I’ll let you know. Telepathically.
*wing*wing*wing*wing*wing*wing*wing*
Back to sunbathing on my bed. That’s the life!
Fuck. Get ready for a ramble.
Just had an interview a while ago. This morning. Why? Why am I heading back to work for another? For others? Simple reason. I screwed up. Big time.
(Shit, I ‘m speaking as if I’d already gotten the job. I’d soon know though, by the end of today.)
I’d lost most of my trading capital earlier last week, and the final nail on the coffin was hammered in on 6/6/06. Yes, how apt. The Morningstar shoved his fiery pitch fork up my ass for sure. Delightfully, gleefully, slowly…… And yet, I almost feel nothing. Its just another step. I’m not in shock, nor in depression. Its almost weird. Its supposed to be traumatic. Am I that zen? I miss feeling stuff. FUCK!!!!!
And I’d just watched, as a buck would at approaching headlights. Damn, that looks pretty. So bright. So alluring. I was at my wits’ end. I knew I’d lost all my discipline. And entered the markets blindly. Theory went out the window, 5 miles before self control and 2 miles after desperation. This when my fellow traders are reaching their tipping points and posting really interesting shit on the blogs. Ahead of my time, or lagging far behind? You decide.
So I swallowed my pride and applied for a job. Pretty quickly actually. Within a day I’d gotten a reply and an interview date, which was this morning. And I fucked it up gloriously. Another case of the headlights. I really have to start controlling my destiny and make the best of what fate throws at me. Somebody wake up my idea, please!
Sigh… on to things of a lighter nature.
Lindsay Lohan’s album sucks. Nelly Furtado’s weird and all sexed up. Keane’s album came early, and was a treat for the ears and the soul. I realized that I don’t really know much about Robbie Williams, I’ve yet to sample the Ramones’ Greatest Hits album, I have 13 out of the top 20 albums purchased at HMV, Angels and Airwaves are cool and The Animaniacs soundtrack brings a smile to my face.
I tried to add google ads to my blog for some side income, cause the 3 of you who visit my site may accidentally click on them and thus, giving me some much needed ka-ching. One can always hope and wish. Anyways, I tried to authorize and confirm that I want the ads there, but the system screws up, and now there’s an ad, but I ain’t getting’ a single cent from its clicks, yo! That sucks majorly!
(Fuck, Microsoft word doesn’t recognize the word google. LOSER! It’s a number, for fuck’s sake!)
Went to the Pc convention the other weekend. Bought a pussy ass speaker system that totally matches El Cheapo. I’m happy, In spite of having to rub shoulders with a million other geeks and nerds. And I really mean it when I say, A FUCKING MILLION!
My table arrived. I assembled it. Perfect. Then I sat down, and realized the table;s too high. Its been a week, and I’m still too damn lazy to adjust the legs. I’d just have to get a higher chair. Lucky me, one more chance to shop.
Oh yeah, shopping. I was at TopMan the other day. I spent 200 bucks on me, myself and I. Not bad, 60 bucks each way. Quite cheap. And damn, they look good.
The World Cup started last week too. 22 men running after a ball, cheered on by billions around the world. A spectacle to behold. An escape to dive into. Another opportunity to make money. Me, I’m up by a little, according to my unreliable bookie. Then again… he IS unreliable.
Haven’t been reading up on the news. Nor my comic websites. Nor done much writing of any sort. Nor been socializing. I’d done some reading. That much is interesting. Was just reading a book today, a collection of short stories by Gabriel Garcia Marquez, winner of the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1982. Columbian. Told you conflict spurs creativity. Anyway, his shit really hits it in, with full blown morbidity and feelings. At first glance I wanted to write like him, in its full flavoured descriptions and imagery. On 2nd thoughts, hell no! The dude’s so obviously messed up. Its frightening the world his mind exists in. I’m also reading Blink by Malcolm Gladwell, and Lucifer Vol.4 by Mike Carey. All excellent in their own right. Wonder how much they’d suffered for their craft.
Are there biographies of people who write biographies of people? Hmm…..
Wow, this posting is going nowhere. I apologise for wasting your time. Do come back whenever my sanity returns. I’ll let you know. Telepathically.
*wing*wing*wing*wing*wing*wing*wing*
Back to sunbathing on my bed. That’s the life!
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Technophobe
So here I am, sweating buckets on an afternoon like most others, except that I have absolutely nothing to do. Work has stalled, if you could call it work to begin with. Hence I decided to escape into the ether, right here, cool as hell. Escape......
It wasn't that long ago that I was here. I had an excellently written blog entry just 2 days ago, and when I clicked the "Publish Post" button, the muthafucka ate up my Pulitzer-worthy entry, and somehow a webpage that was biblically themed appeared. No numerical representation could safely justify the level of contempt I had for that webpage, whatever techno-wizardry that allowed it pass my blockers and proxies, and the ether in general for being so unforgiving. I lost my post. The deed was done. After some major dialectic entries into various chat windows, the trader in me took hold. Look past a bad trade. Learn, and move on.
Hence, my trusty Microsoft Word shall be dusted off the electronic shelf, and will find a 2nd life as holder of my typed word, before entrusting the blogger interface to share my shallow wisdom to the hungry masses. Ahhhh, my adoring, patient public. Yes, my legions of fans. All 3 of you. Ha-fucking-HA.
Recently, the writing bug has bitten me in the ass again. I have been putting it off for the longest time, as my trading business gained prominence and priority. It took a string of losses to jolt me back to reality, after a wave of good profits. Nothing like a wake up call to emphasise my predicament to my proud self. Nothing like failure to instill humility.
So I’d decided that perhaps I need proper working conditions to be in my peak form. Even though I would be going to the office more often, but when the writing needs emerge, I would need a proper desk to store my research, and organize my thoughts and ideas tangibly. Ever since I got El Cheapo, I had moved my desktop into the family area, desk included, so that my ENTIRE family could have access to it anytime they want, without feeling that they have encroached into my personal, private sanctum. It also allows me to sleep better. And therefore, I have been working on the stools and sitting on the floor in my room, papers strewn all over the floor as well. Hardly feasible in the long run. And my wrist would ache from the weird angles that I put it through. While using the mouse, not the joystick! GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE GUTTER!
Anyway, El Cheapo is serving me well. At times its memory is a little strained, when I have too many programs running. Well, in the first place, the supplier installed way too much junk for my liking. I shall have to remove them, once the warranty is up that is. Can’t afford to make that null and void that soon. The cream coloured border around the keyboard is also quite irritating. Perhaps I should’ve gotten some colour kits when I was doing the purchase. Yes, they have kits for laptops now. Wonder how else I can zhng my dear El Cheapo. Then it’d be El Presidente or something grander sounding. Yeah, that sounds good. El Presidente! Si Senor, mucho grande. Me Like.
Ok, side note. Now I remember why I had so fuckingly hated Microsoft word. It’s the goddamn spelling and grammar checks. They constantly remind me how many liberties I take with my sentence construction, our various local colloquialisms and the fact that we use the Queen’s English. Should we be proverbially finger-pointed for being differently correct?
So I’d been surfing more lately, as the markets seem to have fallen asleep on me, or rather, I know not how to beat them, and they appear to be gibberish and random to me right now. I’ll get the feeling back though. Anyways, there’s a shitload of crazy stuff out there. I mean, just from the usual news websites alone, there’s lots of interesting reportage and articles. I’d been sending cool links to my friends, and they say I’m so damn free. In a sense I guess I am, but I am also gathering research for my future writings. I miss reading. I’d been doing more lately. I miss the written word. I definitely got the bug back. The whole year when I was in the slave camp, I totally neglected this part of my development, and had resorted to audio tapes while I commuted in my slave car through hour long jams. In a sense, at least I took that step to further myself, although it doesn’t in the least bit atone for the disregard I placed on myself in that aspect.
Hopefully it will translate into better writing here. This shall be my testbed for my ideas. And you shall be my best/worst critics. How cool is that? Also, I shall be sprucing up this blog with pictures soon, once I figured out this html shit, and flickr. Damn, I;m so far behind. Well, at least I figured out the home networking thingy all by myself, in double quick time I might add. I guess that thing they call a degree was useful after all. Where is it anyway….. oh yeah, over there, under the table’s leg. Well, I had to prop it up with SOMETHING!
Till next time folks. The Truths be with ya!
It wasn't that long ago that I was here. I had an excellently written blog entry just 2 days ago, and when I clicked the "Publish Post" button, the muthafucka ate up my Pulitzer-worthy entry, and somehow a webpage that was biblically themed appeared. No numerical representation could safely justify the level of contempt I had for that webpage, whatever techno-wizardry that allowed it pass my blockers and proxies, and the ether in general for being so unforgiving. I lost my post. The deed was done. After some major dialectic entries into various chat windows, the trader in me took hold. Look past a bad trade. Learn, and move on.
Hence, my trusty Microsoft Word shall be dusted off the electronic shelf, and will find a 2nd life as holder of my typed word, before entrusting the blogger interface to share my shallow wisdom to the hungry masses. Ahhhh, my adoring, patient public. Yes, my legions of fans. All 3 of you. Ha-fucking-HA.
Recently, the writing bug has bitten me in the ass again. I have been putting it off for the longest time, as my trading business gained prominence and priority. It took a string of losses to jolt me back to reality, after a wave of good profits. Nothing like a wake up call to emphasise my predicament to my proud self. Nothing like failure to instill humility.
So I’d decided that perhaps I need proper working conditions to be in my peak form. Even though I would be going to the office more often, but when the writing needs emerge, I would need a proper desk to store my research, and organize my thoughts and ideas tangibly. Ever since I got El Cheapo, I had moved my desktop into the family area, desk included, so that my ENTIRE family could have access to it anytime they want, without feeling that they have encroached into my personal, private sanctum. It also allows me to sleep better. And therefore, I have been working on the stools and sitting on the floor in my room, papers strewn all over the floor as well. Hardly feasible in the long run. And my wrist would ache from the weird angles that I put it through. While using the mouse, not the joystick! GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE GUTTER!
Anyway, El Cheapo is serving me well. At times its memory is a little strained, when I have too many programs running. Well, in the first place, the supplier installed way too much junk for my liking. I shall have to remove them, once the warranty is up that is. Can’t afford to make that null and void that soon. The cream coloured border around the keyboard is also quite irritating. Perhaps I should’ve gotten some colour kits when I was doing the purchase. Yes, they have kits for laptops now. Wonder how else I can zhng my dear El Cheapo. Then it’d be El Presidente or something grander sounding. Yeah, that sounds good. El Presidente! Si Senor, mucho grande. Me Like.
Ok, side note. Now I remember why I had so fuckingly hated Microsoft word. It’s the goddamn spelling and grammar checks. They constantly remind me how many liberties I take with my sentence construction, our various local colloquialisms and the fact that we use the Queen’s English. Should we be proverbially finger-pointed for being differently correct?
So I’d been surfing more lately, as the markets seem to have fallen asleep on me, or rather, I know not how to beat them, and they appear to be gibberish and random to me right now. I’ll get the feeling back though. Anyways, there’s a shitload of crazy stuff out there. I mean, just from the usual news websites alone, there’s lots of interesting reportage and articles. I’d been sending cool links to my friends, and they say I’m so damn free. In a sense I guess I am, but I am also gathering research for my future writings. I miss reading. I’d been doing more lately. I miss the written word. I definitely got the bug back. The whole year when I was in the slave camp, I totally neglected this part of my development, and had resorted to audio tapes while I commuted in my slave car through hour long jams. In a sense, at least I took that step to further myself, although it doesn’t in the least bit atone for the disregard I placed on myself in that aspect.
Hopefully it will translate into better writing here. This shall be my testbed for my ideas. And you shall be my best/worst critics. How cool is that? Also, I shall be sprucing up this blog with pictures soon, once I figured out this html shit, and flickr. Damn, I;m so far behind. Well, at least I figured out the home networking thingy all by myself, in double quick time I might add. I guess that thing they call a degree was useful after all. Where is it anyway….. oh yeah, over there, under the table’s leg. Well, I had to prop it up with SOMETHING!
Till next time folks. The Truths be with ya!
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Dell Hell
So my laptop came the other day.
I had ordered it online sometime around the middle of last week. Picked an affordable model, added all the features that I love, and bought it with a credit card. Even with a public holiday inbetween, they took less than the stipulated 5 working days to deliver it. An idiotic delivery guy sent it over. But nothing could jar me from the good trades I had just done before his arrival.
As it happens, I was so busy that I didn't open the box till the next evening. Quite amazing, considering how much the bloody thing costs. Although, comparing to whats out there in the market, it is pretty affordable.
Hence I have named it, "El Cheapo"!
Also a stab at my own frugality (if you can call it that, purchasing a laptop is no small matter to someone like me, not being gainfully employed).
Anyways, I took it out and started reconfiguring it. You get so used to your usual set up on the desktop that you are almost lazy to change everything on the new laptop to what you've been using all along. It is an arduous process that will take days to accomplish and weeks to fine tune (yes, I can be quite anal about some things, if you haven't noticed).
Another mind-boggling thing is setting up all the usual software that I use, and files that I need. Could someone please teach me how to connect my lappy to my desky? I could never figure out home networking connectivity. And yes, I am a graduate of NUS, Computer Engineering at the School of Computing. Doesn't really count for much, does it? Check
this out.
Overall, pretty happy with El Cheapo. Hopefully it will serve me well. For a long time to come. I don't ask for much, just perform as well as my desktop and I'll be happy. Muhahahhaaa!
I had ordered it online sometime around the middle of last week. Picked an affordable model, added all the features that I love, and bought it with a credit card. Even with a public holiday inbetween, they took less than the stipulated 5 working days to deliver it. An idiotic delivery guy sent it over. But nothing could jar me from the good trades I had just done before his arrival.
As it happens, I was so busy that I didn't open the box till the next evening. Quite amazing, considering how much the bloody thing costs. Although, comparing to whats out there in the market, it is pretty affordable.
Hence I have named it, "El Cheapo"!
Also a stab at my own frugality (if you can call it that, purchasing a laptop is no small matter to someone like me, not being gainfully employed).
Anyways, I took it out and started reconfiguring it. You get so used to your usual set up on the desktop that you are almost lazy to change everything on the new laptop to what you've been using all along. It is an arduous process that will take days to accomplish and weeks to fine tune (yes, I can be quite anal about some things, if you haven't noticed).
Another mind-boggling thing is setting up all the usual software that I use, and files that I need. Could someone please teach me how to connect my lappy to my desky? I could never figure out home networking connectivity. And yes, I am a graduate of NUS, Computer Engineering at the School of Computing. Doesn't really count for much, does it? Check
this out.
Overall, pretty happy with El Cheapo. Hopefully it will serve me well. For a long time to come. I don't ask for much, just perform as well as my desktop and I'll be happy. Muhahahhaaa!
Monday, May 01, 2006
My Voice is Huskie
What a tumultuous week it has been. Or rather, month, or even year. The end of the month has come and gone. A third of the year has come and gone. April used to be my favourite month, as it contains my birthday and all. But I think it won't be my favoured 30 days of the year anymore. Not in the near future anyway.
A year of great change, as my sis-in-law said. And it feels fun, to a certain extent. A real shot to the arm of my life. Wonder when these self-destructive, chaos loving tendencies will subside and give way to reason and order.
So I got a new dog this past Wednesday. My elder bro said over dinner that he was gonna check out a huskie later in the evening. It got me all excited, yet bittersweet. For so many reasons. But it was time to get a new dog. My previous dog had passed away late last year, and in a sense, I've been longing for a new one, after a proper period of mourning. After all, she had been with me for 20 years. She was a mongrel, strong and stubborn, yet loving and protective. She had spunk. She had character. She had the most amazing brown eyes that spoke volumes to me. Her name was Mickey.
So we went all the way to Choa Chu Kang, one of my most hated places on this tiny island we call home, and hated for so many reasons. Those in the know would know why. We met up with the owners, who were first time pet owners, and it is such a sin to keep such an active dog in such an enclosed space. He bore a fine stance, evidence of his pedigree. He was proud and playful. A pup at a mere 7 months of age. We fell in love with him at once, and also for the fact that we'd be getting a fine animal at a fantastic price. For Free! We did give a customary Ang Bao, and hastily retreated to the car with our prized possession.
Its been quite a few days. He has settled in. Notice how I haven't said anything about a name. That's because we can't make up our minds on one. A few that stuck harder than most; Max, Eiffel, Tiki (Stubborn in Teochew, my personal favourite), Lucky, Ah Gao and an assortment of Russian names. He loves to nibble on human flesh, pounce, shed fur, sniff assess, poke groins and hump.
All dogs go to heaven. Because they are so true to themselves. If only we humans did the same.
Please post some ideas for names. Thank you.
A year of great change, as my sis-in-law said. And it feels fun, to a certain extent. A real shot to the arm of my life. Wonder when these self-destructive, chaos loving tendencies will subside and give way to reason and order.
So I got a new dog this past Wednesday. My elder bro said over dinner that he was gonna check out a huskie later in the evening. It got me all excited, yet bittersweet. For so many reasons. But it was time to get a new dog. My previous dog had passed away late last year, and in a sense, I've been longing for a new one, after a proper period of mourning. After all, she had been with me for 20 years. She was a mongrel, strong and stubborn, yet loving and protective. She had spunk. She had character. She had the most amazing brown eyes that spoke volumes to me. Her name was Mickey.
So we went all the way to Choa Chu Kang, one of my most hated places on this tiny island we call home, and hated for so many reasons. Those in the know would know why. We met up with the owners, who were first time pet owners, and it is such a sin to keep such an active dog in such an enclosed space. He bore a fine stance, evidence of his pedigree. He was proud and playful. A pup at a mere 7 months of age. We fell in love with him at once, and also for the fact that we'd be getting a fine animal at a fantastic price. For Free! We did give a customary Ang Bao, and hastily retreated to the car with our prized possession.
Its been quite a few days. He has settled in. Notice how I haven't said anything about a name. That's because we can't make up our minds on one. A few that stuck harder than most; Max, Eiffel, Tiki (Stubborn in Teochew, my personal favourite), Lucky, Ah Gao and an assortment of Russian names. He loves to nibble on human flesh, pounce, shed fur, sniff assess, poke groins and hump.
All dogs go to heaven. Because they are so true to themselves. If only we humans did the same.
Please post some ideas for names. Thank you.
Monday, April 24, 2006
Down the Spiral
I've been feeling like I'm in a dream state of late.
Like I'm floating through life like the smoke from spiral incense hung overhead, those big grand things that move on their own accord. And you know, sometimes, the smoke seems to follow a path, like it has a mind of its own, and not really just going with the wind? That's how I've been feeling.
Big change in my life. I'm single again. Its been quite a while. Quite a long while.
My own doing, of course. Perhaps I'm at my self-destructive tendencies again. Then again, it wasn't an impulsive decision. It was painful, yet inevitable. Funny, this thing called the human pathos.
The road ahead now looks more ominous then ever. I can see the mountain whose peak I will eventually reach, but right ahead is another steep, sandy and uneven road, with rocks and all sort of other debris.
Thankfully I do have my friends around me. Not everyone is as lucky however.
Back to my world of numbers and words, of music and art and life. The Renaissance continues as planned.
What has your truth been thus far?
Like I'm floating through life like the smoke from spiral incense hung overhead, those big grand things that move on their own accord. And you know, sometimes, the smoke seems to follow a path, like it has a mind of its own, and not really just going with the wind? That's how I've been feeling.
Big change in my life. I'm single again. Its been quite a while. Quite a long while.
My own doing, of course. Perhaps I'm at my self-destructive tendencies again. Then again, it wasn't an impulsive decision. It was painful, yet inevitable. Funny, this thing called the human pathos.
The road ahead now looks more ominous then ever. I can see the mountain whose peak I will eventually reach, but right ahead is another steep, sandy and uneven road, with rocks and all sort of other debris.
Thankfully I do have my friends around me. Not everyone is as lucky however.
Back to my world of numbers and words, of music and art and life. The Renaissance continues as planned.
What has your truth been thus far?
Saturday, April 15, 2006
Post-Dated, Pre-Checked, Pre-Fabbed and QC-ed
Half the month came, fucked me up, and went.
April Fool's was interesting. My father was due to arrive at the airport, and for awhile, i was afraid that he wouldn't turn up after i'd waited for him at the gate, cos it was April Fool's. It was the dumbest thing. Of course he turned up. With the alcohol I ordered. Derrick, if you are reading, I'm all set. Black Label and Chivas.
So my parents were in town for the first 2 weeks of the month. Nice to have them around, although my life does it interrupted quite a bit. My car disappears in the mornings, and whenever I want it, it wouldn't be available. Life's like that. You never get what you want, when you want it. As I've said many times, the fates are cruel.
My toilet pipe burst the other day. Its very surreal to see an indoor fountainin your house, when the night before, it was just a flight of stairs. The water flowed from my 2nd floor toilet, down the stairs, flooding the whole 1st floor, and finally out the main gate. Quite a journey. Quite a water bill coming next month. Took the whole morning to dry up. Thankfully the damage was minimal, and no one died from electrocution, which was a very possible likelihood.
Due to this flooding, my brother was late getting to school. One of the discipline masters called me up and reprimanded, in a sense, that my lil' bro should get to school in a timely fashion. I tried to pacify the prick by saying there was a fucking flood at home, and it was my fault getting out of the house late. He replies by saying that they only look at the matter superficially, and that he is just late, end of story.
I almost opened a case of verbal whoop-ass on the muthafucka! As if superficiality is a virtue, that sonuvabitch. Self-righteous cunny bastard. I'd never liked teachers, and this instance reminded me totally why. Its because of their high and mighty authority over the kids that have made them drunk with power.
In future, please constantly remind the teachers of your children of their real status is life. And ask them to really do something worthwhile with their lives. Like really teach things that are worth teaching.
My trading had taken a downturn once again. In spite of better discipline, the road is still long, and steep. Am I doing this to myself? Pretty sure, to a certain extent. I wonder how long more can I keep this up. Really a test of character. I'll keep you guys posted here.
Been loving the weather lately. Melancholic. Makes you just want to grovel in self pity and jump into your bed and pillows. Hide under the covers while the thunder rages around you. April Showers. Love them.
Doesn't help that my birthday lies during this period. And birthdays are, in a sense, a new year. A new start. A time once again to reflect on your accomplishments, or lack thereof. Pain and regret always appear, in my reflections. Been listening to Pearl Jam's Present Tense.
Of course, joy and bliss peek out from behind the clouds, embodied by the silver lining. Celebrate whenever you can, my friends. Life's too short, as they say.
Sorry for this rant. Order and regularity to ensue. For now, live life. To the fullest. Carpe Diem!
April Fool's was interesting. My father was due to arrive at the airport, and for awhile, i was afraid that he wouldn't turn up after i'd waited for him at the gate, cos it was April Fool's. It was the dumbest thing. Of course he turned up. With the alcohol I ordered. Derrick, if you are reading, I'm all set. Black Label and Chivas.
So my parents were in town for the first 2 weeks of the month. Nice to have them around, although my life does it interrupted quite a bit. My car disappears in the mornings, and whenever I want it, it wouldn't be available. Life's like that. You never get what you want, when you want it. As I've said many times, the fates are cruel.
My toilet pipe burst the other day. Its very surreal to see an indoor fountainin your house, when the night before, it was just a flight of stairs. The water flowed from my 2nd floor toilet, down the stairs, flooding the whole 1st floor, and finally out the main gate. Quite a journey. Quite a water bill coming next month. Took the whole morning to dry up. Thankfully the damage was minimal, and no one died from electrocution, which was a very possible likelihood.
Due to this flooding, my brother was late getting to school. One of the discipline masters called me up and reprimanded, in a sense, that my lil' bro should get to school in a timely fashion. I tried to pacify the prick by saying there was a fucking flood at home, and it was my fault getting out of the house late. He replies by saying that they only look at the matter superficially, and that he is just late, end of story.
I almost opened a case of verbal whoop-ass on the muthafucka! As if superficiality is a virtue, that sonuvabitch. Self-righteous cunny bastard. I'd never liked teachers, and this instance reminded me totally why. Its because of their high and mighty authority over the kids that have made them drunk with power.
In future, please constantly remind the teachers of your children of their real status is life. And ask them to really do something worthwhile with their lives. Like really teach things that are worth teaching.
My trading had taken a downturn once again. In spite of better discipline, the road is still long, and steep. Am I doing this to myself? Pretty sure, to a certain extent. I wonder how long more can I keep this up. Really a test of character. I'll keep you guys posted here.
Been loving the weather lately. Melancholic. Makes you just want to grovel in self pity and jump into your bed and pillows. Hide under the covers while the thunder rages around you. April Showers. Love them.
Doesn't help that my birthday lies during this period. And birthdays are, in a sense, a new year. A new start. A time once again to reflect on your accomplishments, or lack thereof. Pain and regret always appear, in my reflections. Been listening to Pearl Jam's Present Tense.
Of course, joy and bliss peek out from behind the clouds, embodied by the silver lining. Celebrate whenever you can, my friends. Life's too short, as they say.
Sorry for this rant. Order and regularity to ensue. For now, live life. To the fullest. Carpe Diem!
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Episode 5
So the word "Empire" has been on my mind for the last week or so. Keeps popping up, everywhere I turned. Thing is, its such a versatile word that it can easily be applied in various contexts.
It started off with my thinking of opening up businesses. These days, everyone says its risky as hell to invest so much into a business venture that may never reap any rewards. Fact of the matter is that since the dawn of capitalism the the concept of the coin, businesses have been starting up, and closing down.
For without the little mom and pops operations, life would really have been that much more harsh. The availability of goods and services by professionals (or at least more professional than yourselves, your family members, or your friends)and the parting of your coin in exchange for said goods and services, have been the way for the longest time. Of course, if your family, friends or yourselves had such operations, it'd be a bonus, with discounts and free favours. But nothing is truly free, just withdrawals and deposits in emotional bank accounts. But I digress....
It wasn't until Henry Ford and his super-industry of specialisation of labour that ushered in the Era of the Corporate Empire. All the big names started coming up thereabouts, and that's when they truly seem to embrace the Empire mold. By buying up all the mom and pop operations, those successful ones anyway (the sucky ones simply spontaneously combust), they pretty much will act like Rome of old, conquering foreign lands, co-opting their ideals and governance from afar. This is the only way after awhile, for operations to grow, to deliver increasing profits, simply by playing the numbers game. R&D, and coming up with new products definitely add to the bottom line, but nothing beats being more present, and more visible, to the consumers.
America too, had become The Empire of the 20th century. We are all familiar with their foreign policies all over the world, from Panama, Africa, Bosnia, Japan and now the Middle Eastern States. They push into foreign lands, to further grow their Empire, to permeate their so-called culture, to fill the pockets that produce the politicians, who press the policies for further growing their Empire. Its a vicious cycle.
And much like all cycles, The Empire has one too. It eventually fails to expand any further, and crumbles inwards. Corruption and greed at its core will destroy the very mechanisms that had made it successful thus far. In time, all large companies will disappear, and even countries will fade. Others will take their places, but what would be the nature of these upstarts. Would they serve for the betterment of mankind? Would we settle for Corporate Governance? Therein lies true power and purpose. The Truth.
Such a company, I will build. Care to join me?
It started off with my thinking of opening up businesses. These days, everyone says its risky as hell to invest so much into a business venture that may never reap any rewards. Fact of the matter is that since the dawn of capitalism the the concept of the coin, businesses have been starting up, and closing down.
For without the little mom and pops operations, life would really have been that much more harsh. The availability of goods and services by professionals (or at least more professional than yourselves, your family members, or your friends)and the parting of your coin in exchange for said goods and services, have been the way for the longest time. Of course, if your family, friends or yourselves had such operations, it'd be a bonus, with discounts and free favours. But nothing is truly free, just withdrawals and deposits in emotional bank accounts. But I digress....
It wasn't until Henry Ford and his super-industry of specialisation of labour that ushered in the Era of the Corporate Empire. All the big names started coming up thereabouts, and that's when they truly seem to embrace the Empire mold. By buying up all the mom and pop operations, those successful ones anyway (the sucky ones simply spontaneously combust), they pretty much will act like Rome of old, conquering foreign lands, co-opting their ideals and governance from afar. This is the only way after awhile, for operations to grow, to deliver increasing profits, simply by playing the numbers game. R&D, and coming up with new products definitely add to the bottom line, but nothing beats being more present, and more visible, to the consumers.
America too, had become The Empire of the 20th century. We are all familiar with their foreign policies all over the world, from Panama, Africa, Bosnia, Japan and now the Middle Eastern States. They push into foreign lands, to further grow their Empire, to permeate their so-called culture, to fill the pockets that produce the politicians, who press the policies for further growing their Empire. Its a vicious cycle.
And much like all cycles, The Empire has one too. It eventually fails to expand any further, and crumbles inwards. Corruption and greed at its core will destroy the very mechanisms that had made it successful thus far. In time, all large companies will disappear, and even countries will fade. Others will take their places, but what would be the nature of these upstarts. Would they serve for the betterment of mankind? Would we settle for Corporate Governance? Therein lies true power and purpose. The Truth.
Such a company, I will build. Care to join me?
Friday, March 24, 2006
Making sense of it all.
I've been steadily heading into a crisis of faith, faith in myself that is.
Been doing pretty ok in the markets. Made some here and there. And all it took was one string of bad trades to bring me back to square one. Humbling indeed, and the funny thing was, it wasn't as if I'd never lost before. But somehow, square one is quite a threshold. Quite a wake up call.
Tell you what. If I do screw up today, I'll be going through tomorrow's fat ass Classifieds.
Just to get back the fear, and the disgust, of finding a job, and going for the horrid interview, and the anxiety, tension, butterflies in the tummy, light-headedness, immobile tongue and overall lack of control of all mental faculties.
Then I won't try and test the fucking system. Discipline truly is key.
But now, discipline has never been my forte. I was always trying to push envelopes, however small and insignificant it may be. My little bits of rebellion, so to speak. Mostly with people of authority at school. Never really had much to rebel against at home, being that I was left to my own devices pretty early on in my adolescence. Big gamble on my parents' part, but I think its a gamble that paid off. I didn't really screw up badly.
Did I?
Well, maybe the slide starts here. We'll see.....
Been doing pretty ok in the markets. Made some here and there. And all it took was one string of bad trades to bring me back to square one. Humbling indeed, and the funny thing was, it wasn't as if I'd never lost before. But somehow, square one is quite a threshold. Quite a wake up call.
Tell you what. If I do screw up today, I'll be going through tomorrow's fat ass Classifieds.
Just to get back the fear, and the disgust, of finding a job, and going for the horrid interview, and the anxiety, tension, butterflies in the tummy, light-headedness, immobile tongue and overall lack of control of all mental faculties.
Then I won't try and test the fucking system. Discipline truly is key.
But now, discipline has never been my forte. I was always trying to push envelopes, however small and insignificant it may be. My little bits of rebellion, so to speak. Mostly with people of authority at school. Never really had much to rebel against at home, being that I was left to my own devices pretty early on in my adolescence. Big gamble on my parents' part, but I think its a gamble that paid off. I didn't really screw up badly.
Did I?
Well, maybe the slide starts here. We'll see.....
Monday, March 13, 2006
To The Past
So I had quite a happening week. In a sense.
Been feeling down lately, since the last post. Sorta Shields UP, keep ur distance kinda mentality. Made some concerned people worried. My fault of course. Cocooning.
So I sorta disappeared, on Thursday night I believe. Took a bloody long drive to sort out my head. Walked quite a bit too. Went to NUS and re-lived regret. Went to Changi to listen to waves and planes. Kept away from my phone, and didn't reply to anyone. That sorta ignited a few nerves. Much to my regret later on.... However, at that point, I simply didn't want anything. Numbness was the key.
So as I got home, feeling much better, I got my phone working again and a deluge of messages and missed calls assailed my poor puny mobile. I returned some calls, and got some reprisals. However, while I did feel remorse, I felt humour as well. It was funny. Real funny. That I caused such a big fuss.
Twisted, am I?
I kept thinking of how technology has totally fucked up our lives. Being in constant contactable virtual radii has deluded us of the notion of privacy and the self.
Societal structures and pressures exerting on us to perform and live up to expectations may not be as beneficial to oneself as previously predicted. This constant barrage of unnatural external stimuli in the long run feels downright detrimental to the psyche. That's why waves crashing and winds blowing, grass and leaves rustling, are so soothing to the soul. It harkens back to the distant past, when life was simpler.
Remember how we used to have to fix up meeting places and timings way before we even leave the house for social gatherings. Nowadays, its "Da Fuck you mean, meet where??? Just call me when you are in the vicinity, muthafucka!"
I'd like to think I'd metamorphosed into something else. Emerged as Another Creature. Shrugged off the old shell(pun intended). Fresh start. Clean slate. My mind all set. My world to conquer. Nothing matters but the relativity to my ego. The Self. The Pain. The Truth.
Stand by me, or weep in despair.
Hahaaa, melodrama mama.
Been feeling down lately, since the last post. Sorta Shields UP, keep ur distance kinda mentality. Made some concerned people worried. My fault of course. Cocooning.
So I sorta disappeared, on Thursday night I believe. Took a bloody long drive to sort out my head. Walked quite a bit too. Went to NUS and re-lived regret. Went to Changi to listen to waves and planes. Kept away from my phone, and didn't reply to anyone. That sorta ignited a few nerves. Much to my regret later on.... However, at that point, I simply didn't want anything. Numbness was the key.
So as I got home, feeling much better, I got my phone working again and a deluge of messages and missed calls assailed my poor puny mobile. I returned some calls, and got some reprisals. However, while I did feel remorse, I felt humour as well. It was funny. Real funny. That I caused such a big fuss.
Twisted, am I?
I kept thinking of how technology has totally fucked up our lives. Being in constant contactable virtual radii has deluded us of the notion of privacy and the self.
Societal structures and pressures exerting on us to perform and live up to expectations may not be as beneficial to oneself as previously predicted. This constant barrage of unnatural external stimuli in the long run feels downright detrimental to the psyche. That's why waves crashing and winds blowing, grass and leaves rustling, are so soothing to the soul. It harkens back to the distant past, when life was simpler.
Remember how we used to have to fix up meeting places and timings way before we even leave the house for social gatherings. Nowadays, its "Da Fuck you mean, meet where??? Just call me when you are in the vicinity, muthafucka!"
I'd like to think I'd metamorphosed into something else. Emerged as Another Creature. Shrugged off the old shell(pun intended). Fresh start. Clean slate. My mind all set. My world to conquer. Nothing matters but the relativity to my ego. The Self. The Pain. The Truth.
Stand by me, or weep in despair.
Hahaaa, melodrama mama.
Friday, March 03, 2006
Music and Mood Swings
Hey WASSUP You'all!
I was having an excellent day. Woke up refreshed, totally ready to trade. All set to go, all engines to full throttle. Started off well. Then not so well. Then badly. That's the name of the game I suppose. But I was still in good spirits.
Then I started going through my music collection. Just to see if I can add to my good mood. Started playing songs I could sing to (Yes I sing, if you can call it singing). Firstly those sappy love songs,and fun songs, and then slowly turned to love songs on unrequited love. Then to songs on dying, and lying, and pain. I went through U2, Sheryl Crow, Sting, Eric Clapton, Guns N Roses, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Maroon 5, Jet, Keane, John Mayer, Robbie Williams, etc.
I ended with Who Wants to Live Forever by Queen.
And I felt so fucked up. The end.
Now I have no idea what sort of madness made me do such a thing to myself. It was totally unconscious. And thus, I had a rollercoaster of an emotional day. Fun Ride. What a rush.
Have I mentioned this before? This is Highlander's 20th aniversary. I want to go to Scotland, and wave a sword at the cliffs, hundreds of metres above the killing waves. The last song was from this show.
There can be only one.
I was having an excellent day. Woke up refreshed, totally ready to trade. All set to go, all engines to full throttle. Started off well. Then not so well. Then badly. That's the name of the game I suppose. But I was still in good spirits.
Then I started going through my music collection. Just to see if I can add to my good mood. Started playing songs I could sing to (Yes I sing, if you can call it singing). Firstly those sappy love songs,and fun songs, and then slowly turned to love songs on unrequited love. Then to songs on dying, and lying, and pain. I went through U2, Sheryl Crow, Sting, Eric Clapton, Guns N Roses, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Maroon 5, Jet, Keane, John Mayer, Robbie Williams, etc.
I ended with Who Wants to Live Forever by Queen.
And I felt so fucked up. The end.
Now I have no idea what sort of madness made me do such a thing to myself. It was totally unconscious. And thus, I had a rollercoaster of an emotional day. Fun Ride. What a rush.
Have I mentioned this before? This is Highlander's 20th aniversary. I want to go to Scotland, and wave a sword at the cliffs, hundreds of metres above the killing waves. The last song was from this show.
There can be only one.
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
Anew
So I'm trying to start a new regime in my life. My plan is to wake up early, send my bro to school, return home and go for a run. Have breakfast and start trading till lunch. Maybe trade a little after lunch, while at the same time trying to find other forms of passive income.
So far this week, failed miserably. But I did get some gears in motion. Been setting up all my spreadsheets to trade with that I'd lost after my computer died so spectacularly. Been running. Twice this week already. Did some mock trading, etc etc etc. I guess its because my parents are around and breaking my momentum. Am I using them as an excuse? Definitely. But a certain level of reason and empathy must be thrown my way. I am human afterall.
Does anyone out there know how to lose a belly? Could you please teach me? Besides dieting. I find it a sin to diet. In this day and age when technology, worldwide capitalism and greed have come to cooperate and bring us a gazillion calories at each meal, who are we to dismiss their efforts and say no to genetically enhanced, biomedically improved and chemical accentuated carbon-based(and sometimes not) dead organic material? Engulf and ingest, people. ENGULF AND INGEST!
Woah, where did all that passion come from? Must be from the run I just had. Endorphins ROCK!
I miss my friends. Where are you guys? Let's meet up! I'm officially NUTS.
So far this week, failed miserably. But I did get some gears in motion. Been setting up all my spreadsheets to trade with that I'd lost after my computer died so spectacularly. Been running. Twice this week already. Did some mock trading, etc etc etc. I guess its because my parents are around and breaking my momentum. Am I using them as an excuse? Definitely. But a certain level of reason and empathy must be thrown my way. I am human afterall.
Does anyone out there know how to lose a belly? Could you please teach me? Besides dieting. I find it a sin to diet. In this day and age when technology, worldwide capitalism and greed have come to cooperate and bring us a gazillion calories at each meal, who are we to dismiss their efforts and say no to genetically enhanced, biomedically improved and chemical accentuated carbon-based(and sometimes not) dead organic material? Engulf and ingest, people. ENGULF AND INGEST!
Woah, where did all that passion come from? Must be from the run I just had. Endorphins ROCK!
I miss my friends. Where are you guys? Let's meet up! I'm officially NUTS.
Monday, February 27, 2006
Fortnightly Update: Take 1
Guess who's back....Back again...I am back....Finally....
Thank you for patronizing this pathetic blog. Updates itself once every fortnight, and fills itself with that wonderfully tasty goodness that only a sinful prick like me can provide.
So I left the company. Went back and chatted with everyone, throwing my newfound freedom in their faces while they carried on slogging, waiting for the final axe to fall. Me, I pick my own axe. They bought me a wonderful lunch at Fish and Co. It seems the best Fish and Co are in town. Those in the neighbourhoods seem to serve leftovers. That's probably why they don't have those huge-ass slushies. Those things are fantasterrific.
The period after that till now has been nothing short of bleeding my pocket dry. As I carry on practicing my trading, I can't wait for the day when I actually start with real dinero. However, I found myself commmitting mistakes time and time again. Absolutely unacceptable. Got to brush off the demons on my shoulders.
Went to the Asian Aerospace the other day. Boring hell. Only highlight for me was the new Fat Ass Airbus. Its no wonder I have an affinity for it. I'm more of a Boeing fan. Its kinda like dogs versus cats. Anyway, to quote The Donald," Its Huge!"
Nothing much else interested me. I did get a $4 Snapple. That sucked. And oh yeah, I got a freaking sun-burn looking at the stupid UAVs and Trainer pussy jets while waiting for the fat-mama. Till today, I'm still peeling.
I have found that the only way to get enough frequent flyer miles to be entitled to special status with airlines is to travel in Business Class minimally, and take planes like most others take buses. That's what my old man has done, and he has gotten enough miles within 6 months. Bet his internal clock insists its been 8 months. Its surely all screwed up.
Feasted on Saturday and chionged thereafter. I suck at that. The Chionging that is. Feasting is 2nd nature. Chionging is Shiong. I was dazed after a little dancing at MOS. Stupid place really. Doesn't live up to the hype. Anyway, I take it as a sign that I'll have to start working out for real this time. Yes, I haven't broken an exercised sweat since my return. Blow Me.
Well, the final nail in the coffin has to be the great dinner I just had at Long Beach in Marina South. Prawns, Fish, Crabs (Chilli and Black Pepper), Chicken, Noodles, Vege and desserts. I am officially the Glutton of Bedok.
And I've got to pass my ippt within a month. I'm so screwed.
Current affairs have been boring me. On a WorldWide scale, the entire planet is going to hell. Nothing new. Same old shit. I really with they could just escalate all the issues and just duke it out, kill each other and finish off with it. Why drag an old crusade for hundreds of years? Its just nonsense.
On the home front, a founding father has passed on the the great big lalang patch in the sky. Kudos to him for all he has done. Don't really know him well, but many people seem to like him.
And in the same paper where this great man's obituaries can be found, is another article on another celebrity of sorts from home. A poly gal whose mobile phone containing videos of her and her boyfriend in compromised situations was stolen. And said videos broadcasted. Worldwide. We seem to have a knack for such racy conduct. And from an island that is supposedly uptight. I think its just sad that her life is ruined because of pettiness on the part of the person who stole the phone. What a way to have your future dashed. On another note, I'm surprised at the enterprise of others who took this opportunity to make a quick buck. Unscrupulous, but enterprising nevertheless.
Lost my car today. Got it back in the afternoon. Stupid. My parents lost it in the car park. Its a classic case of emotions overbearing rationale.
Truth of the fortnight," Think hard before you act. But think too hard and you will never act."
Thank you for patronizing this pathetic blog. Updates itself once every fortnight, and fills itself with that wonderfully tasty goodness that only a sinful prick like me can provide.
So I left the company. Went back and chatted with everyone, throwing my newfound freedom in their faces while they carried on slogging, waiting for the final axe to fall. Me, I pick my own axe. They bought me a wonderful lunch at Fish and Co. It seems the best Fish and Co are in town. Those in the neighbourhoods seem to serve leftovers. That's probably why they don't have those huge-ass slushies. Those things are fantasterrific.
The period after that till now has been nothing short of bleeding my pocket dry. As I carry on practicing my trading, I can't wait for the day when I actually start with real dinero. However, I found myself commmitting mistakes time and time again. Absolutely unacceptable. Got to brush off the demons on my shoulders.
Went to the Asian Aerospace the other day. Boring hell. Only highlight for me was the new Fat Ass Airbus. Its no wonder I have an affinity for it. I'm more of a Boeing fan. Its kinda like dogs versus cats. Anyway, to quote The Donald," Its Huge!"
Nothing much else interested me. I did get a $4 Snapple. That sucked. And oh yeah, I got a freaking sun-burn looking at the stupid UAVs and Trainer pussy jets while waiting for the fat-mama. Till today, I'm still peeling.
I have found that the only way to get enough frequent flyer miles to be entitled to special status with airlines is to travel in Business Class minimally, and take planes like most others take buses. That's what my old man has done, and he has gotten enough miles within 6 months. Bet his internal clock insists its been 8 months. Its surely all screwed up.
Feasted on Saturday and chionged thereafter. I suck at that. The Chionging that is. Feasting is 2nd nature. Chionging is Shiong. I was dazed after a little dancing at MOS. Stupid place really. Doesn't live up to the hype. Anyway, I take it as a sign that I'll have to start working out for real this time. Yes, I haven't broken an exercised sweat since my return. Blow Me.
Well, the final nail in the coffin has to be the great dinner I just had at Long Beach in Marina South. Prawns, Fish, Crabs (Chilli and Black Pepper), Chicken, Noodles, Vege and desserts. I am officially the Glutton of Bedok.
And I've got to pass my ippt within a month. I'm so screwed.
Current affairs have been boring me. On a WorldWide scale, the entire planet is going to hell. Nothing new. Same old shit. I really with they could just escalate all the issues and just duke it out, kill each other and finish off with it. Why drag an old crusade for hundreds of years? Its just nonsense.
On the home front, a founding father has passed on the the great big lalang patch in the sky. Kudos to him for all he has done. Don't really know him well, but many people seem to like him.
And in the same paper where this great man's obituaries can be found, is another article on another celebrity of sorts from home. A poly gal whose mobile phone containing videos of her and her boyfriend in compromised situations was stolen. And said videos broadcasted. Worldwide. We seem to have a knack for such racy conduct. And from an island that is supposedly uptight. I think its just sad that her life is ruined because of pettiness on the part of the person who stole the phone. What a way to have your future dashed. On another note, I'm surprised at the enterprise of others who took this opportunity to make a quick buck. Unscrupulous, but enterprising nevertheless.
Lost my car today. Got it back in the afternoon. Stupid. My parents lost it in the car park. Its a classic case of emotions overbearing rationale.
Truth of the fortnight," Think hard before you act. But think too hard and you will never act."
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Gush of shit to blog
All right, so I lost track of my blogging regiment. And almost all discipline in life since the last blog. Seems like life is throwing me all the good stuff, and resistance is futile and meaningless. Why say no to the good stuff? Why torture yourself? But then I remember that life is about balance. And that the downturn is gonna come real soon.
So here is my confession, and the beginning of my penance.
*Can you believe I just went to search for the right spelling for penance? Although I got it right, but damn! To think I have illusions of being a writer. What a mind fuck. Long way to go, dick....so to speak*
Anyways, the trip was magnificent. Shanghai in all her glory. And its a she. Cause most cities and female and this one was a babe. In most aspects. I ate and gorged and feasted and gluttonised myself. Even now, I still feel some remnants of the food in my tummy. No wait, its just the converted coagulated fats at my abdomen. Sorry.
I did a shitload of shopping too. Don't you just hate me? Along with my own babe, we had spent 1000 Singjiakpore Dollars. Excluding food. Just shopping. I came back with 4 pairs of shoes and 2 jackets that I don't know what I'm gonna do with them.
Forget it, I'm not lending them to you either.
However, I dreaded the last few days before returning to our sunny island. It was all due to the fact that I'd have to stay in the freaking office for another week and a half before my last day came about. The icing on the cake was when I went in the next morning, my boss told me to clear my leave.
SWEET! BEST!
Thus the soulfest continued and I enjoyed myself for another week and a half. I will go in tomorrow morning, to outprocess and wipe my ass off the company.
Now I'm fatter, lazier and overall rounder than ever. My six-pack aim seems further than ever. It would be interesting to see if I ever meet it.
Today's Valentine's. Great. More couples breaking up. Hearts broken, relationships trashed. Was St. Valentine from hell?
Dick Cheney shot his hunting partner. Haha. Purposely? Danish papers printing comic strips depicting the prophet Mohammed. Gives comics a bad name, really. Even if its strip. Jarhead was good. Funny shit. Don't think I'm catching BrokeAss Mountain. I'm homophobic.
Trading has been fun. Can't wait to start the real thing. That would be interesting to watch too.
Ok, I'm losing focus. Come on, cut me some slack. Its 3 freaking am!
I'm outta here. No truths this time round.
I'll leave you with this excellent url.
http://www.rapidnewswire.com/atom.htm
So here is my confession, and the beginning of my penance.
*Can you believe I just went to search for the right spelling for penance? Although I got it right, but damn! To think I have illusions of being a writer. What a mind fuck. Long way to go, dick....so to speak*
Anyways, the trip was magnificent. Shanghai in all her glory. And its a she. Cause most cities and female and this one was a babe. In most aspects. I ate and gorged and feasted and gluttonised myself. Even now, I still feel some remnants of the food in my tummy. No wait, its just the converted coagulated fats at my abdomen. Sorry.
I did a shitload of shopping too. Don't you just hate me? Along with my own babe, we had spent 1000 Singjiakpore Dollars. Excluding food. Just shopping. I came back with 4 pairs of shoes and 2 jackets that I don't know what I'm gonna do with them.
Forget it, I'm not lending them to you either.
However, I dreaded the last few days before returning to our sunny island. It was all due to the fact that I'd have to stay in the freaking office for another week and a half before my last day came about. The icing on the cake was when I went in the next morning, my boss told me to clear my leave.
SWEET! BEST!
Thus the soulfest continued and I enjoyed myself for another week and a half. I will go in tomorrow morning, to outprocess and wipe my ass off the company.
Now I'm fatter, lazier and overall rounder than ever. My six-pack aim seems further than ever. It would be interesting to see if I ever meet it.
Today's Valentine's. Great. More couples breaking up. Hearts broken, relationships trashed. Was St. Valentine from hell?
Dick Cheney shot his hunting partner. Haha. Purposely? Danish papers printing comic strips depicting the prophet Mohammed. Gives comics a bad name, really. Even if its strip. Jarhead was good. Funny shit. Don't think I'm catching BrokeAss Mountain. I'm homophobic.
Trading has been fun. Can't wait to start the real thing. That would be interesting to watch too.
Ok, I'm losing focus. Come on, cut me some slack. Its 3 freaking am!
I'm outta here. No truths this time round.
I'll leave you with this excellent url.
http://www.rapidnewswire.com/atom.htm
Monday, January 30, 2006
Escapism to the Nth degree
Here I am, posting from far-away Shanghai.
I'm here for the Lunar New Year holidays for 9 days straight. Yee-haw!
I hadn't had a break in the whole of 2005. The pussy Duff didn't allow me to have one. Limey Bastard.
Its been great thus far. Arrived in the dead of winter. Froze my socks off. The North wind was at his best, and his frost queen was taking a leisurely stroll up my groin.
Had a wonderful Lunar New Year's eve. Right about midnight, the fireworks were going off like bombs in Iraq, but much prettier. I had my fare share of the bangs and booms. We had a few that went off splendidly. I nearly lost my hand, when amongst our stash was a dud that exploded almost immediately. Just seconds before, I was holding a similar one, and was igniting the fuse before setting it down properly on the ground. Major boo boo on my part. I kept imagining my hand lookiing like a bunch of sausages, held together by tendons and sinew. Would have had to use my other hand henceforth for all stress-relieving activities.
Played golf today. Sucked big time. Will have to work on it when I get back home. Ah... Home.... such a foreign concept at this point in time. Aching forearms, lower back and quadriceps thereafter. Even as I type, the bitching muscles are complaining to my now frozen brain, but to no avail.
Anyway, it was excellent weather today. The New Year literall ushered in Spring, and it was a balmy 15 degrees on average. Had a leisurely walk home after a hefty dinner that was coupled with Red Wine. Groovy. Stopped off for an excellent massage by a true blue blind masseuse. Excellent fingers. Pity I dozed off.
Well, my own queen will be arriving soon. I had better catch some Z's before picking her up at the airport an hour's drive away.
Anybody reading got any shopping requests?
I'm here for the Lunar New Year holidays for 9 days straight. Yee-haw!
I hadn't had a break in the whole of 2005. The pussy Duff didn't allow me to have one. Limey Bastard.
Its been great thus far. Arrived in the dead of winter. Froze my socks off. The North wind was at his best, and his frost queen was taking a leisurely stroll up my groin.
Had a wonderful Lunar New Year's eve. Right about midnight, the fireworks were going off like bombs in Iraq, but much prettier. I had my fare share of the bangs and booms. We had a few that went off splendidly. I nearly lost my hand, when amongst our stash was a dud that exploded almost immediately. Just seconds before, I was holding a similar one, and was igniting the fuse before setting it down properly on the ground. Major boo boo on my part. I kept imagining my hand lookiing like a bunch of sausages, held together by tendons and sinew. Would have had to use my other hand henceforth for all stress-relieving activities.
Played golf today. Sucked big time. Will have to work on it when I get back home. Ah... Home.... such a foreign concept at this point in time. Aching forearms, lower back and quadriceps thereafter. Even as I type, the bitching muscles are complaining to my now frozen brain, but to no avail.
Anyway, it was excellent weather today. The New Year literall ushered in Spring, and it was a balmy 15 degrees on average. Had a leisurely walk home after a hefty dinner that was coupled with Red Wine. Groovy. Stopped off for an excellent massage by a true blue blind masseuse. Excellent fingers. Pity I dozed off.
Well, my own queen will be arriving soon. I had better catch some Z's before picking her up at the airport an hour's drive away.
Anybody reading got any shopping requests?
Sunday, January 22, 2006
The new Me
As I shove the Duff aside and piss all over him, I review what he's done with my life thus far and he really lives (lived?) up to his namesakes.
The Bugger is utterly useless.
The amount of procrastinations shoved up his ass knows no bounds. I rip them out irregardless of the consequences to his anal-retentive ravages, and toss them all into the toilet where they belong. Heavy flushing ensues.
Thus, just this weeek, I have left the slave camp, and am working towards the proverbial unbeaten track. Many an objection has been hurled my way, but I have just bought a new set of baseball club, gloves and ball(just under $100, join me for a game?), just for such occasions.
I will practice my swing, pump up on steroids, bat away well-intentioned but stupid criticisms, catch their envious remarks with the gloves, and flush them down the toilet with the above-mentioned hurdles that I've overcome. And when the twats turn around and walk away, I shall pitch the rock hard baseball squarely into their soft-shelled skulls to expose the pussies within.
This move will be directly working towards my goals, instead of making a roundabout route. It will also allow more time and flexiblity for me to achieve others things as well, like physical perfection (6-pack and IPPT by April 9th!) and other manly duties that I personally have been entrusted with, like running the entire household with an iron fist. I am literally the king of my domain. This arrangement will also allow me to pursue my other interests in life, especially penning down ideas onto paper, and getting these stories into mass production.
This is the year of change. I can't wait.
The Bugger is utterly useless.
The amount of procrastinations shoved up his ass knows no bounds. I rip them out irregardless of the consequences to his anal-retentive ravages, and toss them all into the toilet where they belong. Heavy flushing ensues.
Thus, just this weeek, I have left the slave camp, and am working towards the proverbial unbeaten track. Many an objection has been hurled my way, but I have just bought a new set of baseball club, gloves and ball(just under $100, join me for a game?), just for such occasions.
I will practice my swing, pump up on steroids, bat away well-intentioned but stupid criticisms, catch their envious remarks with the gloves, and flush them down the toilet with the above-mentioned hurdles that I've overcome. And when the twats turn around and walk away, I shall pitch the rock hard baseball squarely into their soft-shelled skulls to expose the pussies within.
This move will be directly working towards my goals, instead of making a roundabout route. It will also allow more time and flexiblity for me to achieve others things as well, like physical perfection (6-pack and IPPT by April 9th!) and other manly duties that I personally have been entrusted with, like running the entire household with an iron fist. I am literally the king of my domain. This arrangement will also allow me to pursue my other interests in life, especially penning down ideas onto paper, and getting these stories into mass production.
This is the year of change. I can't wait.
Thursday, January 12, 2006
The F Word
Fuck
What else were you expecting?
I bet somewhere in the analsphere that is blogodomy, there is an exact same fucking blog as the above.
I bet ya to find it.
In case you're curious, I've bitchslapped the Duff into submission.
This year, I'm in command.
His Truths? I piss on them. Constantly.
What else were you expecting?
I bet somewhere in the analsphere that is blogodomy, there is an exact same fucking blog as the above.
I bet ya to find it.
In case you're curious, I've bitchslapped the Duff into submission.
This year, I'm in command.
His Truths? I piss on them. Constantly.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)