Inner Universe

 *Somewhere Only We Know – Keane*

Being in your own world has its perks. You lose track of time and become a ghost within a shell, really embracing the standalone complex that technology like the net has afforded us and cocooning from all social contact. Much like leprosy, but only in reverse.

Are humans really social creatures? If we are, why do we deal out so much grief unto one another? Is this the epitome of socializing? Whatever happened to empathy? Whatever happened to our larger brains, our developed state of higher consciousness?

Apparently I didn’t get the job that I had wanted. Lost out to a nerd. Guess I was too expensive for them. I hope he fares well, and that the company goes on to greater success without me. Wish they had told me that I didn’t get it though. I didn’t get the news from the horse’s mouth. Does it speak of a lousy human resource department, or just plain bochup on the hirer’s part?

Anyway, after yet another rejection added to the overly long list in my life. Back to trading. I had to re-adjust, re-focus and re-finance. The mental battle was almost insurmountable. My father gave me a pep talk too, about not wasting my life away, and to get a job. It was a very tough conversation, being judged before the final bell, and having no support from the sides. However, I held on to my balls, and decided to give trading another shot before throwing in the blood-soaked towel. Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that. February, suddenly it doesn’t seem that far off now.

On the topic of throwing in the towel, a dear friend of mine just did, and decided to pick up his set of ball and chain. He is the same age as me, and has been saving up for his big day. He is plunging headlong into the abyss, to be forever locked in holy matrimony. I’m wishing him all the best, and that we should all be this lucky, to be certain at this age, irregardless of the million other factors that our fractured psyches seem to enjoy bringing to the fore.

My grandma celebrated her 83rd birthday the other week. That’s one heckuva long time to be on this planet. I cannot imagine the multitude of stories roaming about in her head, a treasure trove of secrets and deceits, chapters on the triumphs of the human condition, and volumes of miscellaneous experiences. If only I could record all that data for posterity. Interviewing her and collating all that into a book would only be bringing her realities through the unfocused filter of my myopic pen. Such is the tragedy of our fables. Each generation fucks them up with their own salts and peppers. Seasonings of falsehoods, they are.

I’ve yet to catch a single movie since Supes. I shall resign myself to my trusty WWW to scratch my movie-watching itch. Pirates, Fast and Furious, Thank you for smoking, and shitloads more. It’s the summer man, DAMN! Brain fodder.

*Save me – Remy Zero*

Been watching quite a few Tv serials though. Entourage, Lucky Louie, Kyle XY, Jericho, Top Gear, Fast Inc, Blood+ and Eureka. Good stuff all. The Truth, I prefer TV land to movies. Watch as the power in Hollywood transfers back to the small screen.