I've been feeling like I'm in a dream state of late.
Like I'm floating through life like the smoke from spiral incense hung overhead, those big grand things that move on their own accord. And you know, sometimes, the smoke seems to follow a path, like it has a mind of its own, and not really just going with the wind? That's how I've been feeling.
Big change in my life. I'm single again. Its been quite a while. Quite a long while.
My own doing, of course. Perhaps I'm at my self-destructive tendencies again. Then again, it wasn't an impulsive decision. It was painful, yet inevitable. Funny, this thing called the human pathos.
The road ahead now looks more ominous then ever. I can see the mountain whose peak I will eventually reach, but right ahead is another steep, sandy and uneven road, with rocks and all sort of other debris.
Thankfully I do have my friends around me. Not everyone is as lucky however.
Back to my world of numbers and words, of music and art and life. The Renaissance continues as planned.
What has your truth been thus far?
Monday, April 24, 2006
Saturday, April 15, 2006
Post-Dated, Pre-Checked, Pre-Fabbed and QC-ed
Half the month came, fucked me up, and went.
April Fool's was interesting. My father was due to arrive at the airport, and for awhile, i was afraid that he wouldn't turn up after i'd waited for him at the gate, cos it was April Fool's. It was the dumbest thing. Of course he turned up. With the alcohol I ordered. Derrick, if you are reading, I'm all set. Black Label and Chivas.
So my parents were in town for the first 2 weeks of the month. Nice to have them around, although my life does it interrupted quite a bit. My car disappears in the mornings, and whenever I want it, it wouldn't be available. Life's like that. You never get what you want, when you want it. As I've said many times, the fates are cruel.
My toilet pipe burst the other day. Its very surreal to see an indoor fountainin your house, when the night before, it was just a flight of stairs. The water flowed from my 2nd floor toilet, down the stairs, flooding the whole 1st floor, and finally out the main gate. Quite a journey. Quite a water bill coming next month. Took the whole morning to dry up. Thankfully the damage was minimal, and no one died from electrocution, which was a very possible likelihood.
Due to this flooding, my brother was late getting to school. One of the discipline masters called me up and reprimanded, in a sense, that my lil' bro should get to school in a timely fashion. I tried to pacify the prick by saying there was a fucking flood at home, and it was my fault getting out of the house late. He replies by saying that they only look at the matter superficially, and that he is just late, end of story.
I almost opened a case of verbal whoop-ass on the muthafucka! As if superficiality is a virtue, that sonuvabitch. Self-righteous cunny bastard. I'd never liked teachers, and this instance reminded me totally why. Its because of their high and mighty authority over the kids that have made them drunk with power.
In future, please constantly remind the teachers of your children of their real status is life. And ask them to really do something worthwhile with their lives. Like really teach things that are worth teaching.
My trading had taken a downturn once again. In spite of better discipline, the road is still long, and steep. Am I doing this to myself? Pretty sure, to a certain extent. I wonder how long more can I keep this up. Really a test of character. I'll keep you guys posted here.
Been loving the weather lately. Melancholic. Makes you just want to grovel in self pity and jump into your bed and pillows. Hide under the covers while the thunder rages around you. April Showers. Love them.
Doesn't help that my birthday lies during this period. And birthdays are, in a sense, a new year. A new start. A time once again to reflect on your accomplishments, or lack thereof. Pain and regret always appear, in my reflections. Been listening to Pearl Jam's Present Tense.
Of course, joy and bliss peek out from behind the clouds, embodied by the silver lining. Celebrate whenever you can, my friends. Life's too short, as they say.
Sorry for this rant. Order and regularity to ensue. For now, live life. To the fullest. Carpe Diem!
April Fool's was interesting. My father was due to arrive at the airport, and for awhile, i was afraid that he wouldn't turn up after i'd waited for him at the gate, cos it was April Fool's. It was the dumbest thing. Of course he turned up. With the alcohol I ordered. Derrick, if you are reading, I'm all set. Black Label and Chivas.
So my parents were in town for the first 2 weeks of the month. Nice to have them around, although my life does it interrupted quite a bit. My car disappears in the mornings, and whenever I want it, it wouldn't be available. Life's like that. You never get what you want, when you want it. As I've said many times, the fates are cruel.
My toilet pipe burst the other day. Its very surreal to see an indoor fountainin your house, when the night before, it was just a flight of stairs. The water flowed from my 2nd floor toilet, down the stairs, flooding the whole 1st floor, and finally out the main gate. Quite a journey. Quite a water bill coming next month. Took the whole morning to dry up. Thankfully the damage was minimal, and no one died from electrocution, which was a very possible likelihood.
Due to this flooding, my brother was late getting to school. One of the discipline masters called me up and reprimanded, in a sense, that my lil' bro should get to school in a timely fashion. I tried to pacify the prick by saying there was a fucking flood at home, and it was my fault getting out of the house late. He replies by saying that they only look at the matter superficially, and that he is just late, end of story.
I almost opened a case of verbal whoop-ass on the muthafucka! As if superficiality is a virtue, that sonuvabitch. Self-righteous cunny bastard. I'd never liked teachers, and this instance reminded me totally why. Its because of their high and mighty authority over the kids that have made them drunk with power.
In future, please constantly remind the teachers of your children of their real status is life. And ask them to really do something worthwhile with their lives. Like really teach things that are worth teaching.
My trading had taken a downturn once again. In spite of better discipline, the road is still long, and steep. Am I doing this to myself? Pretty sure, to a certain extent. I wonder how long more can I keep this up. Really a test of character. I'll keep you guys posted here.
Been loving the weather lately. Melancholic. Makes you just want to grovel in self pity and jump into your bed and pillows. Hide under the covers while the thunder rages around you. April Showers. Love them.
Doesn't help that my birthday lies during this period. And birthdays are, in a sense, a new year. A new start. A time once again to reflect on your accomplishments, or lack thereof. Pain and regret always appear, in my reflections. Been listening to Pearl Jam's Present Tense.
Of course, joy and bliss peek out from behind the clouds, embodied by the silver lining. Celebrate whenever you can, my friends. Life's too short, as they say.
Sorry for this rant. Order and regularity to ensue. For now, live life. To the fullest. Carpe Diem!
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