Friday, June 30, 2006
Friday, June 23, 2006
Lifestyles of the Lazy and Indulgent
Haven't been doing too much lately. Gaining the pounds like Arnold at the onset of puberty, only the mass is of a different density. Mine's a little more huggable. And they congregate beautifully at my abdomen, and form a support function while i bend over the table while I type, click, ogle and absorb the world through the cynical minds of others. My only gripe are the lines they form, which are only visible when I stand up and look in the mirror. Wonderfully deep, long-lasting lines to show where my body folded while my spine lost its perfect lumbar poise.
Been hitting the sack a whole lot more too, and during the day. Yeah, sucks to those who can't. But then again, I should enjoy it while it lasts. Hopefully it won't be long now before I start dressing up, looking good and waltz around Raffles Place during office hours, hahahaa!
Anyway, 1 piece of advice. Try not to nap under the sun, or intense light. I've got a theory. I seem to get the most fucked up dreams that money can't buy when I sleep under such conditions. It happened to me twice just yesterday. The first was a 20 min short nap, but I felt
like I had 10 short nightmares in that timespan. And they were trippy. I was in those side-scrolling game environments, from the Sega days, like Mickey's journey into Castle Transylvania,
or Sonic the Hedgehog, that kinda game. And the games were always those "scarier" types, like
with zombies, monsters and freaks who wanna screw you in the ass. And eventhough I know its only a game, and I can kill them by throwing apples that do not get affected by projectile motion or gravity, I still felt the fear, and anxiety, and that I had to run faster, swing further, catch the other fucking vine else I'd perish below the television-scape, and of course, throw them apples.
Not trippy enough?
I had another dream later in the day, or rather, evening. I know, not as bright, but i still had my room lights on. And one of my bulbs have started buzzing, damn motherfucker. If only i had the impetus to get the ladder and unscrew that irritating bulb. Anyways, this second dream took 3 hours, and all i did was surf around (like Silver Surfer) on a mirror about the size of a hobo's house, in a dark and dank carpark, which had a shit load of ramps, humps, old cadillacs, blinking lamps, and one heckuva view from its roof. The skies were post apocalyptic, stormy with lightning, windy and super dark clouds blowing in. The ceilings were always leaking and I was always fleeing from some asshole, always running(surfing) on my mirror, and I'd always worry that it'd crack when I'm descending the ramps. Cos once it breaks, I'd have to actually use my legs and run.
Maybe that would have done my new weight some good. But man, my mind is fucked.
And in the mornings, i can't remember any dreams i had during the proper sleeping hours. must've been good dreams. bloody selfish subconscious.
Been baking some brownies with my lil' bro's new oven. Quite fun. Eating them that is. Finally found the formula of converting farenheit to celsius. it is minus 32, then divide by 9 then multiply by 5. Commit it to memory, and appear cool with the chicks who give a flying fuck.
Hmm... a flying fuck......
Been paper trading. making good paper money. sonuvabitch.
Roller bladed the other day, after 2 years. Didn't fall, but moved like a pussy. Legs like a virgin. Gotta get my own skates back. Somebody remind me, please.
Been "watching" the world cup. Making good money in that too. inconsequential, but good fun. Can't be left behind by the other 3 billion people tuning in. Gotta keep my finger on the pulse.
I want Spain to win. I don't care.
outta here. this post sucks.
Been hitting the sack a whole lot more too, and during the day. Yeah, sucks to those who can't. But then again, I should enjoy it while it lasts. Hopefully it won't be long now before I start dressing up, looking good and waltz around Raffles Place during office hours, hahahaa!
Anyway, 1 piece of advice. Try not to nap under the sun, or intense light. I've got a theory. I seem to get the most fucked up dreams that money can't buy when I sleep under such conditions. It happened to me twice just yesterday. The first was a 20 min short nap, but I felt
like I had 10 short nightmares in that timespan. And they were trippy. I was in those side-scrolling game environments, from the Sega days, like Mickey's journey into Castle Transylvania,
or Sonic the Hedgehog, that kinda game. And the games were always those "scarier" types, like
with zombies, monsters and freaks who wanna screw you in the ass. And eventhough I know its only a game, and I can kill them by throwing apples that do not get affected by projectile motion or gravity, I still felt the fear, and anxiety, and that I had to run faster, swing further, catch the other fucking vine else I'd perish below the television-scape, and of course, throw them apples.
Not trippy enough?
I had another dream later in the day, or rather, evening. I know, not as bright, but i still had my room lights on. And one of my bulbs have started buzzing, damn motherfucker. If only i had the impetus to get the ladder and unscrew that irritating bulb. Anyways, this second dream took 3 hours, and all i did was surf around (like Silver Surfer) on a mirror about the size of a hobo's house, in a dark and dank carpark, which had a shit load of ramps, humps, old cadillacs, blinking lamps, and one heckuva view from its roof. The skies were post apocalyptic, stormy with lightning, windy and super dark clouds blowing in. The ceilings were always leaking and I was always fleeing from some asshole, always running(surfing) on my mirror, and I'd always worry that it'd crack when I'm descending the ramps. Cos once it breaks, I'd have to actually use my legs and run.
Maybe that would have done my new weight some good. But man, my mind is fucked.
And in the mornings, i can't remember any dreams i had during the proper sleeping hours. must've been good dreams. bloody selfish subconscious.
Been baking some brownies with my lil' bro's new oven. Quite fun. Eating them that is. Finally found the formula of converting farenheit to celsius. it is minus 32, then divide by 9 then multiply by 5. Commit it to memory, and appear cool with the chicks who give a flying fuck.
Hmm... a flying fuck......
Been paper trading. making good paper money. sonuvabitch.
Roller bladed the other day, after 2 years. Didn't fall, but moved like a pussy. Legs like a virgin. Gotta get my own skates back. Somebody remind me, please.
Been "watching" the world cup. Making good money in that too. inconsequential, but good fun. Can't be left behind by the other 3 billion people tuning in. Gotta keep my finger on the pulse.
I want Spain to win. I don't care.
outta here. this post sucks.
Shorts: The First
“I can’t go to sleep, Dad. Tell me a story. Tell me of the war.”
“I’m tired, Son. Go to sleep.”
“But please, Dad. Just a short bit. Tell me what you did in the war, and what happened thereafter. Just a little? “
“Oh all right. Get comfortable. Here, put your head on my lap. It was a long time ago, when I was not much older than you are now. It happened in the year 2027……”
************************************************************************
The bombs were launched a little after midnight, and balls of fire poured down from the heavens over New York, Washington and all major cities in the North-East. They said it was the North Koreans, but we’d never know the truth, even to this day. There were rumours that it was the Americans themselves whom that war started that day.
The skyscrapers, parks, national monuments and hundreds of suburbs were wiped out in an instant. Hundreds of thousands died in the first few seconds, and many more wished they did. The economy crumbled as Wall Street was destroyed, and started the domino effect that crashed every developed nation’s economy. Amidst the chaos that ensued, local militias in the south, the South American armies and drug cartels, terrorist cells and gangs of all ethnicities began their quick descent on the meek and the weak. The government forces in their compromised state were spread thin across their own nation. The entire country fell into anarchy.
As such, the United Nations relocated to our tiny island, here in the southernmost tip of the Eurasian continent. They saw a vibrant community with an excellent infrastructure and spotless governance over its people. By 2030, the world was back on its feet, minus the misbegotten empire that was The United States of America. Only the British, in their misguided attempt to cling to worlds past, tried in vain to help the once proud nation.
The tiny island grew in power and stature, and it wasn’t long before it was deemed unnecessary to think of itself as separate from the United Nations, which was giving the entire nation its economy by gravitating multinational corporations and itself requiring an army of industry to feed its voracious appetites. The island gave up its national identity and assimilated itself into the global association. Its armies, treasuries, influence and people were united in this action, and in essence became servants to the global community.
The S.E.A. war began in 2038. The demand on the lands on the island was just not sustainable. The surrounding nations, in fear of being invaded, decided to attack first, to attain first blood. Naturally they were pushed back, and then the real invasion plans were put into action, since the island, and the United Nations now had the reasons to. It lasted only 1 year. With surgical precision and minimal global involvement, the island became a region.
************************************************************************
“I was a mere tank commander, supporting the troops to gain footholds in villages and cities that had been their defenses pulverized by our warships and air might. It was relatively easy. The people were welcoming. It was the governments that tried to hold on.
Are you still listening, son? Son? Huh, guess not. These old stories are as interesting as a stray cat. Ah. How I miss my glory days. Before the Amalgams came to the fore.”
“I’m tired, Son. Go to sleep.”
“But please, Dad. Just a short bit. Tell me what you did in the war, and what happened thereafter. Just a little? “
“Oh all right. Get comfortable. Here, put your head on my lap. It was a long time ago, when I was not much older than you are now. It happened in the year 2027……”
************************************************************************
The bombs were launched a little after midnight, and balls of fire poured down from the heavens over New York, Washington and all major cities in the North-East. They said it was the North Koreans, but we’d never know the truth, even to this day. There were rumours that it was the Americans themselves whom that war started that day.
The skyscrapers, parks, national monuments and hundreds of suburbs were wiped out in an instant. Hundreds of thousands died in the first few seconds, and many more wished they did. The economy crumbled as Wall Street was destroyed, and started the domino effect that crashed every developed nation’s economy. Amidst the chaos that ensued, local militias in the south, the South American armies and drug cartels, terrorist cells and gangs of all ethnicities began their quick descent on the meek and the weak. The government forces in their compromised state were spread thin across their own nation. The entire country fell into anarchy.
As such, the United Nations relocated to our tiny island, here in the southernmost tip of the Eurasian continent. They saw a vibrant community with an excellent infrastructure and spotless governance over its people. By 2030, the world was back on its feet, minus the misbegotten empire that was The United States of America. Only the British, in their misguided attempt to cling to worlds past, tried in vain to help the once proud nation.
The tiny island grew in power and stature, and it wasn’t long before it was deemed unnecessary to think of itself as separate from the United Nations, which was giving the entire nation its economy by gravitating multinational corporations and itself requiring an army of industry to feed its voracious appetites. The island gave up its national identity and assimilated itself into the global association. Its armies, treasuries, influence and people were united in this action, and in essence became servants to the global community.
The S.E.A. war began in 2038. The demand on the lands on the island was just not sustainable. The surrounding nations, in fear of being invaded, decided to attack first, to attain first blood. Naturally they were pushed back, and then the real invasion plans were put into action, since the island, and the United Nations now had the reasons to. It lasted only 1 year. With surgical precision and minimal global involvement, the island became a region.
************************************************************************
“I was a mere tank commander, supporting the troops to gain footholds in villages and cities that had been their defenses pulverized by our warships and air might. It was relatively easy. The people were welcoming. It was the governments that tried to hold on.
Are you still listening, son? Son? Huh, guess not. These old stories are as interesting as a stray cat. Ah. How I miss my glory days. Before the Amalgams came to the fore.”
Friday, June 16, 2006
How the Hell?!
Have you ever gone into the kitchen from your bedroom, and then forget why you went there to begin with? You ever wiped your arse, then take another wipe cause you can’t remember whether the last wipe was really clean? Ever lathered your hair with soap, and your body with shampoo? Ever brushed your teeth with someone else’s toothbrush by mistake? Ever gone into a warzone dressed as a bulls-eye target?
This very morning, I decided to pump petrol as it was bright and early, and the air misted with fresh dewdrops from heaven. I eased my car into the lot at the SPC station along Siglap Road, and gave my order to the pump attendant.
Immediately, I felt something was amiss. There was a certain lack of warmth, almost bordering on hostility. I couldn't quite put my finger on it. I attributed it to the early hours, and left it at that. It must’ve been quite a long shift for the uncle there.
I entered the shop and browsed, knowing full well roughly how long the tank took to fill up. I also needed some car wash solution. I walked through every isle, flipped through the magazine rack and analysed the varied items on the car products shelf.
I finally queue up for payment, and the cashier almost growls at me as I pass her my purchases and gives her my pump number. I was amused at all the unhappiness emanating from all the staff at the site. Its almost as if the big boss had just screwed them or something. I made my payments, and happily returned to the car. I even waved a note of thanks to the uncle as I got in. He grudgingly returned the motion.
As bemused as I was, I left the station feeling a little shortchanged. For all the positivity that I gave off, I didn’t even get a single smile in return? Then I pondered as to why I’m so chirpy this fine morning. Perhaps it was the fine breakfast I was then going to have once I reach home, or just the cool weather and friendly sun, or the bright blue Shell polo t-shirt I have on, the one I got from my previous job, the one that said Shell fuels are better as they give better mileage, the very Shell fuel that wasn’t being pumped into my car……….
No fucking wonder!!!!
I laughed my ass all the way home. It was so ridiculous. And then I remember how smug I was the whole time I was there. Hilarious.
The Truth? I screwed up, by not being fully aware of myself and my surroundings. It is alarming that I didn’t notice. Have I gotten to that stage where things in my face may not occur to me to be there?
Worrying, truly worrying.
When was the last time you did something like that?
This very morning, I decided to pump petrol as it was bright and early, and the air misted with fresh dewdrops from heaven. I eased my car into the lot at the SPC station along Siglap Road, and gave my order to the pump attendant.
Immediately, I felt something was amiss. There was a certain lack of warmth, almost bordering on hostility. I couldn't quite put my finger on it. I attributed it to the early hours, and left it at that. It must’ve been quite a long shift for the uncle there.
I entered the shop and browsed, knowing full well roughly how long the tank took to fill up. I also needed some car wash solution. I walked through every isle, flipped through the magazine rack and analysed the varied items on the car products shelf.
I finally queue up for payment, and the cashier almost growls at me as I pass her my purchases and gives her my pump number. I was amused at all the unhappiness emanating from all the staff at the site. Its almost as if the big boss had just screwed them or something. I made my payments, and happily returned to the car. I even waved a note of thanks to the uncle as I got in. He grudgingly returned the motion.
As bemused as I was, I left the station feeling a little shortchanged. For all the positivity that I gave off, I didn’t even get a single smile in return? Then I pondered as to why I’m so chirpy this fine morning. Perhaps it was the fine breakfast I was then going to have once I reach home, or just the cool weather and friendly sun, or the bright blue Shell polo t-shirt I have on, the one I got from my previous job, the one that said Shell fuels are better as they give better mileage, the very Shell fuel that wasn’t being pumped into my car……….
No fucking wonder!!!!
I laughed my ass all the way home. It was so ridiculous. And then I remember how smug I was the whole time I was there. Hilarious.
The Truth? I screwed up, by not being fully aware of myself and my surroundings. It is alarming that I didn’t notice. Have I gotten to that stage where things in my face may not occur to me to be there?
Worrying, truly worrying.
When was the last time you did something like that?
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
*Wing*Wing* Blogging to the soundtrack of life
Currently playing: "Bicycle Race"
In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.
Somehow this exquisite piece of common sense had been bouncing in my head this morning. I suppose it pertains to my getting through the 1st interview on Monday (Thank you thank you, *politician-styled wave*). Sure it felt great, getting through that round. Then the anxiety attacks came, as the follow up sessions are just next week. NEXT WEEK!!! HOLY SHIT!
Currently playing: "Under Pressure"
But then news started trickling in. I‘ve got my sources. I’ve got intelligence. I’ve got the inside track. And while the news gave me strength, it may also lead to my folly, from overconfidence. Complacency has been my greatest vice since time immemorial; my misguided optimism coming in at a close 2nd.
Currently playing: "Bohemian Rhapsody"
It reminded me of trading. Overconfidence leads to complacency, which in turn causes overly aggressive risk-taking to arise and finally, the big fall from grace. Oh the pain of such mistakes will sting your soul. Its like the guilt from not studying for an easy exam. Such a waste.
Currently playing: "Another One Bites The Dust"
I’m actually looking forward to starting on this job, much as a surprise as that may be to you (uhhum, I write for YOU, my audience. I don’t just bitch for the sake of bitching, but rather to educate and share, and to force my existence onto any who stumbles unto this little binary facade). The interviewer was cool, giving me more meat to the job description. Apparently if I am selected, I would be working on a large project for the next 6 months, on top of other things. That just excited me to no end. I have no idea why. But upon further reflection, I think I’d discovered THE REASON.
Currently playing: "Heaven For Everyone"
I am actually quite lost, in terms of direction in life. For all those recently tuning in, my life had taken quite a few bumps just this year, derailing most of my best-laid plans which were formulated quite a while back. Of course, being a resilient and effervescent member of this concept called humanity, I have to balance and mange whatever curveballs life, the fates and all other gods decide to throw my way. Rolling with the punches and getting up to return two uppercuts, that’s the way to go.
Currently playing: "The Show Must Go On"
And therefore, getting this job would mean quite a bit. In fact, it would realign my destiny with another plan I had made even earlier than the last, when my mind was less cluttered by Ponzi schemes and the like, a simpler path that nevertheless would eventually lead me to my goal(s). It may actually be one that is smoother, without the bottomless crevices by the sides, awaiting for me to slip up on the wet, glistening moss, like the gaping maw of a megalodon , yearning for my loss of balance. I believe I set that for myself 15 years ago. And they say kids say the truest things. I was a smart kid.
Currently playing: "We Are the Champions"
So I am not going to take things for granted anymore. I really have to work for what I want in life, and not to just wait for things to fall into my lap. My luck will eventually run out sometime, much as its my namesake, and things seem to work out for me thus far. I went through my book of goals recently , and discovered that I haven’t met any of my short term ones, save for passing my IPPT. Pathetic really.
Currently playing: "We Will Rock You"
Thus, for next week’s round 2, I have started reading up on the relevant topics. Let’s see if I’m just talking the talk and not walking the walk. I hope that putting it out here would push me to strive further and faster too. Afterall, I have to start living up to the expectations of you 3 once again, my loving audience.
Currently playing: "Who Wants To Live Forever"
In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.
Somehow this exquisite piece of common sense had been bouncing in my head this morning. I suppose it pertains to my getting through the 1st interview on Monday (Thank you thank you, *politician-styled wave*). Sure it felt great, getting through that round. Then the anxiety attacks came, as the follow up sessions are just next week. NEXT WEEK!!! HOLY SHIT!
Currently playing: "Under Pressure"
But then news started trickling in. I‘ve got my sources. I’ve got intelligence. I’ve got the inside track. And while the news gave me strength, it may also lead to my folly, from overconfidence. Complacency has been my greatest vice since time immemorial; my misguided optimism coming in at a close 2nd.
Currently playing: "Bohemian Rhapsody"
It reminded me of trading. Overconfidence leads to complacency, which in turn causes overly aggressive risk-taking to arise and finally, the big fall from grace. Oh the pain of such mistakes will sting your soul. Its like the guilt from not studying for an easy exam. Such a waste.
Currently playing: "Another One Bites The Dust"
I’m actually looking forward to starting on this job, much as a surprise as that may be to you (uhhum, I write for YOU, my audience. I don’t just bitch for the sake of bitching, but rather to educate and share, and to force my existence onto any who stumbles unto this little binary facade). The interviewer was cool, giving me more meat to the job description. Apparently if I am selected, I would be working on a large project for the next 6 months, on top of other things. That just excited me to no end. I have no idea why. But upon further reflection, I think I’d discovered THE REASON.
Currently playing: "Heaven For Everyone"
I am actually quite lost, in terms of direction in life. For all those recently tuning in, my life had taken quite a few bumps just this year, derailing most of my best-laid plans which were formulated quite a while back. Of course, being a resilient and effervescent member of this concept called humanity, I have to balance and mange whatever curveballs life, the fates and all other gods decide to throw my way. Rolling with the punches and getting up to return two uppercuts, that’s the way to go.
Currently playing: "The Show Must Go On"
And therefore, getting this job would mean quite a bit. In fact, it would realign my destiny with another plan I had made even earlier than the last, when my mind was less cluttered by Ponzi schemes and the like, a simpler path that nevertheless would eventually lead me to my goal(s). It may actually be one that is smoother, without the bottomless crevices by the sides, awaiting for me to slip up on the wet, glistening moss, like the gaping maw of a megalodon , yearning for my loss of balance. I believe I set that for myself 15 years ago. And they say kids say the truest things. I was a smart kid.
Currently playing: "We Are the Champions"
So I am not going to take things for granted anymore. I really have to work for what I want in life, and not to just wait for things to fall into my lap. My luck will eventually run out sometime, much as its my namesake, and things seem to work out for me thus far. I went through my book of goals recently , and discovered that I haven’t met any of my short term ones, save for passing my IPPT. Pathetic really.
Currently playing: "We Will Rock You"
Thus, for next week’s round 2, I have started reading up on the relevant topics. Let’s see if I’m just talking the talk and not walking the walk. I hope that putting it out here would push me to strive further and faster too. Afterall, I have to start living up to the expectations of you 3 once again, my loving audience.
Currently playing: "Who Wants To Live Forever"
Monday, June 12, 2006
A quick update for the dying
Today is June 12th.
Fuck. Get ready for a ramble.
Just had an interview a while ago. This morning. Why? Why am I heading back to work for another? For others? Simple reason. I screwed up. Big time.
(Shit, I ‘m speaking as if I’d already gotten the job. I’d soon know though, by the end of today.)
I’d lost most of my trading capital earlier last week, and the final nail on the coffin was hammered in on 6/6/06. Yes, how apt. The Morningstar shoved his fiery pitch fork up my ass for sure. Delightfully, gleefully, slowly…… And yet, I almost feel nothing. Its just another step. I’m not in shock, nor in depression. Its almost weird. Its supposed to be traumatic. Am I that zen? I miss feeling stuff. FUCK!!!!!
And I’d just watched, as a buck would at approaching headlights. Damn, that looks pretty. So bright. So alluring. I was at my wits’ end. I knew I’d lost all my discipline. And entered the markets blindly. Theory went out the window, 5 miles before self control and 2 miles after desperation. This when my fellow traders are reaching their tipping points and posting really interesting shit on the blogs. Ahead of my time, or lagging far behind? You decide.
So I swallowed my pride and applied for a job. Pretty quickly actually. Within a day I’d gotten a reply and an interview date, which was this morning. And I fucked it up gloriously. Another case of the headlights. I really have to start controlling my destiny and make the best of what fate throws at me. Somebody wake up my idea, please!
Sigh… on to things of a lighter nature.
Lindsay Lohan’s album sucks. Nelly Furtado’s weird and all sexed up. Keane’s album came early, and was a treat for the ears and the soul. I realized that I don’t really know much about Robbie Williams, I’ve yet to sample the Ramones’ Greatest Hits album, I have 13 out of the top 20 albums purchased at HMV, Angels and Airwaves are cool and The Animaniacs soundtrack brings a smile to my face.
I tried to add google ads to my blog for some side income, cause the 3 of you who visit my site may accidentally click on them and thus, giving me some much needed ka-ching. One can always hope and wish. Anyways, I tried to authorize and confirm that I want the ads there, but the system screws up, and now there’s an ad, but I ain’t getting’ a single cent from its clicks, yo! That sucks majorly!
(Fuck, Microsoft word doesn’t recognize the word google. LOSER! It’s a number, for fuck’s sake!)
Went to the Pc convention the other weekend. Bought a pussy ass speaker system that totally matches El Cheapo. I’m happy, In spite of having to rub shoulders with a million other geeks and nerds. And I really mean it when I say, A FUCKING MILLION!
My table arrived. I assembled it. Perfect. Then I sat down, and realized the table;s too high. Its been a week, and I’m still too damn lazy to adjust the legs. I’d just have to get a higher chair. Lucky me, one more chance to shop.
Oh yeah, shopping. I was at TopMan the other day. I spent 200 bucks on me, myself and I. Not bad, 60 bucks each way. Quite cheap. And damn, they look good.
The World Cup started last week too. 22 men running after a ball, cheered on by billions around the world. A spectacle to behold. An escape to dive into. Another opportunity to make money. Me, I’m up by a little, according to my unreliable bookie. Then again… he IS unreliable.
Haven’t been reading up on the news. Nor my comic websites. Nor done much writing of any sort. Nor been socializing. I’d done some reading. That much is interesting. Was just reading a book today, a collection of short stories by Gabriel Garcia Marquez, winner of the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1982. Columbian. Told you conflict spurs creativity. Anyway, his shit really hits it in, with full blown morbidity and feelings. At first glance I wanted to write like him, in its full flavoured descriptions and imagery. On 2nd thoughts, hell no! The dude’s so obviously messed up. Its frightening the world his mind exists in. I’m also reading Blink by Malcolm Gladwell, and Lucifer Vol.4 by Mike Carey. All excellent in their own right. Wonder how much they’d suffered for their craft.
Are there biographies of people who write biographies of people? Hmm…..
Wow, this posting is going nowhere. I apologise for wasting your time. Do come back whenever my sanity returns. I’ll let you know. Telepathically.
*wing*wing*wing*wing*wing*wing*wing*
Back to sunbathing on my bed. That’s the life!
Fuck. Get ready for a ramble.
Just had an interview a while ago. This morning. Why? Why am I heading back to work for another? For others? Simple reason. I screwed up. Big time.
(Shit, I ‘m speaking as if I’d already gotten the job. I’d soon know though, by the end of today.)
I’d lost most of my trading capital earlier last week, and the final nail on the coffin was hammered in on 6/6/06. Yes, how apt. The Morningstar shoved his fiery pitch fork up my ass for sure. Delightfully, gleefully, slowly…… And yet, I almost feel nothing. Its just another step. I’m not in shock, nor in depression. Its almost weird. Its supposed to be traumatic. Am I that zen? I miss feeling stuff. FUCK!!!!!
And I’d just watched, as a buck would at approaching headlights. Damn, that looks pretty. So bright. So alluring. I was at my wits’ end. I knew I’d lost all my discipline. And entered the markets blindly. Theory went out the window, 5 miles before self control and 2 miles after desperation. This when my fellow traders are reaching their tipping points and posting really interesting shit on the blogs. Ahead of my time, or lagging far behind? You decide.
So I swallowed my pride and applied for a job. Pretty quickly actually. Within a day I’d gotten a reply and an interview date, which was this morning. And I fucked it up gloriously. Another case of the headlights. I really have to start controlling my destiny and make the best of what fate throws at me. Somebody wake up my idea, please!
Sigh… on to things of a lighter nature.
Lindsay Lohan’s album sucks. Nelly Furtado’s weird and all sexed up. Keane’s album came early, and was a treat for the ears and the soul. I realized that I don’t really know much about Robbie Williams, I’ve yet to sample the Ramones’ Greatest Hits album, I have 13 out of the top 20 albums purchased at HMV, Angels and Airwaves are cool and The Animaniacs soundtrack brings a smile to my face.
I tried to add google ads to my blog for some side income, cause the 3 of you who visit my site may accidentally click on them and thus, giving me some much needed ka-ching. One can always hope and wish. Anyways, I tried to authorize and confirm that I want the ads there, but the system screws up, and now there’s an ad, but I ain’t getting’ a single cent from its clicks, yo! That sucks majorly!
(Fuck, Microsoft word doesn’t recognize the word google. LOSER! It’s a number, for fuck’s sake!)
Went to the Pc convention the other weekend. Bought a pussy ass speaker system that totally matches El Cheapo. I’m happy, In spite of having to rub shoulders with a million other geeks and nerds. And I really mean it when I say, A FUCKING MILLION!
My table arrived. I assembled it. Perfect. Then I sat down, and realized the table;s too high. Its been a week, and I’m still too damn lazy to adjust the legs. I’d just have to get a higher chair. Lucky me, one more chance to shop.
Oh yeah, shopping. I was at TopMan the other day. I spent 200 bucks on me, myself and I. Not bad, 60 bucks each way. Quite cheap. And damn, they look good.
The World Cup started last week too. 22 men running after a ball, cheered on by billions around the world. A spectacle to behold. An escape to dive into. Another opportunity to make money. Me, I’m up by a little, according to my unreliable bookie. Then again… he IS unreliable.
Haven’t been reading up on the news. Nor my comic websites. Nor done much writing of any sort. Nor been socializing. I’d done some reading. That much is interesting. Was just reading a book today, a collection of short stories by Gabriel Garcia Marquez, winner of the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1982. Columbian. Told you conflict spurs creativity. Anyway, his shit really hits it in, with full blown morbidity and feelings. At first glance I wanted to write like him, in its full flavoured descriptions and imagery. On 2nd thoughts, hell no! The dude’s so obviously messed up. Its frightening the world his mind exists in. I’m also reading Blink by Malcolm Gladwell, and Lucifer Vol.4 by Mike Carey. All excellent in their own right. Wonder how much they’d suffered for their craft.
Are there biographies of people who write biographies of people? Hmm…..
Wow, this posting is going nowhere. I apologise for wasting your time. Do come back whenever my sanity returns. I’ll let you know. Telepathically.
*wing*wing*wing*wing*wing*wing*wing*
Back to sunbathing on my bed. That’s the life!
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