A quick update for the dying

 Today is June 12th.

Fuck. Get ready for a ramble.

Just had an interview a while ago. This morning. Why? Why am I heading back to work for another? For others? Simple reason. I screwed up. Big time.

(Shit, I ‘m speaking as if I’d already gotten the job. I’d soon know though, by the end of today.)

I’d lost most of my trading capital earlier last week, and the final nail on the coffin was hammered in on 6/6/06. Yes, how apt. The Morningstar shoved his fiery pitch fork up my ass for sure. Delightfully, gleefully, slowly…… And yet, I almost feel nothing. Its just another step. I’m not in shock, nor in depression. Its almost weird. Its supposed to be traumatic. Am I that zen? I miss feeling stuff. FUCK!!!!!

And I’d just watched, as a buck would at approaching headlights. Damn, that looks pretty. So bright. So alluring. I was at my wits’ end. I knew I’d lost all my discipline. And entered the markets blindly. Theory went out the window, 5 miles before self control and 2 miles after desperation. This when my fellow traders are reaching their tipping points and posting really interesting shit on the blogs. Ahead of my time, or lagging far behind? You decide.

So I swallowed my pride and applied for a job. Pretty quickly actually. Within a day I’d gotten a reply and an interview date, which was this morning. And I fucked it up gloriously. Another case of the headlights. I really have to start controlling my destiny and make the best of what fate throws at me. Somebody wake up my idea, please!

Sigh… on to things of a lighter nature.

Lindsay Lohan’s album sucks. Nelly Furtado’s weird and all sexed up. Keane’s album came early, and was a treat for the ears and the soul. I realized that I don’t really know much about Robbie Williams, I’ve yet to sample the Ramones’ Greatest Hits album, I have 13 out of the top 20 albums purchased at HMV, Angels and Airwaves are cool and The Animaniacs soundtrack brings a smile to my face.

I tried to add google ads to my blog for some side income, cause the 3 of you who visit my site may accidentally click on them and thus, giving me some much needed ka-ching. One can always hope and wish. Anyways, I tried to authorize and confirm that I want the ads there, but the system screws up, and now there’s an ad, but I ain’t getting’ a single cent from its clicks, yo! That sucks majorly!

(Fuck, Microsoft word doesn’t recognize the word google. LOSER! It’s a number, for fuck’s sake!)

Went to the Pc convention the other weekend. Bought a pussy ass speaker system that totally matches El Cheapo. I’m happy, In spite of having to rub shoulders with a million other geeks and nerds. And I really mean it when I say, A FUCKING MILLION!

My table arrived. I assembled it. Perfect. Then I sat down, and realized the table;s too high. Its been a week, and I’m still too damn lazy to adjust the legs. I’d just have to get a higher chair. Lucky me, one more chance to shop.

Oh yeah, shopping. I was at TopMan the other day. I spent 200 bucks on me, myself and I. Not bad, 60 bucks each way. Quite cheap. And damn, they look good.

The World Cup started last week too. 22 men running after a ball, cheered on by billions around the world. A spectacle to behold. An escape to dive into. Another opportunity to make money. Me, I’m up by a little, according to my unreliable bookie. Then again… he IS unreliable.

Haven’t been reading up on the news. Nor my comic websites. Nor done much writing of any sort. Nor been socializing. I’d done some reading. That much is interesting. Was just reading a book today, a collection of short stories by Gabriel Garcia Marquez, winner of the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1982. Columbian. Told you conflict spurs creativity. Anyway, his shit really hits it in, with full blown morbidity and feelings. At first glance I wanted to write like him, in its full flavoured descriptions and imagery. On 2nd thoughts, hell no! The dude’s so obviously messed up. Its frightening the world his mind exists in. I’m also reading Blink by Malcolm Gladwell, and Lucifer Vol.4 by Mike Carey. All excellent in their own right. Wonder how much they’d suffered for their craft.

Are there biographies of people who write biographies of people? Hmm…..

Wow, this posting is going nowhere. I apologise for wasting your time. Do come back whenever my sanity returns. I’ll let you know. Telepathically.

*wing*wing*wing*wing*wing*wing*wing*

Back to sunbathing on my bed. That’s the life!