Here I am, posting from far-away Shanghai.
I'm here for the Lunar New Year holidays for 9 days straight. Yee-haw!
I hadn't had a break in the whole of 2005. The pussy Duff didn't allow me to have one. Limey Bastard.
Its been great thus far. Arrived in the dead of winter. Froze my socks off. The North wind was at his best, and his frost queen was taking a leisurely stroll up my groin.
Had a wonderful Lunar New Year's eve. Right about midnight, the fireworks were going off like bombs in Iraq, but much prettier. I had my fare share of the bangs and booms. We had a few that went off splendidly. I nearly lost my hand, when amongst our stash was a dud that exploded almost immediately. Just seconds before, I was holding a similar one, and was igniting the fuse before setting it down properly on the ground. Major boo boo on my part. I kept imagining my hand lookiing like a bunch of sausages, held together by tendons and sinew. Would have had to use my other hand henceforth for all stress-relieving activities.
Played golf today. Sucked big time. Will have to work on it when I get back home. Ah... Home.... such a foreign concept at this point in time. Aching forearms, lower back and quadriceps thereafter. Even as I type, the bitching muscles are complaining to my now frozen brain, but to no avail.
Anyway, it was excellent weather today. The New Year literall ushered in Spring, and it was a balmy 15 degrees on average. Had a leisurely walk home after a hefty dinner that was coupled with Red Wine. Groovy. Stopped off for an excellent massage by a true blue blind masseuse. Excellent fingers. Pity I dozed off.
Well, my own queen will be arriving soon. I had better catch some Z's before picking her up at the airport an hour's drive away.
Anybody reading got any shopping requests?
Monday, January 30, 2006
Sunday, January 22, 2006
The new Me
As I shove the Duff aside and piss all over him, I review what he's done with my life thus far and he really lives (lived?) up to his namesakes.
The Bugger is utterly useless.
The amount of procrastinations shoved up his ass knows no bounds. I rip them out irregardless of the consequences to his anal-retentive ravages, and toss them all into the toilet where they belong. Heavy flushing ensues.
Thus, just this weeek, I have left the slave camp, and am working towards the proverbial unbeaten track. Many an objection has been hurled my way, but I have just bought a new set of baseball club, gloves and ball(just under $100, join me for a game?), just for such occasions.
I will practice my swing, pump up on steroids, bat away well-intentioned but stupid criticisms, catch their envious remarks with the gloves, and flush them down the toilet with the above-mentioned hurdles that I've overcome. And when the twats turn around and walk away, I shall pitch the rock hard baseball squarely into their soft-shelled skulls to expose the pussies within.
This move will be directly working towards my goals, instead of making a roundabout route. It will also allow more time and flexiblity for me to achieve others things as well, like physical perfection (6-pack and IPPT by April 9th!) and other manly duties that I personally have been entrusted with, like running the entire household with an iron fist. I am literally the king of my domain. This arrangement will also allow me to pursue my other interests in life, especially penning down ideas onto paper, and getting these stories into mass production.
This is the year of change. I can't wait.
The Bugger is utterly useless.
The amount of procrastinations shoved up his ass knows no bounds. I rip them out irregardless of the consequences to his anal-retentive ravages, and toss them all into the toilet where they belong. Heavy flushing ensues.
Thus, just this weeek, I have left the slave camp, and am working towards the proverbial unbeaten track. Many an objection has been hurled my way, but I have just bought a new set of baseball club, gloves and ball(just under $100, join me for a game?), just for such occasions.
I will practice my swing, pump up on steroids, bat away well-intentioned but stupid criticisms, catch their envious remarks with the gloves, and flush them down the toilet with the above-mentioned hurdles that I've overcome. And when the twats turn around and walk away, I shall pitch the rock hard baseball squarely into their soft-shelled skulls to expose the pussies within.
This move will be directly working towards my goals, instead of making a roundabout route. It will also allow more time and flexiblity for me to achieve others things as well, like physical perfection (6-pack and IPPT by April 9th!) and other manly duties that I personally have been entrusted with, like running the entire household with an iron fist. I am literally the king of my domain. This arrangement will also allow me to pursue my other interests in life, especially penning down ideas onto paper, and getting these stories into mass production.
This is the year of change. I can't wait.
Thursday, January 12, 2006
The F Word
Fuck
What else were you expecting?
I bet somewhere in the analsphere that is blogodomy, there is an exact same fucking blog as the above.
I bet ya to find it.
In case you're curious, I've bitchslapped the Duff into submission.
This year, I'm in command.
His Truths? I piss on them. Constantly.
What else were you expecting?
I bet somewhere in the analsphere that is blogodomy, there is an exact same fucking blog as the above.
I bet ya to find it.
In case you're curious, I've bitchslapped the Duff into submission.
This year, I'm in command.
His Truths? I piss on them. Constantly.
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