Thursday, April 12, 2007

You Know Truths

I haven't dumped some truths onto the ether for quite awhile.

I think its time.

These are called You Know truths. They are the facts of life that everyone knows, but do not share.

1. You Know that your fart is bad when it eventually diffuses until it reaches your eyes, it stings.

2. You Know that you are godforsakenly lazy when you refuse to move to wipe your snot as it oozes down past your chin, and threatens to drip onto your clothes.

3. You Know that your body hates you when as you peel thick skin off your toes, a flake is propelled at light speed into the space between your thumb and its nail, splitting them apart.

4. You Know that you've scooped up enough dogshit for one lifetime when as someone flings a newspaper near your face and you get a whiff, a gag reflex occurs.

Thats all I've got for now. More to come I'm sure. Please feel free to contribute your own You Know Truths.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Midweek with no view

The Duff is continuing his hiatus from reality today, and thus I'm to the fore, enacting my brand of anarchy on this world.

BBC news networks never fail to depress the duff each morning on his sojourn to his lil' bro's school in Balastier. Today's news included concentration camps in Ethiopia, Suicide bombers in Casablanca, Al Gore organising a concert for Global Warming and Man U trashing Roma 7-1. All depressing news.

The concentration camps reminded me of Guantanamo, where the detainees have been held like hostages for years on end, since the Americans invaded Afghanistan. The Duff cannot imagine having one's life fucked up so, with no hope in sight, and a never-ending fear that your life is out of your hands, at the whim of the red-neck with the M-16 on the other side of the bars. The best years of your life ebbing away just because of the unlucky roll of the die of life allowed you to be born a certain race, and in a certain geographic location, and that you reacted almost like a hostile terrorist when the aforementioned red-neck (because honestly, they all look the same) busted into your house and dragged your teenage son across YOUR living room by the collar, and hollering words you cannot comprehend.

Thank the gods that we have due process, a "just", westernly system of law, and only have to put up with arrogant, elitist, over-paid civil servants. 

And apparently there are rumours that the camps in Ethiopia may have the CIA behind them. There's been lots of talk of CIA operations all over the world, indulging in espionage, especially kidnapping hostages without reason, or rather, their own reasons. Really interesting stuff. Go google around and find out more.

The scenes in Casablanca were like those out of a Bond movie. Suicide bombers running away from the cops, on rooftops in the shanty towns, and pedestrians running for their lives. When one of the bombers was cornered, he literally threw himself off the rooftop, onto the cops and killed them all. Such a tragedy. And this occurs due to the riches and spoils that the only some people seem to be obtaining from their close relations to the United states, and not being shared with the entire community. Disenfranchised youths are truly a dangerous bunch when organised.

So Live Earth is a concert being organised by Al Gore, Prophet for Global Warming, to increase funds in the fight against the genocide on nature. An oscar and every other government jumping on the bandwagon, endorsing his message, stating that the world is going to hell, and its due to our disastrous efforts at maintaining the delicate balance that is life, the universe and everything. Its because we drive cars and eat all we can, we do not recycle, we burn everything, blah blah blah. Our CO2 is causing global warming, polar caps are melting, sea levels are rising, our kids will have a horrible world to live in with El Nino and the chio-er La Nina.

What a load of crock.

How can a gas that makes up only a miniscule part of our atmosphere have such disastrous causes? Isn't our world always in upheaval, since the dawn of its existence? Even mankind has lived through amazing warm periods in the middle ages, and ice-ages when we hunted the mammoth into extinction. We will survive, no matter what. As long as we do not bomb ourselves into oblivion. The world won't kill us. We will kill ourselves. With more direct methods. Global warming... pfah! We might as well stop farting. It'd really help save the penguins.

Let's face it. Global warming is a farce. It is a make belief industry worth billions. It has political clout, and it has gone mainstream. Its like greenpeace has gone legit. Its like Gen X putting on shirts and ties. Its like Madonna with spikey metal bras writing children's books. Its like implementing dress codes on nude beaches. Its gone horribly wrong.

The industry works like this. From the absolute least connected, roundabout way. A biologist wants to study squirrel fucks and orgies. So he writes to his school board, and requests funding. But instead of a heading "A study in squirrel fuck", he writes "A study in the impact of methane from squirrel droppings affecting the forest ecosystem and global warming." Here you go, here's 2 million dollars and tenure. With your study, we shall get 10 million more dollars next year at the fund-raiser.

And what's with Man U's trashing of Roma, the Italian Serie A's number 2 team? 7-1 is crazy at the top flight level, and Roma should be ashamed of themselves, as well as their fans who were very violent the last round when Man U supporters went to their stadium, getting insulted, beaten up and stabbed at. I guess fate finds a way to even out all things. Its the Balance of the Force.  7-1, amazing. Much as I hate Man U's dominance of the game, much like the Chicago Bulls of the 90s, they are to be respected. All the Duff can do is wait for his new Arsenal Gunners to come of age and kick everyone's ass to the scoreboard.

Rant complete. Consciousness close.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

F5

The Duff had his 28th Birthday yesterday.

He didn't really feel all that different. It was just another day. He worked in the day, and even exercised by cycling with his dog(yep, yes he can!), and bathing the creature after the run. As usual, he had dinner with his family, as he shares his birthday with his elder brother. He received some ang baos and an iPod nano, which was something he had been searching for, but was too cheap to obtain on his own expense.

He has had a weird 2 months since the last post. He had a phenomenal work month in March. The increased volatility and madness in the markets allowed him to have more entries, and an overall good form persisted. It was his first profitable month after a year of tuition fees. He wonders even now, whether he has turned a corner and is finally getting the hang of trading, or if it was just a fluke, and he'd soon re-join the rat race.

The Duff has been trying to pick up on his old reading hobby again. There was a time when he commuted a lot and read so much during those long trips on the bus or train. He misses those times when he explored the world and learnt of american ignorance and naivete in Time magazine, pipe dreams of screenwriters in entertainment journals, and of course fantastic journeys  into the outer lands on our minds in fiction novels.

When he started driving, he got into audiobooks. He found them dry, and highly dependent on production values and the narrator's voice. One can only imagine how disastrous the voices are if they can massacre even the Duff's favourite Dune series of books. Only self-help books on audio seemed to work for him, but one can only take in so much new age gospel at one go.

The Duff needs to find his bliss again. He's losing his touch on reality. He needs to meet up with old friends. He needs to be reminded of what he used to be. He needs a larger perspective to plan the future.

His warcrafting stint is about over. His rogue character has reached the maximum level, and he's actually been playing a new character, starting all over again. So many hours of gameplay, so much time wasted.

The Duff needs a break. He's been "working" nonstop for a year now. While his work is more enjoyable than most and affords a lot of flexibility, it doesn't exactly bring home the bacon. That immeasurable stress as well as facing the judgement of loved ones had been piling on immensely. He's like Old Faithful, about to explode. At 40 minute intervals. Indefinitely. He needs a holiday.

Thats why I'm blogging. He's out for today. Out of his mind.

Parting words. To test if The Duff still has his adoring public.

Does anyone know how to fix a Write Delay Failure?
Did anyone here belong to a council of smartasses in junior college and wouldn't mind meeting the Duff and a certain Robin for dinner sometime?
Pool?
Spiderman 3 preview?
Blading?
Cycling huskies?
Investment property?
Woodbridge Institute for the Mentally off-centred?

Fuck.... Need to refresh... (F5)