The lack of heat slows down the inner workings of the Duff's mind, and his subconscious reminisces over the last 2 months, and is amazed at how quickly his conditions have changed in a twinkle of a fairy fart.
For just a scant 8 weeks back, he was suffering in the blistering heat of his homeworld, hunched over stacks of photostated notes with scribblings that made no sense to him. But he had to absorb the meaningless garble and commit them to memory nevertheless. How his brain formed the requisite connections between garbage only Star Trek science could explain. In that stupor, he went into retail therapy, buying an action figure and making many trips to the park, ogling at hunnies and futilely attempting to study.
The Duff amazingly managed to pass all his papers, using ancient secret techniques that he mustered under great duress. For the more judgemental, they would frown upon his ancient secret techniques, seeing them under a different light. For The Duff, it was a means to an end, and it was all good. Just another survival technique, like how a porn star uses an uzi when she has to catwalk across the prison ground to fuck the brains out of the warden.
And once The Duff got his results, he wasn't elated. He was just satisfied that this hurdle was over and done with and he could leave the hovel that was his living quarters for the last 6 months. He then had 2 weeks of R&R, to pack his bags, to mentally prepare, and to meet loved ones and friends before he goes to the great Down Under for the next part of his training.
Which brought him back to his freezer of a laundry room. The constant flight training (almost everyday) and new accomodations, and environment, was anticipated by him well in advance. What he didn't count on was the intensity of the cold, the high expenditure and the fucking high cost of internet access in a fucking developed country, which totally fucks up his notion of a well connected western society, and absolutely fucking fucks with his fucking surfing! FUCK!
*Pause for effect. Breathe. Zen. Woooooosahhhhhh*
40 aussie dollars for 5 gigs, muthafucka! Including uploading! knnbccb!
In spite of all that, he's quite enjoyed his journey thus far. In fact, he and a few buddies had already gone for a road trip that was eventful and satisfying. Detours and disappointments were met with supreme optimism and adaptability. Good clean fun, at an affordable price, unlike some other things in this marsupially infested backwater.
So, a new place, a new life. For hopefully a short and quick 9 months. 9 months away from home, 9 months of freedom, 9 months of gruelling training, 9 months of discovery. 9 months of seasonal changes, 9 months of blue toes, and perhaps blue balls. The Duff hopes he doesn't go home a smurf. Lets see what new Truths this land would bring to his life.
