The Duff seems to be in a glut of misfortune. Like a hole in the ground, the shit just keeps piling up.
It all started on Saturday night, when the Duff fell asleep on his arm just for a while. He awoke to find his entire right arm numb. Even in the next morning, his two middle fingers on the right were non functional. He felt spastic. He couldn't use the mouse nor the keyboard with his usal finesse. Thankfully he could navigate with his left hand on the mouse. A quirk he had forced himself to take up some time back just for shit happens just like this.
Monday afternoon saw his entire right lap engulfed in hot soup during lunch. Thankfully he was sitting at an angle to the table, else it'd be Hasta La' Byebye to his family jewels. The lady who was serving him and who spilled the hot soup was less than apologetic, and kept up with some stupid comments that it's his lucky day and he should go buy the lottery. He retorted sarcastically that she should get it for him, or else he wouldn't be that lucky to strike it, but of course such intellectual exchange was lost on the simple minded specimen.
On Wednesday, he got back some control of his 2 middle fingers. Giving the finger was still out of the question however. That was a crippling effect that made him panic for awhile, much as the terror that a president of a bigoted country would have if he couldn't give the thumbs up.
Thursday saw his colleague engulf her mobile phone with her soya bean drink as the thin walled plastic cup holding the liquid exploded before his very eyes as she was trying to put back the cover. She lifted the phone to eye level, with the white stuff still dripping off it and she gasped, leaving her mouth open. Quite an image.
Ah.....Hormones......
It totally didn't help that a million drivers were trying to kill The Duff on the roads by attempting to smash into his car during the course of the week. Bloody idiots were like a swarm of moths being attracted to his flaming set of wheels. The counter on his curses went through the roof. Guess the person keeping score up in heaven must have been amused somewhat by this. piling on the negative points.
Speaking of swarms, the infestation of moths earlier in the year has translated into a swarm of caterpillar offspring in his house. The worst thing is that his maid has an uncontrollable fear of them. She freaks out and pesters him relentlessly. He wants to kill her.
The Duff caught the Island this week. Scarlett Johansson is da bomb! He knew she was jude to the core, but sometimes, nothing reminds one of such an undeniable fact more than a white lycra suit over a bodacious blonde.
The show was pretty watchable though. Lots of running, and futuretech. He loved the hover
jet-skis.
The slaving continues at a snail's pace. The Duff has his mid-year performance review with his slave master, and he was told that he needed to be more sociable, more visible, in the slave camp, and that he has a pretty good chance of being a permanent slave. While heartening to know that his slaving over the past few months has been satisfactory, and that he might have a dependable slave pittance in the near future, with slave perks, he is unsure whether that is the path he wants to take. He might just want to have his freeedom. He is thus torn between pushing harder at the slave camp, or to try harder to seek alternatives.
Truth of the week? The world is full of idiots, blondes are great to look at, slaving is shit, and that no one wants to share any truths with him.
Selfish bastards.
Thursday, July 28, 2005
Thursday, July 21, 2005
Where has all the time gone?
The Duff missed the blogosphere.
2 weeks gone. Once again The Duff has screwed up all his time management. Too many things occuring in his life. He has forsaken his pool, and various other social activities that he tries to partake in on a periodic basis.
For starters, he's been slaving his ass off(not literally of course). Many slave projects have been thrown at his slavery way. And he has slavenly scooped up all the slavery goodness of the slavery tasks. Such slavery slavenness should be slavishly sodomised.
Anyway, he's been assigned various projects recently which would have definitely raised his profile. As such, the MD thinks he is suitable for a perm post all too soon. While this news was certainly heartening to himself, he thinks that post would suck big time in the near future, since by the time he's there, another slave(who thinks he's adding much value to the company, "urgh") would be his boss. And that would be a majorly screwed up scenario to be in.
Also, The Duff doesn't want to be in too cushy a position in the slave camp. This would deter him from his escape plans.
The Duff's parents returned from the land far beyond this past week. Everytime they come back, the Duff's plans with his friends are always put on hold to accommodate their presence. It has become routine that even his friends know that he'd be unavailable and soon forget about him. Works both ways. However, its when he has friends who are less familiar with his predicament who would make some noise and shit. "Screw it," he says. Prioritise.
The world is still an ugly place. Recent developments in the local charity scene has been the talk of the town. How utterly boring that the main public is so slow to catch on bullshit that is squarely there in their face, and even force fed into their numbskulls ever so often by stunts performed by psuedo-celebrities. The Duff was much the wiser years hence. Such a braggart, and yet so wise. The world can be fair sometimes.
4 more booms in london. such a shame. terrorists are such pussies.
The Duff is over-spending. He is seriously worried about this. And his main vice, comics.
Now this is a horrible situation, as its one of his main de-stressing avenues, yet it is so costly to upkeep. Spending almost 400 bucks a month is way too much. While this might be aggravated by his little brother's penchant to demand and get his comics as well, he still thinks he should cut down. But to compromise on his own bliss, he finds it hard to do so. Everyone should have his own bliss. Compromise is such a dirty word.
The Duff's little bro just had his birthday. He is only 15 and he is almost the same size as Duff if not more so. The modern diet is really a powerful growth bitch. Must be all the steroids. The Duff really must restart his weights routine. But perhaps after he gets his new room done. Had to fix his bed and rework all his furniture. Excellent. He is now bonafidely Ikea-ed.
Ikano GO!
The Duff believes its all about how you spend your time. Plan it wisely, stick to your plans to a certain point, but give yourselves moments when spontaneity occurs. Those are the eternities between the seconds when life has more meaning.
This coming from The Duff, who has every clock available to him set 10 minutes ahead so that whenever he is in a rush, he forgets to backtrack and rushes himself more, believing he is 1o minutes later than he really is. Stupid. Yet effective. Especially when he remembers that he set them in advance. Its almost like finding time, just like loose change in a pocket. Always a pleasant surprise.
2 weeks gone. Once again The Duff has screwed up all his time management. Too many things occuring in his life. He has forsaken his pool, and various other social activities that he tries to partake in on a periodic basis.
For starters, he's been slaving his ass off(not literally of course). Many slave projects have been thrown at his slavery way. And he has slavenly scooped up all the slavery goodness of the slavery tasks. Such slavery slavenness should be slavishly sodomised.
Anyway, he's been assigned various projects recently which would have definitely raised his profile. As such, the MD thinks he is suitable for a perm post all too soon. While this news was certainly heartening to himself, he thinks that post would suck big time in the near future, since by the time he's there, another slave(who thinks he's adding much value to the company, "urgh") would be his boss. And that would be a majorly screwed up scenario to be in.
Also, The Duff doesn't want to be in too cushy a position in the slave camp. This would deter him from his escape plans.
The Duff's parents returned from the land far beyond this past week. Everytime they come back, the Duff's plans with his friends are always put on hold to accommodate their presence. It has become routine that even his friends know that he'd be unavailable and soon forget about him. Works both ways. However, its when he has friends who are less familiar with his predicament who would make some noise and shit. "Screw it," he says. Prioritise.
The world is still an ugly place. Recent developments in the local charity scene has been the talk of the town. How utterly boring that the main public is so slow to catch on bullshit that is squarely there in their face, and even force fed into their numbskulls ever so often by stunts performed by psuedo-celebrities. The Duff was much the wiser years hence. Such a braggart, and yet so wise. The world can be fair sometimes.
4 more booms in london. such a shame. terrorists are such pussies.
The Duff is over-spending. He is seriously worried about this. And his main vice, comics.
Now this is a horrible situation, as its one of his main de-stressing avenues, yet it is so costly to upkeep. Spending almost 400 bucks a month is way too much. While this might be aggravated by his little brother's penchant to demand and get his comics as well, he still thinks he should cut down. But to compromise on his own bliss, he finds it hard to do so. Everyone should have his own bliss. Compromise is such a dirty word.
The Duff's little bro just had his birthday. He is only 15 and he is almost the same size as Duff if not more so. The modern diet is really a powerful growth bitch. Must be all the steroids. The Duff really must restart his weights routine. But perhaps after he gets his new room done. Had to fix his bed and rework all his furniture. Excellent. He is now bonafidely Ikea-ed.
Ikano GO!
The Duff believes its all about how you spend your time. Plan it wisely, stick to your plans to a certain point, but give yourselves moments when spontaneity occurs. Those are the eternities between the seconds when life has more meaning.
This coming from The Duff, who has every clock available to him set 10 minutes ahead so that whenever he is in a rush, he forgets to backtrack and rushes himself more, believing he is 1o minutes later than he really is. Stupid. Yet effective. Especially when he remembers that he set them in advance. Its almost like finding time, just like loose change in a pocket. Always a pleasant surprise.
Saturday, July 09, 2005
Death and Destruction
The Duff has lost half of his Saturday to the Sandman. He's pissed.
Speaking of Sandman, Neil Gaiman came into his town this past week. Hordes of fans queued up for his autographs at the local Border's and Kinokuniya. For those not in the know, he is the author of the well known graphic novel series The Sandman and Marvel's 1602, as well as various other novels like Mirrormask and Neverwhere. Mostly fantasy stuff. The real kind that just grabs The Duff and dumps him in another dimension. But sometimes, he hates it. When it gets too ethereal. Too subtle. And his barbaric brain fails to process or understand the profound meanings behind the words and images.
Maybe he's just stupid.
War of the Worlds was an extremely good show. The Duff caught it on Wednesday. The sudden violence and random death was a welcome jolt to an otherwise lacklustre week at the slave camp. Once again, Spielberg proves to be a master of emotional sci-fi. The Duff thinks its actually quite a simple formula. Normal workday leads to sudden action and death from nowhere, leading to desperation, leading to more action, leading to quarrels, leading to action, leading to hugs, leading to more action, leading to more hugs and kisses, leading to final action scene and ending in redemption.
Another oscar in the bag. Even if it was bypassed by the large categories, some technical awards will always be given to the movie. And there's always the MTV Movie awards. Just as long as its not the Razzies The Duff says.
So the Duff was ending his Thursday slave day when his Maternal point of origin sends him a short message service over the ether, to inform him that London has been attacked by some sinister force, most probably human. A quick search on CNN.com lead him to some initial articles the contributors had put online, attributing to some incidents in the London underground and a bomb blast in a london bus that had caused it to be a mushroom in an instant. They had attributed the incidents in the underground as electrical of origin. But I could never see how that would cause people to come up to ground level covered in blood, and not necessarily theirs.
The HORROR, The HORROR!
Apparently it was by terrorists opposing the G8 summit. But it also came after the IOC voted for London as the host of the 2012 olympics. Double Whammy.
The Duff thinks that was quite a bit of blood for the week. And it had only been over a 2 day period, and half of the blood was a ketchup mixture of sorts, but still. Society can only numb itself as a form of self defence.
Truth of the week, blood sucks. And see how the Londoners handle it. Much better than the pussy Americans. The British are actually used to this sort of violence. They had lived through it for decades battling the Irish.
What were your truths these past week? let the Duff know.
Speaking of Sandman, Neil Gaiman came into his town this past week. Hordes of fans queued up for his autographs at the local Border's and Kinokuniya. For those not in the know, he is the author of the well known graphic novel series The Sandman and Marvel's 1602, as well as various other novels like Mirrormask and Neverwhere. Mostly fantasy stuff. The real kind that just grabs The Duff and dumps him in another dimension. But sometimes, he hates it. When it gets too ethereal. Too subtle. And his barbaric brain fails to process or understand the profound meanings behind the words and images.
Maybe he's just stupid.
War of the Worlds was an extremely good show. The Duff caught it on Wednesday. The sudden violence and random death was a welcome jolt to an otherwise lacklustre week at the slave camp. Once again, Spielberg proves to be a master of emotional sci-fi. The Duff thinks its actually quite a simple formula. Normal workday leads to sudden action and death from nowhere, leading to desperation, leading to more action, leading to quarrels, leading to action, leading to hugs, leading to more action, leading to more hugs and kisses, leading to final action scene and ending in redemption.
Another oscar in the bag. Even if it was bypassed by the large categories, some technical awards will always be given to the movie. And there's always the MTV Movie awards. Just as long as its not the Razzies The Duff says.
So the Duff was ending his Thursday slave day when his Maternal point of origin sends him a short message service over the ether, to inform him that London has been attacked by some sinister force, most probably human. A quick search on CNN.com lead him to some initial articles the contributors had put online, attributing to some incidents in the London underground and a bomb blast in a london bus that had caused it to be a mushroom in an instant. They had attributed the incidents in the underground as electrical of origin. But I could never see how that would cause people to come up to ground level covered in blood, and not necessarily theirs.
The HORROR, The HORROR!
Apparently it was by terrorists opposing the G8 summit. But it also came after the IOC voted for London as the host of the 2012 olympics. Double Whammy.
The Duff thinks that was quite a bit of blood for the week. And it had only been over a 2 day period, and half of the blood was a ketchup mixture of sorts, but still. Society can only numb itself as a form of self defence.
Truth of the week, blood sucks. And see how the Londoners handle it. Much better than the pussy Americans. The British are actually used to this sort of violence. They had lived through it for decades battling the Irish.
What were your truths these past week? let the Duff know.
Saturday, July 02, 2005
13 days later
So, the Duff is back once again, after a 13 day absence. Well, for that, this blog shall have 13 paragraphs.
That was 1.
Above was 2.
All right. The Duff was involved in some highly secretive exercises at work. While divulging this would be tantamount to screwing himself up the arse, he would just like to say that while it was a serious situation, the exercise itself was as futile as digging one's ears with a fork. Painful and useless. But, The Duff thinks it was good to be out of the office. For too much sitting would only lead to a highly gravitated ass.
The Duff caught some movies inbetween these 13 days. He caught Batman Begins the other week. Excellent comic book movie, or just a movie by itself(without the 70 year baggage of continuity, forgetting the Crisis of the inifinite Earths reset). Did you know that Batman once used a gun? This eventhough his parents were gunned down before his very young eyes?! Yesiree BOB!
Is Batman still gay?
6. Halfway there.
Just last night The Duff caught Initial D. Yes he did. In spite of all the prejudice that the entire society places on him for his ineffectual use of his mother tongue, he still likes to watch the occasional asian production of very well executed cinematic techniques. While the acting left much to be desired, the effects were cool and the story not all that bad. Put in a young nubile wide-eyed actress and it all fits for The Duff as a weekend popcorn entertainment. No doubt the $9.50 price tag was steep, but what the heck.
He had supper version 1 at outram; fish porridge with raw fish and frog legs as side dishes. Indulgence was satisfying. Conversation was flowing. Goodwill was all around. The Duff got fatter. No biggie. Not yet anyhow.
He then had supper version 2 at the macdonalds at east coast park. Fries and a coke. A world apart, but no less satisfying. A different group, a different conversation. But fun likewise. The Duff wishes to thank those who were present, and who tolerated his madness in staying up so late. He only got home at 5.30am. He had been awake a full 24hrs.
3 More.Time to close. He notices that grammar and normal sentence punctuation has left the building with Elvis.
So, Truths for the last 13 days? Its a hard world out there. money is but a tool. passion is important in life. women are the devil. married men can be bitches. pool on slanted tables are fun. and macdonalds make piss ass coffee. which are of course, free-flow.
What were your truths these last few months? time for a mid year review of your life. contemplate and relate. educate. disseminate. This has been a Duff mental puke. Peace out.
That was 1.
Above was 2.
All right. The Duff was involved in some highly secretive exercises at work. While divulging this would be tantamount to screwing himself up the arse, he would just like to say that while it was a serious situation, the exercise itself was as futile as digging one's ears with a fork. Painful and useless. But, The Duff thinks it was good to be out of the office. For too much sitting would only lead to a highly gravitated ass.
The Duff caught some movies inbetween these 13 days. He caught Batman Begins the other week. Excellent comic book movie, or just a movie by itself(without the 70 year baggage of continuity, forgetting the Crisis of the inifinite Earths reset). Did you know that Batman once used a gun? This eventhough his parents were gunned down before his very young eyes?! Yesiree BOB!
Is Batman still gay?
6. Halfway there.
Just last night The Duff caught Initial D. Yes he did. In spite of all the prejudice that the entire society places on him for his ineffectual use of his mother tongue, he still likes to watch the occasional asian production of very well executed cinematic techniques. While the acting left much to be desired, the effects were cool and the story not all that bad. Put in a young nubile wide-eyed actress and it all fits for The Duff as a weekend popcorn entertainment. No doubt the $9.50 price tag was steep, but what the heck.
He had supper version 1 at outram; fish porridge with raw fish and frog legs as side dishes. Indulgence was satisfying. Conversation was flowing. Goodwill was all around. The Duff got fatter. No biggie. Not yet anyhow.
He then had supper version 2 at the macdonalds at east coast park. Fries and a coke. A world apart, but no less satisfying. A different group, a different conversation. But fun likewise. The Duff wishes to thank those who were present, and who tolerated his madness in staying up so late. He only got home at 5.30am. He had been awake a full 24hrs.
3 More.Time to close. He notices that grammar and normal sentence punctuation has left the building with Elvis.
So, Truths for the last 13 days? Its a hard world out there. money is but a tool. passion is important in life. women are the devil. married men can be bitches. pool on slanted tables are fun. and macdonalds make piss ass coffee. which are of course, free-flow.
What were your truths these last few months? time for a mid year review of your life. contemplate and relate. educate. disseminate. This has been a Duff mental puke. Peace out.
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